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On the fence...


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im 21 and i am in my first relationship ever. we have been together for almost 2.5 years and throughout our relationship, there has been one particular thing my boyfriend does that i dont approve of (dont really feel comfortable to specify what that is online...). other than that, he really makes me happy. but that one thing he does that i dont approve of has led me to finally call it quits tonight. the problem is that we live together and hes giving me time to look for a place. he's very quiet and sad about it, and as ive been sitting here in bed for the past few hours, im starting to doubt whether i should do it or not. if we breakup it means we wont get to cuddle like we always do, we wont be silly with each other.... just little stuff like that that i feel like i wont be able to do with anyone else.....

 

its just hard for me to fully commit to breaking up because staying would make me an enabler but leaving would mean losing him

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He's your first relationship. Breaking up with your first will always be hard for everyone.

 

Consider asking yourself some things first.

Is what he does really the reason why you can't be with him anymore?

Have you talked to him about it? Gone into detail why you don't like it? Does he listen?

 

Also consider what you're doing with yourself.

Do you have your own separate life? Does HE have his own separate life?

What is it you're doing that you think is causing you to be "an enabler"?

 

You have to stand your ground. Don't let him blow you off and don't let him ignore you. Make him realize you two need to talk. Don't "enable" him. He's a grown man, I would hope, so he's responsible for himself as are you for yourself.

 

You also have to consider if the cuddling and lovey-doveyness is worth being in a relationship you're second-guessing. What do you both gain? What do you both lose?

 

Just want you to see different sides of things, that's all.

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