krista28 Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 I started seeing this guy at the beginning of march....I soon into our relationship realized that he put his friends and activitoes first but still somehow claimed to care about me. He was putting me off so much with his own stuff that I eventually blew up on him and called him a selfish a hole who would be alone forever and thats why his relationships dont work. He seemed tp rely not forgive me after that when we tried to fix things. Pushed me away said we were in a pattern of breaking up and that I was always getting mad at him. Finally today we talked on the phone and I said he was pushing me away he said hhe was sorry that he was "busy". I finally called it off for good and said I just dont care anymore and ended whatever was left. I am so bitter I loved him but the guys so selfish he just doesnt care...what should I do...move on I dont know. Im so mad is he gonna ever look back at what hes done? Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 So from day 1 you knew you weren't his priority and you accepted that..... I'm taking a deep breath and collecting my thoughts to tell you what you should do...... Kick this motherfu{<|ng a5$h0le to the g0td@mn curb and work on your self worth. YOU are worth more than what that a55 has to give you. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
SunnySide0418 Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 You just started dating beginning of March and you loved him?? You don't really know a person in 8 weeks. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 9, 2014 Author Share Posted May 9, 2014 Well I can't explain it Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 He obviously can't offer you what you want, so cut your losses and find someone that appreciates you more than he does. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Of course you should move on. What other choice do you have? He's made it pretty clear that you're not a priority and you're angry with him a lot. There's no foundation for a relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 I started seeing this guy at the beginning of march....I soon into our relationship realized that he put his friends and activitoes first but still somehow claimed to care about me. He was putting me off so much with his own stuff that I eventually blew up on him and called him a selfish a hole who would be alone forever and thats why his relationships dont work. He seemed tp rely not forgive me after that when we tried to fix things. Pushed me away said we were in a pattern of breaking up and that I was always getting mad at him. Finally today we talked on the phone and I said he was pushing me away he said hhe was sorry that he was "busy". I finally called it off for good and said I just dont care anymore and ended whatever was left. I am so bitter I loved him but the guys so selfish he just doesnt care...what should I do...move on I dont know. Im so mad is he gonna ever look back at what hes done? I doubt it. I wouldn't want to date someone who was always getting mad at me either. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Chocolat Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 I started seeing this guy at the beginning of march....I soon into our relationship realized that he put his friends and activitoes first but still somehow claimed to care about me. He was putting me off so much with his own stuff that I eventually blew up on him and called him a selfish a hole who would be alone forever and thats why his relationships dont work. He seemed tp rely not forgive me after that when we tried to fix things. Pushed me away said we were in a pattern of breaking up and that I was always getting mad at him. Finally today we talked on the phone and I said he was pushing me away he said hhe was sorry that he was "busy". I finally called it off for good and said I just dont care anymore and ended whatever was left. I am so bitter I loved him but the guys so selfish he just doesnt care...what should I do...move on I dont know. Im so mad is he gonna ever look back at what hes done? In your words, he's selfishhe pushes you awayhe's an a-holehe doesn't care about you So what, exactly, did you find to "love" in only 2 months of this R? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Well I can't explain it I have come to the conclusion that if you are unable to articulate, with objectivity, why you love someone, IT'S NOT LOVE. krista28, You need to move on. He's not for you and you had misgivings from the beginning. Ignoring such red flags is a sign that your affection for him was not love, but, perhaps, something more unhealthy, desperate. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 You need to slow down & realign your expectations. After only a few weeks imo it's ridiculous to expect a new man to rearrange his entire life to put you first. As long as you make the top 10 in a new relationship you are on the right track. Healthy strong relationships take time to develop. Your post seems to indicate that you want the same level of commitment from your brand new guy that I expect of my husband of almost 6 years. It doesn't work like that. One of my BFFs suffers from the same problem; she gets mad at the guys she dates because they don't act like her BIL of 25+ years. I keep trying to tell her that her new BF is not responsible to drive her elderly parents to the doctor, run errands for her or perform home repairs with her dad. She seems to forget that her BIL didn't do those things either in the beginning of dating her sister. What efforts did you make to learn about his hobbies & his buddies? If he played a sport, did you go cheer him on? Commitment & priority is a 2 way street. Clearly you & this guy were not meant to be, but I'd hate to shoot yourself in the foot again in your next relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 There are guys out there that might meet your requirements for time and attention but you aren't going to like them. As you get more mature you may work this out, at least I hope so. Link to post Share on other sites
jbelle6 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Any time someone has told me they are or have been busy it never bode well... I'm sure he made time for the computer, tv, hanging out with friends etc. People make time when they WANT to make time, learned that the hard way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Elle1975 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 I started seeing this guy at the beginning of march....I soon into our relationship realized that he put his friends and activitoes first but still somehow claimed to care about me. He was putting me off so much with his own stuff that I eventually blew up on him and called him a selfish a hole who would be alone forever and thats why his relationships dont work. He seemed tp rely not forgive me after that when we tried to fix things. Pushed me away said we were in a pattern of breaking up and that I was always getting mad at him. Finally today we talked on the phone and I said he was pushing me away he said hhe was sorry that he was "busy". I finally called it off for good and said I just dont care anymore and ended whatever was left. I am so bitter I loved him but the guys so selfish he just doesnt care...what should I do...move on I dont know. Im so mad is he gonna ever look back at what hes done? Not sure if he was selfish or not caring enough, not into you as much as you were. However, you did the right thing by dropping him since you weren't happy. You are now free to meet someone who will make you feel content and happy. I say good for you! Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 As a guy, I'm very slow in the beginning of the relationship - that is because I'm protective of myself and want to feel out the girl. However, I don't play games or make a girl feel unwanted. There is a difference between the two and it sounds like this guy wasn't giving you what you needed. Your feeling of love was most likely more infactuation at this stage. I promise you that goes away just as fast as it comes. Link to post Share on other sites
silvereyez Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 Yeah you were infatuated and feeling the dreamy love buzz... But's that not real love, that comes later . You made the right choice. The relationship sounds one sided and you haven't invested too much into this so walk away and don't look back! Goodluck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Share Posted May 13, 2014 recently i broke up with a guy that i had dated for about 2.5 months. it seems short but it was intense and i think we were in love. he is 36 and i am 29. anyhow...slowly over time it became clear he didnt have the time or want to make the time to spend with me. he kept putting me less and less and less of his priority, and saying he was busy..making me feel worse and worse and worse. i tried talking to him many times about it and one time got very angry. he started distancing himself even more then..he told me he wasnt ready to say goodbye but i finally pulled the plug thursday night. i told him i didnt want to do this anymore over the phone. now we havent talked for about four days, and theres nothing really to be said about it. he hasnt tried texting. hasnt tried nothing...no word..no response...no communicado. i am hurt this happened..and dont understand why when he was so attentive at first. but only cared about himself... i just dont know ..am i ever gonna hear from the guy again? Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 I'm sure you'll hear from him again; although, whether he changes his commitment level remains to be seen. I think you did the right thing, if you're looking for more. Why take crumbs? Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Share Posted May 13, 2014 thank you ja123....we spoke thursday...the last time...i have yet to hear from him....i have a feeling he will look back in regret. Link to post Share on other sites
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