Confused37 Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 My ex boyfriend broke up with me. We had awesome chemistry, really hot! We also enjoyed spending time together as friends. We were together 7 months. However, he was the strong, silent type so I wasn't sure about sharing deep, dark secrets with him so I didn't. Eventually, I found that I had to go the hospital for an eating disorder I needed free of. After I got out of the hospital, he didn't contact me. I finally called him after 2 weeks and he said he was breaking up with me because he didn't want to put any pressure on me. He said that girls with eating disorders feel pressure from their boyfriends to be thin. He sounded upset, like he was going to cry, so I guess he was sincere. I didn't know what to do since I had never been "dumped" before, so to save my pride, I accepted it. I busied myself with friends and went out allot. Then I got a message that he called. I didn't call back because I was mad that he dumped me and when I needed him. That was years ago. Now I realize that I need closure. I need to know if he was lying to me or really cared. Was it my fault that I didn't share enough or ask the right questions? Should I have fought for the relationship and not been concerned about "pride"? I found that he lost 2 members of his family over a year ago, so I contacted him on FB. I told him how sorry I was for him and his family and I was here if he needed anything. He never responded to me. It's been over a year. Should I apologize for not being more open to open the lines of communication for closure? Really this is bugging me, and I really need answered questions. Help? Link to post Share on other sites
Trovador Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 He could say a hundred things and you wouldn't even to start to feel the tiniest closure... because in the end, nothing matters... it's like saying how died such and such person? It doesn't matter at all, he is dead... And love is dead, how it went pop doesn't matter, because closure doesn't come from an external source but within yourself... He could tell you the truth, but it will do you no good if you have not accepted the demise of the relationship... It's like being fired of a job, you don't pass your days in misery waiting for a message from your ex employers saying why they were done with you. You start to look for another job and forget the whole business, because frankly, you can't waste your life remembering the good moments with your former company and lamenting how they let you go. Also, why depend still on your ex to give you what he can't give and he won't give you ever? If anything, he will make you suffer more... Just accept that all is gone and invest those emotions and efforts in something positive... Link to post Share on other sites
iDrumKing Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 He could say a hundred things and you wouldn't even to start to feel the tiniest closure... because in the end, nothing matters... it's like saying how died such and such person? It doesn't matter at all, he is dead... Very good statement. OP, in the end a failed relationship is a failed relationship. Trying to explore the reason will do nothing but bring more hurt to your recovery. Take it from me, I tried to connect the dots after my BU and was tossed into a whirlwind. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 My ex boyfriend broke up with me. We had awesome chemistry, really hot! We also enjoyed spending time together as friends. We were together 7 months. However, he was the strong, silent type so I wasn't sure about sharing deep, dark secrets with him so I didn't. Eventually, I found that I had to go the hospital for an eating disorder I needed free of. After I got out of the hospital, he didn't contact me. I finally called him after 2 weeks and he said he was breaking up with me because he didn't want to put any pressure on me. He said that girls with eating disorders feel pressure from their boyfriends to be thin. He sounded upset, like he was going to cry, so I guess he was sincere. I didn't know what to do since I had never been "dumped" before, so to save my pride, I accepted it. I busied myself with friends and went out allot. Then I got a message that he called. I didn't call back because I was mad that he dumped me and when I needed him. That was years ago. Now I realize that I need closure. I need to know if he was lying to me or really cared. Was it my fault that I didn't share enough or ask the right questions? Should I have fought for the relationship and not been concerned about "pride"? I found that he lost 2 members of his family over a year ago, so I contacted him on FB. I told him how sorry I was for him and his family and I was here if he needed anything. He never responded to me. It's been over a year. Should I apologize for not being more open to open the lines of communication for closure? Really this is bugging me, and I really need answered questions. Help? Closure comes from within. You'll NEVER get it from your ex. The End. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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