KevinC Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Hey guys When i was dating my ex we went to the movies alot, and now all the movies we watched are playin on tv. Every time i see a movie we watched together i would avoid it to not go in to nastalgia mode. Tonight there was nothing on execpt Grown Ups 2 wich we saw together at the cinema. I watched it and it didnt make me think of her too much to my surprise. It seems like making an effort to avoid them is worse than sayin screw it im watching it. So heres my question, is it better to avoid triggers or to try and face them to maybe realise its not so bad after all? What does everbody think? Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Hey guys When i was dating my ex we went to the movies alot, and now all the movies we watched are playin on tv. Every time i see a movie we watched together i would avoid it to not go in to nastalgia mode. Tonight there was nothing on execpt Grown Ups 2 wich we saw together at the cinema. I watched it and it didnt make me think of her too much to my surprise. It seems like making an effort to avoid them is worse than sayin screw it im watching it. So heres my question, is it better to avoid triggers or to try and face them to maybe realise its not so bad after all? What does everbody think? I personally avoid any and all triggers. With time they become less and less in number Link to post Share on other sites
sooshi Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Try confronting them. If it's too painful, you can remove yourself from the trigger for the time being. But over time, the same trigger will be less and less painful for you. It's a good sign that you watched that movie and it wasn't so bad. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 I say don't confront them right now. If you do confront the triggers, it needs to be in the future when you are more emotionally stable. I wouldn't go out of my way to confront a trigger, but there are times you can't control what you see. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KevinC Posted March 25, 2014 Author Share Posted March 25, 2014 I say don't confront them right now. If you do confront the triggers, it needs to be in the future when you are more emotionally stable. I wouldn't go out of my way to confront a trigger, but there are times you can't control what you see. Oh no i dont go out of my way to do it but tonight i did it and it kinda felt good, kind of feels like i regained a tiny bit of control over my life... Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Nice work, sir. Baby steps. This is a war of attrition. Day by day battles. You'll win some and lose some. Celebrate the victories no matter how small!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Depends how good the movie is. I probably would have avoided Grown Ups 2, but something like Wolf of Wall Street I'd confront head on. Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Grown Ups part I was pretty funny and part II wasn't bad either. I like most of those guys. Pretty good laughs abound Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Depends how good the movie is. I probably would have avoided Grown Ups 2, but something like Wolf of Wall Street I'd confront head on. http://www.quickmeme.com/img/4d/4dcf58e960583a63fc77463c303dd2737a365aec8d8966fcd26450715b1d1d48.jpg 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lamis Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 I avoid the triggers, but I am also only a week and a half removed from our relationship. Sucks a little bit though, because my ex and I both really loved watching movies/TV shows and talking about them, so I have a pretty long list of things I can't watch without getting sad. As part of our temporary LDR arrangement (I am near the end of an 11-month trip overseas for work) we were watching a couple of shows "together" on Netflix and watching them, and I really have no clue when I will be able to finish that shows that we were supposed to finish together, as much as I like them. OP, how long since your break-up that you are now able to watch things that you really associate with your ex/how long were you together? I'd like to get there too in the not-so-distant future, and just curious about the time frame. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KevinC Posted March 25, 2014 Author Share Posted March 25, 2014 I avoid the triggers, but I am also only a week and a half removed from our relationship. Sucks a little bit though, because my ex and I both really loved watching movies/TV shows and talking about them, so I have a pretty long list of things I can't watch without getting sad. As part of our temporary LDR arrangement (I am near the end of an 11-month trip overseas for work) we were watching a couple of shows "together" on Netflix and watching them, and I really have no clue when I will be able to finish that shows that we were supposed to finish together, as much as I like them. OP, how long since your break-up that you are now able to watch things that you really associate with your ex/how long were you together? I'd like to get there too in the not-so-distant future, and just curious about the time frame. We were together for 9 months broken up for almost 2 months Link to post Share on other sites
lamis Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 We were together for 9 months broken up for almost 2 months Ok, so about 20 percent of the relationship. So maybe I'll try finishing The Office and Angel when I get to the six month mark. Thanks for the info. For the 2 months before that, did you avoid triggers like that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author KevinC Posted March 25, 2014 Author Share Posted March 25, 2014 Ok, so about 20 percent of the relationship. So maybe I'll try finishing The Office and Angel when I get to the six month mark. Thanks for the info. For the 2 months before that, did you avoid triggers like that? Yes i avoided as much as possible but there are so many it seems almost impossible. The fact that we live in a very small town doesnt help any. Dont get me wrong im not over this BU by any stretch i just decided to take a little of her influence on me away. I took a chance and had positive results, im still weary tho, im not about to go head first and pretend like im over it because im not. Link to post Share on other sites
forgetmenot75 Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 AVOID. AT ALL COSTS. Yet, movies and tv shows...how can you possible avoid that if you love them indeed? Tricky. Change movie theatre. And start watching new tv shows. Have you seen "orange os the new black" on Netflix? really cool Link to post Share on other sites
Author KevinC Posted March 25, 2014 Author Share Posted March 25, 2014 AVOID. AT ALL COSTS. Yet, movies and tv shows...how can you possible avoid that if you love them indeed? Tricky. Change movie theatre. And start watching new tv shows. Have you seen "orange os the new black" on Netflix? really cool Heard about that show will check it out. Unfortunately changing movie theatre is not an option as there is only one here, as i said small town. Link to post Share on other sites
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