Mr.Pine Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 I recently received this rejection letter from a company. It's the generic, rejection template every company uses. After reading it, I had an epiphany. The things that go through a dumpee's mind after attempting to (unsuccessfully) reclaim what they've lost: "Dear Mr. Pine, Dear John, Thank you for your interest in our company and your recent submission to our Business Development Manager position. John, thank you for reaching out to me and attempting to get me back. We have reviewed your resume and have concluded that another candidate’s credentials and qualifications most closely match our requirements for this position. John, I have listened to your texts, voice messages and read your emails. They had no effect on me. Not only that, that other guy I was entertaining the thought of seeing before we officially broke up, well, his bank account, his car, his job and his schlong fit me better than yours ever did or will. We encourage you to review other open positions at our career site. John, you and I will never, ever, EVER happen again. We wish you the best of success in your career search. Please cease and desist attempting to contact me. You're freaking me out! Thank you. Eff you. With kind regards, Eff you some more. Human Resources Department Your EX-girlfriend Link to post Share on other sites
Snow101 Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 That's awesome. Made my day. If some miracle occurs and I'm actually a dumper in my life I'll be sure to send that along. Link to post Share on other sites
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