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I thought this was supposed to get easier with time... someone stop me!


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I am falling apart here people!

 

Im sorry, it is my first post, and I dont mean to barge in on you, it is just that I have been reading your posts since my breakup and for the first time I feel an urge to post. To vent. I dont know. I need someone to stop me! Common sense tell me I should listen only to myself, nevertheless, I need to listen to others right about now. Its time.

 

I broke up a couple a months ago. Correction: he broke up with me. He was in the mood for other girls. Yeah. He didnt know what he had with me. After 7 years!

 

So I hated him at first. But right now, I dont know anymore. I want to hate him, and I just cant. I have this bizarre feeling he wants me back. Stupid, I know! Stupid the feeling, stupid me. Still, we have always had a connection, and something tells me I just cant ignore that.

 

We havent had any contact. Any at all.

 

My urge right now is to put myself out there, for him to contact me. And my mind is telling me NO, if he is to contact me ever he is to make a huge effort to do so, I shouldnt make things any easier for him.

 

I am just hurting so much. I love him, I cant deny it as much as I hate that.

 

God! I would even be willing to forgive him. Yeah, as I said I am falling apart.

 

I know I am strong. I know I can handle this. Still, this day to day is getting harder and harder. I thought time was my friend, and it turned to be quite the opposite. Closing this door is very difficult. I cant bring myself to do it.

 

I would really appreciate any words of wisdom, I need them!

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Conqueror224

This is my first advice I have given so you may not want to follow what I have to say much or at all.

 

But what I have noticed is that he left you after 7 years so he could be with some other girls. Well I'm not 100% but I think he loves you just like you seem to love him. And the reason he left you was because he was thinking it was becoming to serious or someother thing like that so he may not be ready for such a serious relationship.

 

I could be wrong and he could just be a jerk and found some other girl when you were still going out and was attracted to her more but if this is true then he should realize what he had with you and will probably try to come back to you.

 

So there you have it all the advice I have also you decide wich one sounds to be like you ex and then if you decide the first try and contact him and if you decide the second then play hard to get but don't be really hard on him just make him suffer for his choice if he tryies to come back to you. Also you don't have to take any of my advice and wait for someone else who may have better advice for you.

 

Last thing just try and push through everyday. And if you go day by day for a while then you should go back to your normal pace wether or not you ex comes back to you but it won't be for a while and it will be quite tireing and really sad at sometimes but just convince yourself that it will be worth it.

 

Well here is my advice but I would take it lightly,

Conqueror224

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hey klassic,

 

I agree with alot of what Conqueror224 said. And dont worry i'm kinda in your position after being dumped after a year i felt the same way and i'm still a fool so i can relate to you kinda. But the thing that makes your situation easier then myn is the period of time you went out for . 7 years you got to understand thats a hell of a ****in long time and if he dumps you that proves one thing. Hes a ****in a**h*** and wasted your time and surely should die, he felt differently after a while, or your lucky you didnt get married because he just wanted different ass. And this all might be sutle and mean and i'm sorry it had to be put like this but you shouldnt be in the situation i'm in. But look understand sometihng you were the better person this is a concept i never understood taht in the end your the good person and hes the bad guy. And you might ask your self wtf is this person saying and what is this leading to but being the better person in the end will make your self feel better down the road because soon enough he will realize what a dip**** he is and MAY come running back but thats where you say no.

 

 

Look you got to forget about this ****head. THe best thing to do it that yes i know its hard to hate somebody you love becuase i'm in the same position. I recommend that yes continue no contact becuase theres no good talking to peope like this. It may be even better to start to forget and throw away the stuff he gave you because it might be to hard for you. But its gonna take you like 2-6 months to get over this guy if anything its not going to be fast. But only time will do you any good.

 

- GeNeTiC

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Thank you very much for your advice.

 

At least, I survived last night, which is something I thought I wasnt gonna be able to do, lol. I really reached rock bottom, although I have this feeling I have a lot of "bottoms" yet to reach.

 

I agree with everything you said. For one thing, yeah, it was getting too serious. The W word had appeared a few months back, I mean, after 7ish years, it kinda had to! And well, I was his first girlfriend, so maybe he felt he still had some skirt-chasing to do? Either way, that leads to #3, he is a complete a**.

 

I know it, I know everything. He hurt me in the most awful way. He KNEW that was the worst thing he could ever do to me. And still he did it.

 

But that doesnt change my feelings for him. And I hate myself for that. I want to forget him. I want to feel nothing but indifference for him. And I cant.

 

I am going on a date tonight. My first one since the breakup. I should be kinda excited shouldnt I? Im not! Its like since my breakup I became Ms. Popularity. Like fate is testing me. I had never had so many guys after me. And while the attention builds up my ego, I feel terrible! Like I am cheating on him or something. Isnt that totally stupid? I mean, he literaly left me for someone else and here I am feeling guilty for a harmless date. And yeah, my spirits are not up for a date either. But I realized I had to do something. Although I know no amount of dating will make me forget about him.

 

I miss him.

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((((hugs)))) Klassic

 

Going out with someone new isn't the the answer.

 

You have to allow yourself to feel like total crap B4 you will ever

start to recover from this.

 

And you are NOT stupid for still loving and missing him.

You are a genuine human being, and he is not.

 

Rejection is very hard to take.....I personally feel the 'anger/filled

with rage' stage is necessary for anyone trying to recover from

heartbreak.

 

Release those emotions, let it all out!!!

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HeUsedToBeMine... that hit me on so many levels! I am just so afraid to release my emotions. I fear if I do I wont come back. I will be forever lost on depressionland. I have this urge to be strong like you couldnt believe.

 

But I do feel like total crap right now, how could I not?

 

Thank you, that was very kind. And timely. :o

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Did you go out on your date?

I want you to know that the people who have posted here are right. You have to be really careful about getting out there too quickly. It is easy to get involved sometimes after a break up because you are vulnerable and support makes you feel better. It is also a common thing because it is hard to deal with the pain and lonliness.

 

don't beat yourself up about how you are feeling. Sometimes it is hard to process the situation. I mean you can realize intellectually that the person wasn't 100% good for you but your heart takes a while to catch up. Your situation is particularly difficult because you were with him for 7 years. I can tell you that I was married 3 years ago to a man that I had been with a total of 6 years. He divorced me for another woman and it killed me for a while. But I can tell you that I was totally healed and over it after 1 1/2 years - 2 years. I haven't posted anything regarding that relationship on here. I wanted to be with him at first eventhough I knew he hadn't treated me well or respected me. I was so upset because my life for the past 6 years involved him. Holidays were spent with his family and it seemed like he was ingrained in ever part of my life.

 

There is hope. You will start creating memories that don't involve him. One of the most frightening things that we have to face in this life is Change and the Unknown. Sometimes people stay in abusive relationships because they at least know what to expect. It is hard to make a break from someone that has been such an integral part of your life. Sometimes when I am really sad I try to think about the time before I met my ex-fiance and how I couldn't have imagined him. I am sure there is someone else out there right now that I will meet that I cannot imagine right now and I will find happiness again.

 

You can do it and you will find happiness again. Be strong and believe in yourself. Don't sell your grieving process short. You were together for a long time and it is going to take you time to heal.

 

We are here for you

 

I miss my ex-fiance (not the same guy I married).

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Hi klassic I think I've kinda been in both you and your ex's shoes. I broke up with my ex after almost 6yrs because he's my first bf, and after this long I felt that things were getting serious and if i was going to go on with the relationship, I had to be sure that he's the one, but I wasn't... I thought I wanted to see what's out there or to know how it feels to be single again. Maybe that's what you ex felt too...

 

I didn't do NC like ur ex did and we 2 were still close "friends/couple". The reason why I said I'm kind of in your shoes was because while we were "close friends" i started to realize I still loved him and couple months after we broke up, I wanted to give us another chance and I thought from his actions he would too. But i didn't know that he already had moved on and liked another girl. Now it's starting to hit me that I could really lose him and it's REALLY hard to have to accept that the person who's been a major part of your life for this many years will no longer be there, especially when that's the only person you've ever fell in love with.

 

Well back to your situation. I know part of you is probably hoping that he'd call you and reconcile your relationship one day, because you still love him so much. My ex called me 2 weeks after seeing the other girl and said he can't deny still having feelings for me. He's still on a limbo, but the week of NC gave him time to think about his feelings for me and her. But if your ex hasn't called in couple of months, not even to see how you're doing, maybe he's really moved on.

 

You said he literally left you for someone else, so it's possible that he could have fell for the girl while you two were together and ultimately made the decision to leave and pursue her. I mean if he still loves you, then you should've heard from him by now. He can't just completely sever ties with you so easily after 7yrs, unless he's happy with her now.

 

And about you starting to date, I'm still feeling the pain and numbness towards dating like you are right now. It's fine to go out there and meet new people (better than staying home and be depressed), but don't let anyone take advantage of your vulnerability. If you're not over your ex, you shouldn't invest yourself into anyone right now, and it's probably hard to anyway. It's best to give yourself some time to heal on your own and be with friends before you think about anybody romantically. As much I want to rebound sometimes, I know it's wrong and unfair for the other person.

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Hey i had to post...

I read your post and can relate so much to how you feel..i was with my ex for 3 1/2 years and hes the first guy i fell in love with, andwell he told me he fell in love with me too..

he dumped me for the same reason " I wanna see what else is out there" but to worse extent "I dont know if i love u anymore" and "You cant force love"

So we broke up and i made him promise me not to call me ..but he had broken promises so it hought that maybe if he really cared he would call..but its been 5 weeks with no contact whatsoe evr and instead of things getting easier they just seem to get harder..

lately ive even caught myself crying at nights because im like "How can he not have contact me by now???!" it really makes me feel forgotten!!!

 

Dont feel alone because ure not alone, i dont know why they do this, i dont know what theyre thinking, i dont even know if they still love or care for us or if they really have forgottena bout us, but right now i think that we need to stop thinking about them and thinking about us, this is really affecting us...

for example, i see the negative effect it can have on me , if i let it, but i can also see how i can make it push me be better and do things i never thought..one thing is for real and that is that we have to accept its gonna hurt, i mean we do have feelings, we did love them and still do...

but we cant stop breathing for them!!

I know its hard..trust me..i always am hoping or thinking "maybe" today he will think of me and call me..either way i almost broke down today and was about to go see him..but i stopped myself and said NO! If i been strong for 5 weeks, i know i can remain strong, i know we will hit weak moments were we are just at rock bottom but everytime we hit those times we gotta realize we have to push harder and we are closer to the point of no return, which is to the point where we WILL be happy without them, if they come or not is not even important anymore, because we dont even know which is kinda annoying...

if they do, do they even deserve us??? THINK ABOUT IT!!

all this pain, and agony they putting us throuhg only cuz they are curious, why should they deserve another chance when they chose to walk away to be with someone else and stuff like that...

when they didnt care that they were hurting us, and that they could possibly lose us forever..

they took that chance and they were selfish, and onjly thought about there needs...

so why dont we just make that a motivator to just MOVE ON!!!

 

once again i know its not easy..for me its been 5 weeks but im still reliving it as tho it happened yesterday..but i wont stop....Id be dammed if i quit now....

WE GOTTA BE STRONG!!!

just hang on tight, pray to God, exerecise and about dating people dont expect anything..ive tried dating guys since my breakup it just tends to make me feel worse...its weird but so far its been that way with me, so ive decided to just focus on me and not try to find someone else so quickly....

 

take care!!!

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I agree- you have to hang in there. You also have to think to yourself that if the ex dumped you- they have a lot of weight to carry on their shoulders--- its human nature to question and ask yourself "did i do the right thing". they know that they hurt you, they know that they disrespected you and that is a tough pill to swallow. one common thread is that they are selfish and they did it to benefit themselves.... not you or the relationship. start thinking about yourself not what your ex is up to.

 

my ex broke up with me about a month ago (he is 29 i am 26) he broke my heart terribly and the break up came out of the clear blue. one minute he is saying he can't wait to live together and get engaged and what rings do you want and the next minute he saids he can't be in a serious relationship anymore. at first i thought he got cold feet and he needed time but then i realized A HUGE RED FLAG. he never told me he loved me and i think that his mouth got way ahead of his heart. and that is a bad trait.

 

we went in and out of contact- would go 2 weeks talking about the break up and then the last 2 weeks we haven't spoken. however we spoke last friday and he went from being stoic to being nice saying that "we can still talk" hell no! you don't want all of me - you ain't getting any of me.

 

also he tried to be nice and say "i want to help you move on from this, i would have hoped you would have moved on from this" WELL buddy considering i was hoping to marry you- its not that easy and also its clear that although i never told him that i loved him- i did and he didn't so its harder and longer for me to get over it. PLUS its his decision. He told me that he thinks about the relationship often but he knows he made the right decision.

 

Everyone- be true to yourself. Time has a way of revealing things that you cannot see when you are in pain.

 

h

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manofmystrey

hey klassic

 

What u are going through is not easy. I went through something very similar. My ex fiance and I had dated her for 7 years and we were engaged for 2 then she decided that she watned to see someone else and she broke up with me. At that time i thought nothing good could come of this. I was devistated. But as the months went by i did what i was not doing. I let out my emotions and i felt great. I started a log in which i wrote everything that i was feeling and when i went over it there was a naturall progression. In the start its very difficult and after 7 years that wont make things eaiser but in time u will feel much better.

 

You will have several emtions like anger, sadness, betrayal they are all a part of the healing process. I went through heck and then some for this girl and in the end she showed me she was nothing but selfish. It seem like ur ex did the same to u. He was with u for 7 years and in the end he decided he wanted to be with other woman. Its naturall to want him back cause of the time. IOn the start u will think of him alot and as time goes u will see u will not think of him as much.

 

Then u will get to a point where u will want to see other people and u will hardly give him a second thought. Trust me on that. You made a good move by posting here cause the people here are great and very helpful.

 

Talking about all this will also make u feel better as now u have a place where u can come where people understand ur pain and what u have gone through and what u will go through in the future and taling about it will make things much eaiser.

 

Just have faith in urself. And as hard as it is right now think of all the things u have always wanted to do but could not cause u were in a relationship. This is also a great time to catch up with old friends or make new ones. You will be fine just give it time.

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Klassic--I can relate in some ways. Can anyone offer any advice on what it MEANS if you can't get over "the wrong" someone? What if you do hear from your ex on a monthly basis (only at 2am after a few hundred beers)? What if you know in your mind that he is not the one for you, that you would never feel as cherished in a lifelong relationship with him, or that you can't totally trust this person with your heart, but still sink every-time you hear his name or see him out? Does it mean we are weak if we can't get over the wrong guy, or is there enough there to think maybe timing is everything?

 

The situation: Dated for 8 months, broke up because he wasn't giving me everything I needed, I didn't trust him, and the words, "I think we're better friends than lovers" came out of his mouth. He ended up going back with his ex for about 1 month, realized what he had with me, and 4 months later ended up on my doorstep asking for another chance. I gave it to him. Relationship was better, but not as good as I was wanting. This is a man who has verbalized that couples are torture to be around, that once you get married your life is over, that the exciting thing about sex is when it's new and with someone new. He clearly has a warped perception of women and relationships. Still, round two he mentioned getting married someday, having kids together...brought up the topic more than me. I never intimated the conversation actually. Then, like clockwork, after another 8 months together, I woke up one morning and thought, "something is missing". I felt like an old married couple. He wasn't attacking me (sexually) I didn't feel the passion between us. But we were best friends, laughed together, could be stupid and gross together...felt totally uninhibited around each other. Still, after pleading to figure out why two people who love each other can't make it work, he gave up on us. I knew something big was missing, and when I challenged him on certain things...he retreated.

 

Now, 8 months later, and monthly drunk dials and visits late at night (which have now trailed off at my request--during a closure dinner, I told him that I want to move on, and that we can't continue sleeping together once a month--not healthy)...he respected my decision. In his mind he thinks, "I have to keep her around so that when I am ready someday, she will be there for me". In fact, at the close of our dinner, he said, "I could marry you and be happy for the rest of my life, and know that I have my best friend with me, etc. But I'm not ready for that". Wow, right? But in my heart, I can't say the same thing about him...so WHY can't I get over him when I know that my life would not be as fulfilling as I know it can be?

 

I still can't get over him. Maybe, I can't get over the idea of him getting over me. He called two weeks ago at 1:30am, he stopped me in a bar a month ago and told me about a dream he had of me, how I am what he thinks about when he wakes up and when he goes to be, how noone compares to me...etc. When he hears of me dating someone, he has to reel me back in with his confessions...then, he fills his evenings up with booze and skanks, who I know mean nothing to him...every blond girl I see him with is not attractive and are just easy fillers for now...he has the potential to be a good man, father, etc...so is it timing? Is this guy a total loser and I am just too insecure to think I deserve such a higher caliber individual?

 

So, the question of the year is: What do you do when you can't get over the wrong guy?

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I just had to post again to tell u to stay strong, there will be times were u will very depressed and break down in tears especially when u see they dont call but trust me this is the time to remain strong cuz it just means something good will come real soon, like maybe in 2 days u will be feeling better, thats why u cant give in those urges of contacting them...

Its been 5 weeks and 2 days no contact with the guy i loved so much..and the weekend for me felt horrible because i used to think he would contact me after a month and he hasnt..so i was at rock bottom, couldnt eat and began crying like when we first broke up..then today i woke up and im feeling good..

I realized today i hadnt thought about him for 2 hours, which to me is alot, considereing i used to think about him every second of the day..so i know im in progress and im not going to quit..

some stuff ive done since my break up..

ive enrolled to a new school, planning to ace my classes this semester

Getting a job at the mall

Working out MON-Fri...but making sure i run 20 minutes atleast on all of these days cuz theres something about running that really REALLY helps!!

Eating right MOn-Fri - Protein, water, Salads, fruit, yogurt etc...Noticing my body getting better helps my self esteem:)

Writing, expressing myself on my online journal

Accepting that I do love him but that i wont stop breathing or living because he left me..and tryng my best to not think of what hes doing, and just keeping my mind busy..

Cleaning my room- when ure clean it makes u feel better then clutter...

All his stuff are in my closet so i cant see them..

 

Anyways those r some stuff...

Either way just stay strong, trust us we all know it isnt easy and unfortunately its a dAY BY DAY process...try not to look behind and not to look too far in the future, just go day by day and be proud of yourself every day u resisted from callin or emailing him, and realize ure a day stronger!!

so far im 5 weeks and 2 days stronger and i will not stop..if he never calls me again, which would be really mean and sad well..imma still keep going, because i will not call him or contact him, he doesnt deserve that from me...

he knows i love him cuz i told him, on the other hand he decided to walk out on me to be with other people then ..let it be

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hi guys....

 

You dont know how much each and every one of your posts mean to me. I have read them about 20 times, lol. You give me hope. Those of you who are in my situation, and those of you who have moved past my situation.

 

I did go on my date. Not exactly a mistake, but I did realize it was too soon. I mean, I can go on dates fine, but it is not fair to the other guy, I am not ready... and I told him so. Still, he insisted on me giving him a chance to know him, and well, I dont know what I am gonna do about that. He knows perfectly well I love my ex.

 

Did I ever mention my relationship was long distance? Not always, but the last 2 years of it we lived a thousand miles apart. I surprise myself right now, I even laugh, how could I have not seen it coming? Today, I see every single clue, every single thing that actually told me things were wrong, but at the time I was completely blind about them.

 

Its hard to make a new life. Its hard to let go. Sometimes I feel like I am breaking apart, sometimes I am sure I will not go on without him (and that is so unlike me, I hate that!), and sometimes I know I can go on.

 

Still, I am waiting for him to call :( though I know the chances of that happening are slim to none. I know he probably has a new woman in his life. He probably loves her :mad:

 

I have to stop thinking of him! I have to focus on me! I find myself living my life according to him. I have to stop! :eek:

 

Thank you. Thank you so much.

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grrr ya it sux waiting to see if they call and as everyday goes by and nothing it just feels off but then u somehow stop expecting that call and i think when that day comes when u dont expect it is when they come..me its 5 weeks..n more but i sometimes wonder if he will call but i think im starting to see that he wont, he would have already wouldnt he? maybe hes gonna wait a year or maybe never call..i just think hes like me , he knows we ahve to move on..

 

I dunno sometimes im down and then im up, sometimes ifind myself missing him sometimes i dont..ahh im taking it day by day tho , trying to come up with things to keep me busy, so far running everday is helping me..it keeps my mind focused on being in shape which is good and plus i live by a university and when i run i see cute guys!!

 

ahh either way just take it day by day..its not a fast process..its slow but everntually u will find ureself thinking of him less and less...

 

goodluck and stay strong....

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  • 1 month later...

Klassic,

I have never ever posted on a site like this, though I have read them often for the advice given to people in my situation. I don't even know how these sites work...if you will even read this since the other posts are a month old. But I had to write because our stories are too similar. Seven years, the last 2 long distance. And then he bailed. The thing is I know he moved on 2 weeks after. And that just twists the knife. We were together for seven years, and he left this relationship, and slid right into another and kept going. I don't even know how someone can do that, how it's even possible, but he did. They are together, they are sleeping together, I guess they are a couple.

 

 

I am trying hard to think that if someone can do that after this long, that's not someone I want to be with. But I don't know how to stop loving him. It's hard to feel like it all meant so little to him. But I am determined to get over it, though it hurts like hell. If he ever tried to come back, which I can't imagine since he moved on, it's been two months, and I haven't spoken to him. But if he ever did, I want to be in a place where I can say Go F*** yourself (sorry about the harsh language, sometimes I more sad, sometimes I am more mad). It's sad that it would be that way after all we shared, but he did it, not me. But knowing that he is with someone, that she is doing everything I did, and I can be so easily replaced is a hard pill to swallow. It hurts like hell every day. Let me tell you, I never thought he would do that...move on so quick. The break up was over marriage/future and not love. It was supposedly just as hard on him as it was on me....but I guess not. I know all about rebounds and such, but if you really love someone a) how could you even be with someone else and b) why would you want to ruin the chances that we could maybe make it work. i have a lot more questions than i do answers and i know i will probably never have the answers. So i am going to figure out how to get past this without answers. If I need someone professional to tell me how I do that, then that's what it takes.

 

It helps to know that others go through similar situations. And I am not the only one at seven years going wtf?

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LoveSick-

 

I give you a lot of credit for biting the bullet and moving on. If I might ask- why did you break up? How old are you both? How do you know that your ex is with someone else?

 

I agree with you- its hard to move on with no answers... But you know what you will always have a bunch of questions... its natural to have... AND I would feel the same way- how can you be so replaceable? Did you ever think (and I hate to say this) but was your ex speaking to this person during the last part of your relationship? its common and it makes it easier for the ex to be the dumper when there might be potential with someone else on the side.. Not saying this is the case- just curious if you thought about that.

 

I am still so upset about my break up... I am 26/ex is 29. We were together for about a year.. spoke about the future, engagement, marriage, etc... having children, etc.. Then out of the blue - broke up with me on the phone. Said he didn't want to be in a serious relationship... said he is flipped, needed time, etc.. Well have several email attemps, phone calls, he is showing no signs of wanting to be back, etc.. Said he wanted to speak- i said no it wouldn't be good for me. Basically he is done. He seems to have moved on. We haven't spoken in about 3 weeks and we have been broken up for about 10 weeks. Its really such a shame.

 

What do you do to help yourself not think about things? Does the hurt subside when you have someone else to think about or someone else that you are interested in?

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L0VESick,

 

The exact same thing is happening to me right now. Same situation, 2 months ago she broke up. She started dating pretty much before I was out the door.

The thing is I know he moved on 2 weeks after

 

My guess is he thinks he has moved on. There is no question in my mind that he will ponder for long hours if he made the right decision.

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While I usually advise that once broken up, stay broken up, after a 7 year relationship, I understand that it's hard to live without someone. Did he treat you badly during the relationship? If not, call him up, and ease your mind. I had a boyfriend dump me, and after a month of missing him so bad that I couldn't breath, I went to see him. Holding him just eased everything. His excuse was that "He had to much going on" to be with me....whatever that means. So at least since I tried, I can accept it. I'd hate to be looking back on that now, and wonder what might've been if I hadn't contacted him.

 

So if your need to contact him is that big, put your pride aside, and call him. What's it going to hurt? It might blow your ego, if he turns you down, but at least you'll know, and maybe you'll be able to move on :)

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Like I said, I've never used a site like this before and am not completely comfortable with it. Like when you write all the details out for everyone to see....he's going to see it. Not that he would ever stumble upon it, but it's a little disconcerting.

 

Anyway, we are both 26. We broke up over whether or not to get married. He did know her before we broke up and was friends with her. I had a problem with it because I thought she was after him, even though she knew he was in a relationship. He told me so many times, in so many ways, that nothing was going on. That's what's the biggest slap in the face that he moved on with her so quickly after everything he told me, everything he promised. How could he not have felt like the world's biggest hypocrite? As angry as I am, I still believe nothing was going on beforehand, while he said all these things to me, while we discussed getting married. I don't know for sure and I never will. How do I know he moved on? After 7 years you have almost all the same friends. He actually told them not to tell me, but after a month, and knowing how upset I was over the breakup, one of them felt like I had the right to know.

 

Anyway, I tried all the talking/get back together stuff. That was all before her. He came back at one point after breaking up and said he was confused, thought he made a mistake and wanted more time. I gave it to him, only to have him say that he shouldn't have asked for it, because he didn't know if he would ever get the answers he was looking for. All before her. Two weeks before her.

 

Now, there's no reason to try anything else. He made his choice, and he's still with her. For whatever reason, the seven years we spent together weren't worth that much to him. He threw it all away. Even the possibility to be friends someday. I wrote him a letter saying all that. I know how people feel about letters, but I said everything I wanted to say. I was tactful, and honest, and didn't name call or even get angry. I know he read it (he yelled at those friends for telling me) but I never heard back. But I know he heard what I had to say. It's so sad that a relationship goes from happy and loving to this in literally 2 months.

 

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not nearly ok. I cry every day. I just know that I want to be ok. And I am determined to be ok. And I am going to do whatever it takes to get there. And I have a lot of friends telling me that I will and I can.

 

But thinking of them every day, happy, in MY relationship sucks. And it's not fair that I have to go through all this, and he doesn't have to do any of it.

 

PS - I guess you can't even star out bad words... something was deleted from mine before it was posted.

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