Blocked ex from social media , Happy and sad

[crazybestie101]

Honestly , i never wanted to do this blocking game but i will just to do it for revenge.I feel like its very childish and immature thing to do at the age of 24. I just came to know that my ex now thinks that " with passing time , i will be okay , will forget what he did to me and will accept that it was all my fault". And also he thinks that someday after all this i will forgive him and will be his friend again. Oh Lord , look at this guy's guts. How heartless , jerk and stupid people can be. After this many months , they are still running their logics. I just want to let this guy " No dude , there is no forgiveness for what you did , i will never be nice to you even after i will find love in someone else, there is no going back , i will always hold resentment toward you. So get lost from my face."

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Honestly , i never wanted to do this blocking game but i will just to do it for revenge.I feel like its very childish and immature thing to do at the age of 24. I just came to know that my ex now thinks that " with passing time , i will be okay , will forget what he did to me and will accept that it was all my fault". And also he thinks that someday after all this i will forgive him and will be his friend again. Oh Lord , look at this guy's guts. How heartless , jerk and stupid people can be. After this many months , they are still running their logics. I just want to let this guy " No dude , there is no forgiveness for what you did , i will never be nice to you even after i will find love in someone else, there is no going back , i will always hold resentment toward you. So get lost from my face."

 

And how do you know he said this???

[purplehues]

So much drama after break-up. I didn't block my ex, but I'm not logging on FB @ all until I'm over it. Though it seems like that'll never happen... Had a friend change my password and she'll give it to me when things are okay again.

As for revenge--doesn't seem to be the healthiest way to be dealing with it. Scary to think that we would give someone who is no longer a part of our lives that much control. Especially if he treated you that poorly, which seems to be the case I think it best to just move on with no agenda towards out ex in mind.

And it stinks. It's my 3rd day being broken up (and third day of NC) and I'm losing my mind. I think I'd prefer to feel angry over this crap.

[crazybestie101]

And how do you know he said this???

 

He was telling my friend about it.Funny thing is that he advices people on relationships, he think that he is expert in relationships. What a stupid guy!

[fixing]

If you want to get over your ex, then trust me, blocking on facebook is the way forward.

It leaves you NO DOUBT everytime you get a red notification that it isnt them. I dont agree with people putting their own account on deactivation. Why show people you are affected?

Facebook is a useful tool. Block the ex, and mutual friends. Because to them, its the same difference in you deactivating.

[chris21422]

Hey bestie.. first of all chill a bit

 

second learn how to forgive and accept the fact that sometimes things just doesn't work out the way we want to, Forget about revenge..

 

also it's good that you are staying away from social media though the idea of keeping your ex in there it's just a bad idea.

[jphcbpa]

i broke up with FB yesterday...feels good.

 

I had been thinking about it for a while anyway and ex is not on there so i went forward with it.

[crazybestie101]

Well , just like how other poster said , i dont believe that i should put down my social media for my ex. Why would i disconnect with my friends because of him. That gives him more power. So i DIDNT do that for that reason , i blocked him just to show him revenge since he blocked me from texting and emailing him. Above all , yes i still think of him and cry about our time together. i really felt first time in my life that i finally met my soulmate , felt so close to him, everything was just fell in place from day 1. Now , all is gone. Despite of all these feeling , i am very determined that i wont contact him ever. That guy didn't deserve second of my time from the moment he chose to drop me. NO more go backs!

[iouaname]

I had to block and delete my ex from everything, as well. I guess to some people it might seem extreme and dramatic, but I felt that it was right for me. Sometimes it's just what you need to do.

[hurts2death]

agree.

(i like your car)

911 turbo? woa watch out for npd women the r gonna stick around.

Hey bestie.. first of all chill a bit

 

second learn how to forgive and accept the fact that sometimes things just doesn't work out the way we want to, Forget about revenge..

 

also it's good that you are staying away from social media though the idea of keeping your ex in there it's just a bad idea.

[OhThatGirl]

You are probably not going to like what I have to say. You should hear it anyway.

 

It's worrisome that you were with this guy for 3 months and 9 months AFTER you broke up you're still "revenge" blocking him on social media.

 

The fact that you still concern yourself with him at all when he made it soooo abundantly clear he didn't want anything to do with you is worrisome. The fact you care at all about what he says, what he's doing, what he thinks, and how he feels is worrisome.

 

Stop. Just stop. It was 3 months. It may have been the best 3 months that any two people could ever spend together but it was still just 3 months.

 

Move on. But do it for real. Don't look at anything that relates to him. Don't talk about him/to him/with people that know him or about him.

 

I really feel for this guy. He told you he wasn't into it anymore and you have gone all scary crazy ex on him. You crossed some boundaries that shouldn't have been crossed. Now he's saying that eventually you will get over it and he should have every right to think that way. Because when someone has given you zero thought of reconciliation, the only thing to do is move on. He's thinking that you are emotionally mature enough to do this. THAT and keeping any contact with you at all are the only mistakes this guy has made.

 

Now... Again, you probably didn't want to hear that. Please believe that I am NOT trying to be mean but I am hoping you will see that this is incredibly unhealthy of you to be holding on to resentment and seeking revenge because a guy you dated for 3 months lost interest and moved on. I haven't heard anything bad that he really did. You may not have LIKED what he did, but nothing was evil about it. It really just seems you feel cheated that he moved on.

 

Well.. Get used to it. This is what people do when they have checked out of a relationship. It hurts. A lot. We cope. We manage. We get past it. I'm afraid you're still hanging on and I can't figure out why. It's time to put this to bed. For good. Enough is enough.

 

And... One more thing.. The new guy that you posted about. You are still comparing him to your ex. That's unfair. It would seem that you're also headed down some unhealthy behaviors with this "talking for hours at a time" and "texting him too much" thing. Girl. Listen to me. Less is more. You are going to throw yourself into these relationships before you even get to know the other person. You're going to build it up so much that when they really have had enough of you it's going to break your heart all over again.

 

I highly suggest you stop thinking about your ex at all. I also suggest you SLOW DOWN with any other guys that might cross your path. There is something very valuable in "always leaving them wanting more."

 

Again. I'm not trying to be mean but there are red flags waving like mad all over the place here. Guys who are ready for a healthy relationship (as in, the ones you would want to give your time to) are going to see them from a mile away and avoid you.

 

Good luck.

[crazybestie101]

Thanks for your advice . I will say there is always more to the story. This ex of mine stays in another state , he was the one who was head over heels for me at first. He kept me in hope that we are dating exclusively, he was the one who talked about marriage and future life. He even told everything is so good between us , our interests and lives are so similar. The moment he realized everything is getting serious.

 

He dropped out. When i asked him for reasons. He said nothing went wrong but i just dont know. i let it for 1 month until i got tired running clueless. So i ringed him up and he felt pressured so he told me" all this is going serious and i dont want to get into relationship". I need lot of attention ( He was the one who kept telling me to talk to him all day in begining ). He also told me he is just dating to be friends later down the road. He told me he wants to date as many girls as he can at time. He knew after listeing all this i wlll stop by myself.And yes he NEVER listened what i had to say , DIDNT even give chance to work things out.He controlled me all the way.

 

Then he manipulated me to be friends with him. He still used to talk to me for hours as friends but later he realized that my feelings wont go away So one day again out of blue he started arguing with me and blocked me all over place. I didnt even do anything. Finally i had enough and i wanted to say , do and gave my last go. That's why i drove to his state. Mind you , i am south Asian and so does he , our concept of dating is different and bit tricky. We date to get married, he knew all this but he just played me. And above all why would give someone wrong hope when you know later down the road you just want to be friends with them.

 

Sometime i feel like to say " i went to $500 worth of date just for the guy to tell me that he doesnt want to get into relationship". Why would you give someone false hope and make them fly to your place when you know later you will break their heart.Now i think that he was thinking that i will be chill if later he says no to me. But it went opposite. After listening all this if you still think he was right then i am sorry i dont agree what you have to say. Even for split second i dont even think he was right in any way. He had his last chance last year to prove him right and if he was that good of guy.

 

He should have atleast took courtsey to talk to me or ask me why i had to drive so many miles. Just like a decent guy he would have talked to me once that time , i would have easily got it and backed off. But he chose to take high road so i will do same. I will never change my thinking towards him. Mind you again , we dont weigh relationship according to their length. From day one he knew what he was getting into. You said he moved on ? Sure , just to get off his mind he started talking to 2 girls .

 

He realized that all of them will somewhere here and there they will want relationship so he dropped out and now living his single life. I would never like people who gives other false hope and then drop out and being cruel and heartless..

Edited January 24, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[OhThatGirl]

he was the one who was head over heels for me at first. He kept me in hope that we are dating exclusively, he was the one who talked about marriage and future life. He even told everything is so good between us , our interests and lives are so similar

.

 

Yes, because at the beginning of the relationship he felt this way. He probably saw the two of you having a future together.

 

He dropped out.When i asked him for reasons. He said nothing went wrong but i just dont know.

 

This is when that changed. He started feeling otherwise. He didn't see a future, he was not as interested in the relationship as you were. Clue #1.

 

So i ringed him up and he felt pressured so he told me" all this is going serious and i dont want to get into relationship".

 

He said he didn't want a relationship. Clue #2. And by the fact he said he didn't want to get in to a relationship and not just that he wanted out of the relationship it's clear that he felt differently about what it is that you two had to begin with. Clue #3.

 

I need lot of attention ( He was the one who kept telling me to talk to him all day in begining ).

 

This translates as being needy. Needing a lot of attention? Ouch. And let me put it like this: 1) He probably wanted to talk to you a lot in the beginning. He liked you and saw a future with you. He wanted your time and attention. As his feelings changed, the time and attention he wanted from you did too. and 2) Just because he was telling you to talk to him all day, doesn't mean you have to. See my previous post about leaving them wanting more. It's not a game, it's just that you don't need to talk all day everyday. You need to have a life. It is your responsibility to determine how much you're giving and whether it's appropriate. You don't count on anyone else to tell you if what you're doing is reasonable. You make your own decisions.

 

He also told me he is just dating to be friends later down the road. He told me he wants to date as many girls as he can at time.

 

Ummm. Clues #4-5. He told you this. He didn't disguise his intentions. He TOLD you this. Applaud the man for being honest.

 

And yes he NEVER listened what i had to say , DIDNT even give chance to work things out.He controlled me all the way.

 

He doesn't owe you anything. We may feel like people owe us something, but they don't. And besides, there was nothing to work out! From his perspective there was no relationship and he had been quite clear about not wanting one. Believe him when he says this!

 

And secondly - OMG your ability to accept responsibility needs some serious work. He did not control you. Ever. He had interest and then he didn't. He didn't manipulate you. He did not force you to do anything. There is no controlling going on. You just don't accept responsibility. It's that simple.

 

Then he manipulated me to be friends with him.

 

See what I mean? You either give friendship or you don't. You can't be manipulated. You'd rather have something than nothing and you took his friendship because you couldn't get a real relationship. That's not being manipulated, that's not having courage to say no.

 

He still used to talk to me for hours as friends but later he realized that my feelings wont go away So one day again out of blue he started arguing with me and blocked me all over place. I didnt even do anything.

 

Yes, because he wanted a friendship and nothing more. You wanted more and, I'd bet my entire savings on it, kept telling him this, harassing him about his feelings, trying to make it a relationship. Again.. no ownership of the role you played here. I see a trend.

 

Finally i had enough and i wanted to say , do and gave my last go. That's why i drove to his state.

 

He blocked you on everything and so you drove 700 miles to talk to him? Aside from being desperate and crazy, it's disrespectful. This guy was honest with you, told you he didn't want a relationship, blocked you from all communication so you drove to see him. Horrible idea. Horrible. We all do things we later regret when we are hurt but the issue I take is 1) this is a drastic and pretty creepy thing to do and 2) you still don't seem to realize that.

 

Mind you , i am south Asian and so does he , our concept of dating is different and bit tricky. We date to get married, he knew all this but he just played me.

 

Most cultures date to get married. That doesn't mean the only person you date is going to be the person you marry. Thats why you don't just get married in the first place. And again, this guy didn't play you. In the least. He lost interested, told you he didn't want a relationship. Just because he initially had interest doesn't mean he played you. It's just how he felt.. at the time.

 

 

Sometime i feel like to say " i went to $500 worth of date just for the guy to tell me that he doesnt want to get into relationship". Why would you give someone false hope and make them fly to your place when you know later you will break their heart.

 

Yes it sucks that you spent $500 to fly to see him and later it didn't work out. I highly doubt he intentionally had you fly there knowing there would never be a future between you. That came later.

 

Now i think that he was thinking that i will be chill if later he says no to me. But it went opposite.

 

Why?? Why did it go opposite???? He didn't want a relationship. You back off, move on, and continue with life. The fact that he figured this is how it would happen is completely reasonable.

 

After listening all this if you still think he was right then i am sorry i dont agree what you have to say. Even for split second i dont even think he was right in any way. He had his last chance last year to prove him right and if he was that good of guy.

 

This is so not about him being right or wrong. People have feelings. They change. We have to prepare ourselves for this possibility. If anything, he was honest and that does deserve some credit. I really feel this is a case of you not liking his honesty and therefore thinking he betrayed you, played you, tricked you, and was "wrong." The only thing that he can do in your eyes to be "right" is to say he wants a relationship. That's not how it works. Everyone that doesn't want a relationship with us when we want one with them is not a bad guy.

 

He should have atleast took courtsey to talk to me or ask me why i had to drive so many miles. Just like a decent guy he would have talked to me once that time , i would have easily got it and backed off.

 

No. He owed you no courtesy. He blocked you on everything and instead of getting the hint and moving on you drove 700 miles to surprise him. A decent guy would have done exactly what he did. They would have been surprised, scared, creeped out, and asked you to leave. Anything else would have been misinterpreted (by you) as the possibility for working things out. And you wouldn't have easily got it and backed off. I know this because you didn't get it when he said he didn't want a relationship, you didn't get it when he said he only wanted a friendship, you didn't get it when he blocked you from everything. He already told you in every way possible and you still did not get it.

 

Mind you again , we dont weigh relationship according to their length. From day one he knew what he was getting into.

 

Your premise is flawed. He didn't know from day 1 that he wouldn't later be interested in you. He couldn't possibly have known that. And I assure you if he knew how many boundaries you would eventually cross and knew that you would still be driving yourself crazy about it 9 months after ending things he surely wouldn't have given you the 3 months that he did.

 

You said he moved on ? Sure , just to get off his mind he started talking to 2 girls

.

 

You and the relationship were already off his mind. You can't assume that he was talking to them just to get over the relationship you had with him. He knew he didn't want to be with you and talked to 2 girls. There is no backwards causal relationship here.

 

He realized that all of them will somewhere here and there they will want relationship so he dropped out and now living his single life. I would never like people who gives other false hope and then drop out and being cruel and heartless..

 

He wants to have attention of women without a relationship. He knows that. He has stated that. It's fair. That's not false hope. It's not being cruel and heartless. He knows what he wants and what he doesn't. Just because it doesn't align with what YOU want doesn't mean it's not right.

 

So listen. This was a 3 month long distance thing. The guy, from what you've said, doesn't even view this as a real relationship (hence he said he didn't want to get in to one.) The only thing you can do is pick up the pieces and keep going forward. He didn't do you wrong. He thought he wanted something and realized he didn't. That hurts. But stop holding this grudge because it didn't turn into what you wanted. Instead, be happy with your OWN life. Observe others in relationships. See what things work and don't work. Learn from this. It's a VERY important lesson: Guys do not owe you their future. They can have a change of heart, they can decide you're not what they are looking for, they can decide they are happy being single, they can want variety of many women. They can do that. We don't like it but other people don't actually OWE us. We HOPE that they know what they want, we HOPE they are honest about it with themselves and us.

 

The reason this lesson is so important is it will help you be better prepared for your next relationship. It will help you tread carefully, keep some healthy distance, create some healthy ideas about what you can expect from a partner. Based on things you've said, these are really things you've got to learn and there's no time like the present to do it.

[rosedl]

It is understandable to go through and angry and hurt phase with any break up, it is not productive or useful to hold onto anger and vow never to let it go. It doesn't hurt them. It hurts you.

 

I still get angry at my ex from time to time (with reason, he broke up with me, came back, and then decided he made the wrong choice and he did the same damn thing all over again and took no responsibility for it) and we were together for two years and a friends for a couple years before that. But, it has been less then a month since the break up was finalized. I can't imagine continuing to hold it long term, it would eat me up.

 

Forgiveness is more about you then the other person. It allows you to move forward without bitterness which makes you a LOT more attractive and available for any new relationship that may come along.

 

I know it sucks. It just isn't worth the vestment of time and emotion.

[Simon Phoenix]

I can't believe you are still trying to justify the driving 700 miles thing after all this time. It wasn't justifiable the day you did it, much less months later.

[crazybestie101]

.

 

Yes, because at the beginning of the relationship he felt this way. He probably saw the two of you having a future together.

 

 

 

This is when that changed. He started feeling otherwise. He didn't see a future, he was not as interested in the relationship as you were. Clue #1.

 

 

 

He said he didn't want a relationship. Clue #2. And by the fact he said he didn't want to get in to a relationship and not just that he wanted out of the relationship it's clear that he felt differently about what it is that you two had to begin with. Clue #3.

 

 

 

This translates as being needy. Needing a lot of attention? Ouch. And let me put it like this: 1) He probably wanted to talk to you a lot in the beginning. He liked you and saw a future with you. He wanted your time and attention. As his feelings changed, the time and attention he wanted from you did too. and 2) Just because he was telling you to talk to him all day, doesn't mean you have to. See my previous post about leaving them wanting more. It's not a game, it's just that you don't need to talk all day everyday. You need to have a life. It is your responsibility to determine how much you're giving and whether it's appropriate. You don't count on anyone else to tell you if what you're doing is reasonable. You make your own decisions.

 

 

 

Ummm. Clues #4-5. He told you this. He didn't disguise his intentions. He TOLD you this. Applaud the man for being honest.

 

 

 

He doesn't owe you anything. We may feel like people owe us something, but they don't. And besides, there was nothing to work out! From his perspective there was no relationship and he had been quite clear about not wanting one. Believe him when he says this!

 

And secondly - OMG your ability to accept responsibility needs some serious work. He did not control you. Ever. He had interest and then he didn't. He didn't manipulate you. He did not force you to do anything. There is no controlling going on. You just don't accept responsibility. It's that simple.

 

 

 

See what I mean? You either give friendship or you don't. You can't be manipulated. You'd rather have something than nothing and you took his friendship because you couldn't get a real relationship. That's not being manipulated, that's not having courage to say no.

 

 

 

Yes, because he wanted a friendship and nothing more. You wanted more and, I'd bet my entire savings on it, kept telling him this, harassing him about his feelings, trying to make it a relationship. Again.. no ownership of the role you played here. I see a trend.

 

 

 

He blocked you on everything and so you drove 700 miles to talk to him? Aside from being desperate and crazy, it's disrespectful. This guy was honest with you, told you he didn't want a relationship, blocked you from all communication so you drove to see him. Horrible idea. Horrible. We all do things we later regret when we are hurt but the issue I take is 1) this is a drastic and pretty creepy thing to do and 2) you still don't seem to realize that.

 

 

 

Most cultures date to get married. That doesn't mean the only person you date is going to be the person you marry. Thats why you don't just get married in the first place. And again, this guy didn't play you. In the least. He lost interested, told you he didn't want a relationship. Just because he initially had interest doesn't mean he played you. It's just how he felt.. at the time.

 

 

 

 

Yes it sucks that you spent $500 to fly to see him and later it didn't work out. I highly doubt he intentionally had you fly there knowing there would never be a future between you. That came later.

 

 

 

Why?? Why did it go opposite???? He didn't want a relationship. You back off, move on, and continue with life. The fact that he figured this is how it would happen is completely reasonable.

 

 

 

This is so not about him being right or wrong. People have feelings. They change. We have to prepare ourselves for this possibility. If anything, he was honest and that does deserve some credit. I really feel this is a case of you not liking his honesty and therefore thinking he betrayed you, played you, tricked you, and was "wrong." The only thing that he can do in your eyes to be "right" is to say he wants a relationship. That's not how it works. Everyone that doesn't want a relationship with us when we want one with them is not a bad guy.

 

 

 

No. He owed you no courtesy. He blocked you on everything and instead of getting the hint and moving on you drove 700 miles to surprise him. A decent guy would have done exactly what he did. They would have been surprised, scared, creeped out, and asked you to leave. Anything else would have been misinterpreted (by you) as the possibility for working things out. And you wouldn't have easily got it and backed off. I know this because you didn't get it when he said he didn't want a relationship, you didn't get it when he said he only wanted a friendship, you didn't get it when he blocked you from everything. He already told you in every way possible and you still did not get it.

 

 

 

Your premise is flawed. He didn't know from day 1 that he wouldn't later be interested in you. He couldn't possibly have known that. And I assure you if he knew how many boundaries you would eventually cross and knew that you would still be driving yourself crazy about it 9 months after ending things he surely wouldn't have given you the 3 months that he did.

 

.

 

You and the relationship were already off his mind. You can't assume that he was talking to them just to get over the relationship you had with him. He knew he didn't want to be with you and talked to 2 girls. There is no backwards causal relationship here.

 

 

 

He wants to have attention of women without a relationship. He knows that. He has stated that. It's fair. That's not false hope. It's not being cruel and heartless. He knows what he wants and what he doesn't. Just because it doesn't align with what YOU want doesn't mean it's not right.

 

So listen. This was a 3 month long distance thing. The guy, from what you've said, doesn't even view this as a real relationship (hence he said he didn't want to get in to one.) The only thing you can do is pick up the pieces and keep going forward. He didn't do you wrong. He thought he wanted something and realized he didn't. That hurts. But stop holding this grudge because it didn't turn into what you wanted. Instead, be happy with your OWN life. Observe others in relationships. See what things work and don't work. Learn from this. It's a VERY important lesson: Guys do not owe you their future. They can have a change of heart, they can decide you're not what they are looking for, they can decide they are happy being single, they can want variety of many women. They can do that. We don't like it but other people don't actually OWE us. We HOPE that they know what they want, we HOPE they are honest about it with themselves and us.

 

The reason this lesson is so important is it will help you be better prepared for your next relationship. It will help you tread carefully, keep some healthy distance, create some healthy ideas about what you can expect from a partner. Based on things you've said, these are really things you've got to learn and there's no time like the present to do it.

 

 

I don't know how to thank you for exactly pointing out everything. I Can see how things are going here. All i want to say is i really want to forget this and this guy. it's been few months that i let this entire thing go. I have passed all this already. As i said earlier , i have been speaking to other guys and now to that one guy. It's distant memory now. I truly never want to see this guy again in my life. Yes , i am holding resentment but i am not hurting and still moving on. Honestly , the moment i come on this site everything comes back fresh in my mind and then i write here , make post and some one from here come again and starts with this .. I don't want to justify anything of what i did. I did it because thats what i felt like of doing at moment and there is nothing much i can do to change. If he thinks me crazy ex like all of you , please do so. It feels like its been while i have passed him and i never want to contact him ever in my life. i do hold anger towards him but i am at much better place in my life. I am just doing fine but i wont forgive him. So again i will say i really dont want to get into any discussion on this. Yes , i was hurt at moment and i am no longer hurt . To me he is just whatever and possibly dead. Thank you again for helping me.

[crazybestie101]

I can't believe you are still trying to justify the driving 700 miles thing after all this time. It wasn't justifiable the day you did it, much less months later.

 

Simon ,

 

Will you please stop with this. I am not here justifying anything. I have passed all that , i am no longer hurt. I just want to forget this guy and whatever was there. I am at much better place in my life. All this has been a distant memory to me. I remember once how much i want to to reach out to him , how much i wanted to catch its attention. It's all gone now. I myself have deleted him and blocked him from social media. And please , spare me from that "700 miles " , at the moment i thought it was right thing to do but hey inside my heart i wanted to give it all so i kept on with it. I am sure somewhere down the road may be my ex will understand why i did that. May be from outside it sounded all crazy but anyways.

[Simon Phoenix]

Simon ,

 

Will you please stop with this. I am not here justifying anything. I have passed all that , i am no longer hurt. I just want to forget this guy and whatever was there. I am at much better place in my life. All this has been a distant memory to me. I remember once how much i want to to reach out to him , how much i wanted to catch its attention. It's all gone now. I myself have deleted him and blocked him from social media. And please , spare me from that "700 miles " , at the moment i thought it was right thing to do but hey inside my heart i wanted to give it all so i kept on with it. I am sure somewhere down the road may be my ex will understand why i did that. May be from outside it sounded all crazy but anyways.

 

I'll stop it once you admit that it was a stupid idea and something you should have never done. You still expect your ex to appreciate it. He doesn't, it freaked him out, just like it would freak out 99 percent of the population. I don't know why you can't just let go and admit you made a mistake without some sort of "yeah, but" reasoning to go along with it.

[OhThatGirl]

I don't know how to thank you for exactly pointing out everything. I Can see how things are going here. All i want to say is i really want to forget this and this guy. it's been few months that i let this entire thing go. I have passed all this already. As i said earlier , i have been speaking to other guys and now to that one guy. It's distant memory now. I truly never want to see this guy again in my life. Yes , i am holding resentment but i am not hurting and still moving on. Honestly , the moment i come on this site everything comes back fresh in my mind and then i write here , make post and some one from here come again and starts with this .. I don't want to justify anything of what i did. I did it because thats what i felt like of doing at moment and there is nothing much i can do to change. If he thinks me crazy ex like all of you , please do so. It feels like its been while i have passed him and i never want to contact him ever in my life. i do hold anger towards him but i am at much better place in my life. I am just doing fine but i wont forgive him. So again i will say i really dont want to get into any discussion on this. Yes , i was hurt at moment and i am no longer hurt . To me he is just whatever and possibly dead. Thank you again for helping me.

 

I'm glad to see you're optimistic but if I'm going to continue being painfully honest, you're so not past this. This guy is not a distant memory. Holding resentment means you are still hurting. The sooner you can begin to acknowledge that it just wasn't meant to be for the two of you, you can start moving on. Yes. As simple as it wasn't meant to be.

 

As for the crazy ex thing. Again, brutal honesty. Yes, you do look like the crazy ex and I'm sure it's not just to us, but to him as well. Luckily there is something more that you can do about this: First is to recognize just how crazy your behavior was. This isn't your favorite romance movie. No one drives 700 miles after being completely ignored and gets a good result. Second, I know this is what you felt like doing. This is probably what each and every dumpee has felt like doing. The thing that stops them is knowing it's absurd, not wanting to look like a fool when it doesn't turn out well, and having enough self esteem/confidence to know that they never ever need to chase a man and if he cares for a girl, he will do the chasing. Third, you can learn from this. You can see how it failed miserably and how much it hurt to be rejected after quite literally going to the ends of the earth to get a man back. Let that be a resounding reminder to never do it again.

 

And finally - you are so clearly still hurting. The words you used include anger, resentment, not forgiving, not ever wanting to contact him, and that he's dead to you. This is I guess maybe a step in the right direction but still far from "indifference" that we all strive for after a relationship ends. Anger is still an emotion. This relationship is not worth any of your emotion. I know that's easier said than done, so I will give you my next (seemingly endless) bit of wisdom...

 

Know that you are worth sooo much more. You're 24? Then you must (ok maybe not) realize that there are others in the world. Others that WILL be interested in you. That will give you the future you want. That have the same image of what a future should look like. Why you're still hung up on this guy is so incredibly mind boggling. You are at your prime. Go. Live it up. And not by talking hours on end with one person. You shouldn't even have the time to do this. If you have hours to talk on a phone to someone, it's because you don't have enough going on in life. Really. Truly.

 

As much as I'm opposed to obnoxious books that use games/rules for dating.. You could probably benefit from the advice. I'll save you the trouble of buying the books and sum up what I'm sure they say:

 

Have a life of your own. One that keeps you busy, makes you happy, is fulfilling in every way, that you feel satisfied with. Meet a guy. Let him chase you. Do not chase him. Give your time sparingly. Don't over analyze his moves. When he wants you, he will tell you. When this happens, continue to give your time sparingly. Continue living YOUR life. Keep your hobbies, your friends. Have boundaries. Know what you are and are not willing to tolerate. Know that if he crosses a boundary, you need to move on with the confidence that someone who will not cross your boundaries will also chase you.

 

Simple stuff really. Have a life. Enjoy it. Let go of anger. Let a guy chase you. And spend less time on the phone.

[BC1980]

Please stop worrying about this guy. This is an utter waste of time.

[CLS63AMG]

Relationship stuff aside, permanently deleting your FB profile will be one of the best things you'll ever do.

 

Its like closing the blinds on a huge window into your house.

 

I was off there permanently for about a year but had to make a login (fake made up name) to check a work related page and then went and checked on a friend I hadn't heard from since I deleted mine. Everything looks the same (lame) and nobody is missing anything.

 

There are actually a lot of people getting rid of facebook and its only going to get bigger and bigger - people going off the social media grid.

 

Plus - a FB profile that has been cluttered by an EX is basically garbage anyway after you break up.