Bishop556 Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 My ex dumped me about two months ago, and started to sleep around immediately afterwards with other men. She was emotionally manipulative and immature on many accounts, and yet, she wanted to remain friends with me. Why do I want my ex back despite knowing how badly she treated me? I know I shouldn't, but I miss her. Link to post Share on other sites
HeartinPain Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 It is denial. Most dumpees initially want their ex back even though the actions of the ex post BU are very hurtful. Your emotions are clouding your logic right now. I have definitely been there. 4.5 months later, I do not think I am able to look past what my ex has done post-BU. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ponchsox Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 ^^^ The first few months your judgement is clouded by only the good times. After a while you start thinking rationally about how poor they treated you and you come to terms with the breakup. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Pastel Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 It's natural. You cared for her and she's no longer with you. You'll get over it when those feelings of attachment go away, although it might take a long time. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
rosedl Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I understand this feeling completely. My ex has been a downright jerk to me. We were together for two years. He broke up with me twice. He came back and seemed very sincere in his regret for his behavior and we reconciled. Treated me wonderfully for a few months and then, he did the exact same thing all over. A few different justifications, but it was same thing all over again. The same pattern he has always done in all of his relationships. And, instead of acknowledging that and addressing it, he blamed me why he was doing it. Coward. Anger would seem the appropriate reaction here. Hurt, yep. But, mostly I miss the guy I spent the wonderful fives months with last summer and want so badly to go back to that. Logically, I get it. Selfish jerk. Stay away from selfish jerk who throws me away and blames me for it. Totally there. My heart is not cooperating. All the talk and action I have taken, it all seems bluster. I miss him, I do not want it to be this way, I want him back. Worse, I have been very sick (flu, bronchitis, pneumonia, sinus infection, all at once here) and can't get out of bed except for necessities. Kind of hard to distract a broken heart in bed (over two weeks). Bonus prize is that I lost my drivers license for 60 days for late paying a ticket and then driving with a suspended license that I did not know was suspended. So, even when I get better, it will be still hard to get out the way I normally would. Better, because I do have friends who will take me out and visit and there are places within walking distance. But, it has been brutal. Anyway, I wish I didn't love him. It is funny because he seems to have no problem focusing only on the negative and taking any and every mistake and flaw in me and the relationship and using it to push me away. He actually gets all arrogant and puffed up. It is stupid. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Softie Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Validation that our love did mean something and wasn't for nothing x Link to post Share on other sites
H245 Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 My ex dumped me about two months ago, and started to sleep around immediately afterwards with other men. She was emotionally manipulative and immature on many accounts, and yet, she wanted to remain friends with me. Why do I want my ex back despite knowing how badly she treated me? I know I shouldn't, but I miss her. This is EXACTLY what I am going through right now. 2 weeks post BU, though I don't know if she's been sleeping around yet. Her past dictates that she might be, who knows. But no idea why I miss mine as well... Link to post Share on other sites
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