mark1511 Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 (edited) My girlfriend broke up with me New Years Eve and now I am utterly devastated. Recently I have detected that she has lost all feeling for me and was just using me more for sex in the last several weeks. My frustration at the way she has been treating me all came out and I talked to her in a bad way about it and gave her the excuse to dump me. I was in a marriage for a long time and then met her within 2 weeks of the separation. I fell in love with her almost immediately and my love for her grew and grew. I have only ever had two women, my wife and then her. Now it's over I am utterly devastated. I have never really been alone before and now I know I won't see her again I can't cope. Everything in my house reminds me of her. She has given me the happiest days of my life. I just want the pain I am feeling to go. This may sound strange for a man but I find myself uncontrollably weeping. I've sensed this change in her for several weeks now and I have been pretty depressed about it and now I can't see any light. The reason why my marriage failed is because my wife stopped loving me. I opened myself up completely with my girlfriend. She didn't love me either and said it was because of too many bad experiences that means she can't love. Although for a couple of months she was saying she did love me. We were only together for six months but I was so happy with her. I've only been with two women and am 38 now. I don't want to play the field and value a loving relationship more than anything. I feel totally lost. I've tried talking to her, but her lack of feeling is extremely painful for me. I have to go to work tomorrow and I don't know if I will be able to hold myself together while I am there. This is only day one so I am praying that subsequent days will get easier. I don't know how to stop loving her, I just hope I stop soon as the pain is unbearable. I envy her ability to feel nothing, it must make it so much easier. Edited January 2, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
fixing Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 Im sorry to hear your this man. I know exactly how you feel. It will get easier. You must go no contact and it will get better. You will see her for what she really was, a user! Stay strong man. Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 And be single for a while to get to know yourself. What did you expect from a RS that you started 2 weeks after your failed marriage?? Well, I can tell you, odds are high it will happen again of you act in a similar fashion... Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 Also, you are defining yourself by being in a relationship. Bad idea. This will always fail in the long run. You will need to change the way you view women and relationships in general. Again, spend time, lots of time knowing, understanding and loving yourself. A RS should simply compliment you and your life. Not define it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Elias33 Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 Also, you are defining yourself by being in a relationship. Bad idea. This will always fail in the long run. You will need to change the way you view women and relationships in general. Again, spend time, lots of time knowing, understanding and loving yourself. A RS should simply compliment you and your life. Not define it. Agreed. Take this time for self-exploration and reflection, even through the pain. It will benefit you in the long run. Things will get better, I have been in your position more than once, and your post brought me back to painful times. But I can tell you without a doubt that things will get better. Stay strong, and build yourself back up again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
headinthecloud Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 (edited) I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling, it's awful. Just know that the pain is real and getting over a BU is a process that can take 3mos to a year or more - môst feel better after 4-6mos but it depends on if you maintain strict NC. Read the links in my signature, they will help you on your wày to healing. You should also visit Breakup Recovery Guide - it helped me through the bad days. First, go full NC immediately and commit to not contacting your ex for at least 30-60days...then see how you feel. Now start focusing on you - get busy, go to the gym, join a meetup group, go out with friends. Never say no to an invitation even though you won't feel like going out. This will pass and you'll start being happy again soon....I promise. Stay strong. And post here often. You're amongst friends. We are here to help you. Edited January 2, 2014 by headinthecloud Link to post Share on other sites
Author mark1511 Posted January 2, 2014 Author Share Posted January 2, 2014 Thank you all for your good advice. I will try to maintain no contact. I only managed to get a few hours sleep last night which isn't helping my mood. Link to post Share on other sites
notthathard Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 I only managed to get a few hours sleep last night which isn't helping my mood. That will happen, it's natural after such a shock. It took me a week or two to get my sleeping back to normal. Best thing you can do is spend time with friends, as soon as I had my friends around my mind never even thought about her or the breakup. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mark1511 Posted January 2, 2014 Author Share Posted January 2, 2014 She text me and I asked if there is any chance for us. In a round about way she said no. Now I am back at square one. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts