Mr me to Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Ulterior motives. My ex is treating me like a child minder offering to give me money to have kids. Acting like she so concerned about them missing me when all she really concerned with is being able to go away with her new bf... Informed me she going to be away when I am having them... Kills me being used so she can shun her responsibilities really wish I could go fully no contact. It's impossible to heal when I know what she is doing... Arrrggghhh What do I do about this? Do I let her know I know exactly what she is doing or do I keep on acting like I just don't care? I love having my children but I'm not willing to bow to her every whim... She completely shunned all parental responsibilities is living with her mum who is enabling her to act like a spoilt teenager Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 I feel for you but be the bigger person here. Your kids will see that one day. And try to have limited contact with her. Work on arrangements that suit you both. Ulterior motives. My ex is treating me like a child minder offering to give me money to have kids. Acting like she so concerned about them missing me when all she really concerned with is being able to go away with her new bf... Informed me she going to be away when I am having them... Kills me being used so she can shun her responsibilities really wish I could go fully no contact. It's impossible to heal when I know what she is doing... Arrrggghhh What do I do about this? Do I let her know I know exactly what she is doing or do I keep on acting like I just don't care? I love having my children but I'm not willing to bow to her every whim... She completely shunned all parental responsibilities is living with her mum who is enabling her to act like a spoilt teenager 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sambo77 Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 This happened to me with my son's mum. She pretty much left us and sodded off to live the high life with the new bf. I was shocked (at the overt and blatant way she put herself before her son and our family), felt exploited, and had no control over how she behaved as a parent. I know how you must feel. I used to cycle through periods of telling her exactly what I thought and periods of trying to just carry the can and do the lion's share of the parenting while keeping my mouth shut. Nothing really changed her behaviour though. She is what she is. In my case, I've turned into the overwhelmingly "main" caregiver...she fits our son in around partying, doing the high flying job she always dreamed of (which I put her through University to qualify for), and living with the new bf. Don't think she's set foot in his school to pick him up more than twice. As Haydn says, the decisions we make today may seem like the best decisions in the world at he time (and like they have no obvious consequences to speak of). However, we can be oh so wrong about that...and I'm sure my ex will wake up one day realising that the price she payed for a few years partying, "a relationship" (that'll probably last less than a decade), and a better CV will be an awesome relationship with a great little guy, her own flesh and blood. She can make her decisions...you gotta make yours. And the rough deal now doesn't always translate into the rough deal later... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
yorkie Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 wow i so needed this thread! my ex left 30th aug she has always done the after school pick up and has the kids every other weekend but she works nights at a call centre. she now wants to take me to court. for custody she even wants some of the furniture which yes was her inheritance but we were in a relationship and she left. this is really stressing me out she wants to move in with her new fella and now i am scared my kids are going to be taken off me! Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Really nicely put my friend. Many have said here before but you should write! You are a wordsmith. And a bloody good one. Keep going in the west country. haydn This happened to me with my son's mum. She pretty much left us and sodded off to live the high life with the new bf. I was shocked (at the overt and blatant way she put herself before her son and our family), felt exploited, and had no control over how she behaved as a parent. I know how you must feel. I used to cycle through periods of telling her exactly what I thought and periods of trying to just carry the can and do the lion's share of the parenting while keeping my mouth shut. Nothing really changed her behaviour though. She is what she is. In my case, I've turned into the overwhelmingly "main" caregiver...she fits our son in around partying, doing the high flying job she always dreamed of (which I put her through University to qualify for), and living with the new bf. Don't think she's set foot in his school to pick him up more than twice. As Haydn says, the decisions we make today may seem like the best decisions in the world at he time (and like they have no obvious consequences to speak of). However, we can be oh so wrong about that...and I'm sure my ex will wake up one day realising that the price she payed for a few years partying, "a relationship" (that'll probably last less than a decade), and a better CV will be an awesome relationship with a great little guy, her own flesh and blood. She can make her decisions...you gotta make yours. And the rough deal now doesn't always translate into the rough deal later... Link to post Share on other sites
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