Honeybun11 Posted December 12, 2013 Share Posted December 12, 2013 I was with my ex for a year, and when we first met we hit it off really well and had such a laugh together. We grew really close and I made it clear that I wanted to find someone who I could just go out and about with and see and experience different things and just do lots of stuff together and grow together. He made out like he wanted the same things as me, but as time went on it was difficult to get him to do things even just things like going out somewhere for the day, it always had to be planned it couldn't be spontaneous. He is such a mummy's boy and wouldn't want to hurt his mum's feelings by making last minute plans. So as time went on we started arguing about it. Anyway in September he broke up with me saying he couldn't give me the time anymore as he had just qualified as a teacher and would be busy. He said he still wanted to be friends and we continued to contact each other every day. I didn't hear from him for a few weeks and I found out a couple of weeks a go that he's found someone else. Considering how much he said he loved me and stuff I think this is too soon. I am so devastated as I hoped deep down that once he's settled into his teaching we would get back together and live our lives together. I am so upset and every day I wake up in so much pain. I just feel like I want to disappear until all this is over. I was his first girlfriend so I always thought I meant more to him, before he met me there was noway he would just meet a girl like he has now and take her home. I don't get it? I keep thinking though I'm glad it's me that's heartbroken and not him, because I could never forgive myself if I made him feel like this. I just want the pain to go away now, but it's not that simple I miss him and his family so much. Link to post Share on other sites
sportzhl24 Posted December 12, 2013 Share Posted December 12, 2013 Wow, honestly this reminds me a lot of what I'm going through right now. I was dumped as well, and I have most of the same feelings, feelings like I just want to wake up when this is all over, feeling like I'm drowning in pain, etc. But the fact that you don't hate him, and feel glad that it is you with the heartbreak and not him makes you a better person than him. People who can just break up with their bf/gf and then move on like it's nothing, are really not very good people. They aren't right for you!! He wasn't right for you if he just bailed on you like that. And the fact that you guys had different life goals and outlooks (or so it sounds like) hints that maybe this wasn't right. I know how helpless all this can feel. Trust me, I've been dealing with it for the past 4 months. I was dumped by my first gf and all my guy friends were telling me "screw her dude, she sucks, you can do better than that, etc etc" and I didn't want to hear any of it. I know it seems like very little is helpful at this point, but things WILL get better. This too shall pass. One day soon you are going to find a guy who is on track with you, and is good to you. Just take these next few days/weeks/months to focus on YOU. Stay healthy and active. Distract yourself. And never blame yourself for him leaving you. It is not your fault. Use this site often because it has helped me a lot. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Honeybun11 Posted December 12, 2013 Author Share Posted December 12, 2013 Thank you for that I guess I just felt like he was the one because he said he wanted the same things as me in the beginning but as time went on, the truth came out. Why did he have to lie to me in the first place and say he wanted those things too? Poor you having your first girlfriend break up with you you sound like a really nice, reasonable guy and maybe she'll see that one day and thank you for being such a supportive boyfriend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sportzhl24 Posted December 12, 2013 Share Posted December 12, 2013 Thank you for that I guess I just felt like he was the one because he said he wanted the same things as me in the beginning but as time went on, the truth came out. Why did he have to lie to me in the first place and say he wanted those things too? Poor you having your first girlfriend break up with you you sound like a really nice, reasonable guy and maybe she'll see that one day and thank you for being such a supportive boyfriend. You are welcome. Maybe he wasn't lying, rather he just thought that's what he wanted at the time. Or he was trying to convince himself. Honestly, let that guy go be a boring mummy's boy. And keep focusing on your spontaneous life of adventure;). And yeah, I hope that maybe one day she'll come around and try to rekindle things. It was my first relationship, and I made some immature mistakes. But honestly, I wake up every morning and tell myself that she's never coming back. Ever. Because once you let go of hope, you let go of pain. It is sad, i know, but we all have to do whatever it takes to get through stuff like this. Stay strong Honeybun11 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Honeybun11 Posted December 12, 2013 Author Share Posted December 12, 2013 I think I need to keep reminding myself of that, that he's not coming back, he's moved on and left me behind. Well time will tell and maybe when she does you'll be so over it, that you wont even care! xx 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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