To block or not to block!

[Sososad]

Ok guys just looking for advice..

Not the usual why are you thinking about it

And blah blah blah it doesn't matter . I do understand and get that!

So as I said I'm broken up with my ex 2.5 months now pretty much no contact in that time bar over a month ago we bumped into each other.

In this last meeting I was told how great life was with out me and how she's so happy ( think bragging was a term I'd use ha)

So she tells me she's blocked me from everything as she doesn't want me to know anything about her life be it Facebook or even "her last online time on whatsapp"..

So I walked away and left it. She sent a bread crumb text a week or so after I just ignored and pushed on..

So we were never Facebook friends anyway but the blocking was her doing ..

As we've a lot of mutual friends I was shocked to see her name pop up on someone's comments ..

So she's obviously unblocked me and yeah curious got the better of me and I checked whatsapp too and I'm unblocked..

I've done nothing and intend to do nothing.

But do wonder if I now go and block her is that making me look like I care and I'm pathetic or is it better to just ignore this and don't react ?

I'm not going to pretend it hasnt made me wonder why but who knows ..

Could it be a very weak attempt at re opening lines of communication?

What do you guys think am i best pretending I didn't even notice ?

[cavalier99]

Always block. This is sooo important. And what she thinks is totaly irrelevant. She wont be affected but it is super important for you and your recovery. Cav

[flight E]

If seeing things about her bothers you then block. If not act like nothing happened. But be sure seeing things about her makes no difference if it does block it right now or u are in for a roller coaster ride

[cavalier99]

I have seem many posters not REALLY start to heal until they block.

 

It is the act of blocking that is super important. Proactive step rather than passive. Also it isnt real NC if you get too many breadcrumbs or see thier stuff even inadvertently. YOU control blocking and it is part of real NC.

[Haydn]

Cavs dead right here. I blocked everything i could. But especially the social media. Trust me you have no desire to see a piccy of them smiling like they have slept with a coat hanger in their mouths. Or to see a piccy of them looking like bulldog chewing a wasp. Follow cavs advice here you feel so much better straight away.

[barky2]

Only read thread title.

 

I'll say it again for the millionth time.

 

If you're asking this question then you haven't been hurt enough.

 

You check her fb all the time I'm sure, it's ok I was like that.

 

But.

 

One day I saw something that hurt me to the core.

 

And I blocked and kept it that way.

 

No need to hurt yourself.

 

So to answer your question : only you, not us, will be ready one day, when you're sick of hurting yourself and torturing yourself for no reason.

 

 

 

Barky

[flight E]

If I may add. I didn't block 4 a while but it was torture. I felt blocking shows that I was hurt but men it was hel I almost gave someone may expensive fone in order not to blok ex. Then I tot of it and blocked her. I must say that I now feel comfortable holding my fone now

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

Barky is right... one day u will see something that will devastate u to the core (happened to me too) then u will instantly block... the question is do u want to suffer that to make u do it or quit now and save yourself the heartbreak? x

[AnyaNova]

I know that I am in a minority here, but I don't know that blocking is necessary.

 

IF you have the self-control to stay away from looking while you are healing and only IF you are your ex are not anymore friends on facebook, so you're not constantly seeing stuff on their feed.

 

My ex and I agreed that we wouldn't block each other, but that we would unfriend each other, with the option to change that later in the future. Although, since he has ignored any communication I sent him, I don't see the point in at any time in the future, asking him to be facebook friends again, because I am sure I would just be ignored again.

 

I healed. I'm pretty sure it is possible without blocking given these circumstances.

[bedelgeuse]

I blocked my ex because she kept liking my pics even though she has not spoken to me in about 2 months. As far as I'm concerned she can stay blocked forever, because her likes are nothing more than a meaningless tap on a screen that was screwing with my NC.

[Haydn]

Anya,

 

 

Dont you feel a temptation to look every now and then? I did when i blocked i took away the temptation. If you feel fully healed would you entertain the possibility of being friends again?

 

 

I know that I am in a minority here, but I don't know that blocking is necessary.

 

IF you have the self-control to stay away from looking while you are healing and only IF you are your ex are not anymore friends on facebook, so you're not constantly seeing stuff on their feed.

 

My ex and I agreed that we wouldn't block each other, but that we would unfriend each other, with the option to change that later in the future. Although, since he has ignored any communication I sent him, I don't see the point in at any time in the future, asking him to be facebook friends again, because I am sure I would just be ignored again.

 

I healed. I'm pretty sure it is possible without blocking given these circumstances.

[Simon Phoenix]

I know that I am in a minority here, but I don't know that blocking is necessary.

 

IF you have the self-control to stay away from looking while you are healing and only IF you are your ex are not anymore friends on facebook, so you're not constantly seeing stuff on their feed.

 

My ex and I agreed that we wouldn't block each other, but that we would unfriend each other, with the option to change that later in the future. Although, since he has ignored any communication I sent him, I don't see the point in at any time in the future, asking him to be facebook friends again, because I am sure I would just be ignored again.

 

I healed. I'm pretty sure it is possible without blocking given these circumstances.

 

I actually didn't block my ex either (I felt the potential political headaches that would come from blocking her were worse for my recovery). I blocked her news feed so I didn't get updates, but we had very few mutual friends (five I believe, her sister, her sister's husband (my best friend) and a few of my college friends who she only added because she met them through me and my best friend that she never interacted with). This served the same purpose as blocking without the drama that could have resulted from blocking.

 

It worked for me because I had the discipline not to click on her page (didn't for nearly five months until I felt I was healed), but if I was feeling weak or there were other ways for her to pop up on my page, I would have blocked with the quickness.

 

In general though, if you have to ask, the answer is yes, block.

[Haydn]

What would have been the drama if you blocked?

 

 

I actually didn't block my ex either (I felt the potential political headaches that would come from blocking her were worse for my recovery). I blocked her news feed so I didn't get updates, but we had very few mutual friends (five I believe, her sister, her sister's husband (my best friend) and a few of my college friends who she only added because she met them through me and my best friend that she never interacted with). This served the same purpose as blocking without the drama that could have resulted from blocking.

 

It worked for me because I had the discipline not to click on her page (didn't for nearly five months until I felt I was healed), but if I was feeling weak or there were other ways for her to pop up on my page, I would have blocked with the quickness.

 

In general though, if you have to ask, the answer is yes, block.

[Simon Phoenix]

What would have been the drama if you blocked?

 

She's the sister-in-law of my best friend. Last thing I needed was for her sister to get pissed at me and make things awkward with me or, worse yet, put my best friend in a position where he is pulled between his best friend (me) and his wife's family. Did not want to have any strain in my relationship with my friend or put him in a weird spot just because things didn't work out between me and his sister-in-law. If my strategy didn't work and I was still getting updates or if I couldn't help from clicking on her page I would have blocked and dealt with the other consequences, but it seemed unnecessary to possibly strain or endanger a longer relationship with my friend due to this. It might not have done anything, but I didn't want to take that risk.

 

Definitely glad I chose that plan of attack -- made for the least amount of overall awkwardness possible for all parties.

[Sososad]

Is ignoring not indifference.

I don't snoop I've learned the hard way

In past breakups..

We are not friends either as I said we've just

A few mutuals !!