Ignoring her!!! Will it drive her crazy or drive her away??

[JohnnyLoverBoy]

Ignoring calls, emails, text, social media

 

It's like you don't exist at all..

 

Will it drive her crazy or drive her away??

 

Discuss guys

[headinthecloud]

NC is not a game. It's to heal yourself. Like you, your ex should no longer exist in your mind. All is in the past. Move forward and create a great future for yourself.

[d0nnivain]

It might drive her crazy. It might drive her away. However, it is not an effective technique to get her back. Trying to apply NC to get somebody back is the worst form of game playing.

[Sugarkane]

I've always gone NC even years ago before I even knew what it was. I've always acted sane and gone NC after a breakup. It didn't bring the ex back though.

[JohnnyLoverBoy]

All people here suggest to ignore the ex.. Isn't that playing a game too?

 

Also what if you are already healed? Is it ok to respond to an ex?

[cavalier99]

It wont drive her crazy because she wanted out ...so it will be a relief not to have to talk to you. And how will it drive her away?? She already left. Cav

[JohnnyLoverBoy]

What if the guy decide to ask for a break because of the girl is being distance and cold and when you ask her she doesn't wanna go on anymore and after weeks of no contact she is messaging you again

 

Is it the same thing? Technically I ask for break then she decided not go on anymore. And now she message twice now. Every after 3 weeks.

 

And I want her back

[cavalier99]

What if the guy decide to ask for a break because of the girl is being distance and cold and when you ask her she doesn't wanna go on anymore and after weeks of no contact she is messaging you again

 

Is it the same thing? Technically I ask for break then she decided not go on anymore. And now she message twice now. Every after 3 weeks.

 

And I want her back

 

Well if she said that she doesnt want to go on ..seems pretty definitive to me.

 

But you could call her up like right now and ask if she wants to give it another go and most likey get rejected again. Then youll defintly know and can start NC for real. Cav

[JohnnyLoverBoy]

No I won't do that.. I never initiated contact with her..

 

But she already contacted me twice. I dont know why?.. I actually just wanted to be straight and ask her when she contacts again what does she really want. Its kinda though for me when I ignore her message cause she is a nice person..

 

we been no contact for 1 month and half now

 

Well if she said that she doesnt want to go on ..seems pretty definitive to me.

 

But you could call her up like right now and ask if she wants to give it another go and most likey get rejected again. Then youll defintly know and can start NC for real. Cav

[Never Again]

Oh good, so you're just going to play games with her. Nice.

 

Call her and ask her to try again. If she says no, you can go NC properly and find someone who does want to be with you.

 

Alternatively, you just keep healing and moving on, and the next time she contacts you, tell her:

 

"I don't think of you as just a friend and you need to respect that. Please don't contact me unless you want to try again."

 

And then you REALLY make an attempt to move on.

 

No matter what you do, stop concerning yourself with how it affects her. She certainly doesn't care how she's affecting you.

 

There's no driving away someone that's already gone - but you are choosing to wallow and wait. You're going to end up in a world of pain if you keep it up.

[JohnnyLoverBoy]

Who said I am playing games with her? As I said on the post. I'm the one asked for the break and she doesn't want to go on anymore after the break.. And now she is contacting me and im ignoring her.

 

I accepted and respect that she doesn't wanna go on anymore so I moved on. I am ignoring her because she might just wanna be friends and I cant give that and I dont know what her intention is messaging me.

 

and I am just gonna respond if she wants to reconcile.. All I am asking is if ignoring her will drive her away since I want her back.. The situation is abit confusing..

 

Oh good, so you're just going to play games with her. Nice.

 

Call her and ask her to try again. If she says no, you can go NC properly and find someone who does want to be with you.

[JohnnyLoverBoy]

Thanks! That's what I wanted to tell her but I dont know if its the right thing to do

 

Alternatively, you just keep healing and moving on, and the next time she contacts you, tell her:

 

"I don't think of you as just a friend and you need to respect that. Please don't contact me unless you want to try again."

 

And then you REALLY make an attempt to move on.

 

No matter what you do, stop concerning yourself with how it affects her. She certainly doesn't care how she's affecting you.

 

There's no driving away someone that's already gone - but you are choosing to wallow and wait. You're going to end up in a world of pain if you keep it up.

[Never Again]

Who said I am playing games with her? As I said on the post. I'm the one asked for the break and she doesn't want to go on anymore after the break.. And now she is contacting me and im ignoring her.

 

I accepted and respect that she doesn't wanna go on anymore so I moved on. I am ignoring her because she might just wanna be friends and I cant give that and I dont know what her intention is messaging me.

 

and I am just gonna respond if she wants to reconcile.. All I am asking is if ignoring her will drive her away since I want her back.. The situation is abit confusing..

 

You may not realize it, but you're playing games. Maybe not with her, but with yourself.

 

The fact that you want her back means that you haven't really moved on - the fact that you're wondering if NC will drive her away or bring her back means that you haven't fully accepted the situation.

 

Yes, things can be confusing, but I'll let you in on some good insight: if she wanted you back, she'd let you know. There wouldn't be any ambiguity or confusion. The fact that she's tossing you breadcrumbs and testing the waters means that she's not really interested. Keep your silence and actually move on.

 

If she ever wants to try again, it'll only be only after you've stopped wanting her.

[Never Again]

Thanks! That's what I wanted to tell her but I dont know if its the right thing to do

 

It's the only thing you can do.

 

To paraphrase Swingers:

 

You can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, anything you so will only make her NOT want to come back.

[MrBossMan]

You're being immature.

[elbe]

It only gets their attention if they are really concerned about getting your approval i.e. she likes you. If she dumped you don't expect it to win you brownie points.

[chris21422]

I suggest you talk to her and try one last time and just fully move on if she doesn't want to try again.. You ask for a break that is your fault. She is contacting you now for a lot of reasons.

[JohnnyLoverBoy]

Thank you for your insight..

 

She might got really hurt when I ask for a break that's why she didn't wanna go on anymore.

 

Truth is I mess it up. Instead of talking to her I did a stupid thing asking for a break..

 

Now we broken up and she is contacting me maybe because she might wanna try again or maybe she just wanna be friends..

 

And I don't think she is the person where she is just gonna go and say "Let's try again" after someone just ask for a break and ignored her.

 

ahh well I don't really know.. maybe were not just meant to be.. I hope I makes sense.. It's really hard to explain my situation.

 

 

 

You may not realize it, but you're playing games. Maybe not with her, but with yourself.

The fact that you want her back means that you haven't really moved on - the fact that you're wondering if NC will drive her away or bring her back means that you haven't fully accepted the situation.

Yes, things can be confusing, but I'll let you in on some good insight: if she wanted you back, she'd let you know. There wouldn't be any ambiguity or confusion. The fact that she's tossing you breadcrumbs and testing the waters means that she's not really interested. Keep your silence and actually move on.

If she ever wants to try again, it'll only be only after you've stopped wanting her.

[d0nnivain]

Johnny --

 

She is playing games. Alas because she is acting like a child your immature strategy may work with her. She only wants you when she thinks you don't want her. Yours is an unhealthy relationship. If you like roller coasters & merry go rounds go to an amusement park.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

Ignoring calls, emails, text, social media

 

It's like you don't exist at all..

 

Will it drive her crazy or drive her away??

 

Discuss guys

 

If you broke up with her, it would drive her away.

If she broke up with you, it would make her attempts more brutal and more consistent.

 

But in the end, once she gets what she wants (you giving in) she will retreat back into her own little world without you.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

And yes, ignoring your ex (whether a ploy or not) will make them realize they are better off without you or they want you back.

 

Not having someone in your life, is a huge brutal wake up call. It's when you find out if you really love them or not. Time away from each other will determine deep real feelings. And that can benefit either party of the breakup.

 

Some use it as a game and I've seen it work on many, but that was only because their ex took them for granted and realized what they lost.

 

If your ex really is over you and has moved on, no amount of contact or no contact will ever change that.

 

We will find out either way what's meant to be.

[purplesoccer34]

If you are currently in a relationship with her, don't do it. If she actually likes you, then yes, it will drive her crazy. My ex would do this to me whenever he was upset about something and it drove me insane. I wouldn't even know that something was wrong until I realized he was ignoring me. And he wouldn't tell me what was bothering him. It was not a nice thing to do. If something is bothering you, then just straight up tell her, and you guys will work something out.

 

If you are already broken up, then the best thing is to go NC. Yeah, it may drive her crazy for the first week or first several weeks, but the purpose of going NC is so you both can heal.

[Simon Phoenix]

Every time I've gone NC (even before I knew what NC was) they've come back in some way except for two -- one in college who I begged and pleaded with constantly until I found out she was currently cheating and my current ex, who I broke NC with after I had healed and was friendly with until I realize she had some unresolved issues that she had to take care of. However, none of them searched me out per se during the NC to break it. All of them came back into my life randomly by chance and all of them had extremely positive reactions to me because time healed whatever wounds were created by the break. So yes, NC can be beneficial with how that person perceives you, but it won't necessarily make them want to chase you. It might make them open to you if you happen to randomly show up in their lives again, but that's not something you should plan on doing.

[ks0985]

Every time I've gone NC (even before I knew what NC was) they've come back in some way except for two -- one in college who I begged and pleaded with constantly until I found out she was currently cheating and my current ex, who I broke NC with after I had healed and was friendly with until I realize she had some unresolved issues that she had to take care of. However, none of them searched me out per se during the NC to break it. All of them came back into my life randomly by chance and all of them had extremely positive reactions to me because time healed whatever wounds were created by the break. So yes, NC can be beneficial with how that person perceives you, but it won't necessarily make them want to chase you. It might make them open to you if you happen to randomly show up in their lives again, but that's not something you should plan on doing.

 

 

Solid post, i agree if they reach out to you why play games? At that stage in the game might as well just be real with each other. Funny tho if you play your cards right and go NC right after the breakup like Simon said they always do come back in some way.