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Shocking break up caused by drunken fight


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So ill try to explain how this went down the best I can. Maybe I should start off with some background info? My ex and I were together for about 2 years. We lived together, had no major issues and were best friends. A month ago we went out for scorpion bowls with some friends. I never drink. But I decided hey why not? I was having a bad week. It was the year anniversary of my dads death and I needed to cheer up a bit. Well, we got drunk. My phone died and I asked to borrow his. He simply said no were out with our friends you don't need it. Stupid drunk me got mad at this and said okay ill walk home then. (We lived downtown near the Chinese place). So I leave, charge my phone.. No calls from him. I got mad he didn't check to see if I made it home. So I wait for him to come back. This is when it all becomes a blur.

 

Harsh words were said, objects were thrown.. We're both at fault. We provoked each other. All drunken of coarse. We ended the night in bed totally normal spooning each other to sleep. Next morning? He told me to move out. I was in complete shock. But I listened. I packed most of my things and left. We didn't talk for a few days then he texted me saying this is my chance to "straighten out". Okay.. so we continued talking. Mostly him saying how he misses me, he can't eat can't sleep. Depressed by our terrible fight. Then out of no where we went nc. He then dropped the rest of my things off... I came home to him hugging my mother. Didn't even look at me. Since then we texted a few times. How this is so hard for him. He never wanted this ect.

 

2 years thrown away over a drunk fight? Really? Granted it did happen infront of his friends but they have no reason to judge. It's been almost 3 weeks of nc and I'm still in shock. Does anyone else think ending a long relationship over a drunk fight is ridiculous? Seems like our whole relationship was a waste.

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He didn't want to take a chance you'd see something on his phone (that shouldn't be there), that's why he went all psycho on you. He had something to hid.

 

That is also why it was so easy for him to throw you out. He was conflicted between you and ________ (we probably won't ever know the answer to that.

 

His unpredictable behavior is problematic at the least, and some would say abusive. In my opinion, he could be a ticking time bomb - and you never know when he's gonna lose it. That is totally uncool.

 

Now he wants you back with some macho conditions that you "straighten yourself up." then he's trying to gain the sympathies of your Mom when you walk in the door? Hugging her? After he kicks you out of the home? Hon, you gotta tell this guy to shove it. Sweetheat, he has some sort of personality or mental disorder that you don't need share. This was your big "Red Flag" wake up call. Yas

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He does have a temper. He's punched holes in our wall before. And he even once pushed me down on our bed because I was acting "bratty". What I do remember is him screaming at me calling me the c word.. And that's when I threw my keys. Didn't try to aim anywhere but they did hit him. Then he proceeded to yell at me saying what he wished he could do if he wouldn't be set to prison. He was very drunk.

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Im very tired, so forgive me if im wrong..

So it was your father's anniversary, you were unhappy, he knew that, but still refused to let you use his phone??? Very wierd

 

And no, i dont think a 2 year relationship is over over 1 drunken fight....

 

Maybe he wanted a reason to end it, and this happened at just the right time?

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Im very tired, so forgive me if im wrong..

So it was your father's anniversary, you were unhappy, he knew that, but still refused to let you use his phone??? Very wierd

 

And no, i dont think a 2 year relationship is over over 1 drunken fight....

 

Maybe he wanted a reason to end it, and this happened at just the right time?

 

He always complains I'm on my phone too much. But his friends were playing pool and I was getting bored. We were fine before this fight. I actually almost ended it with him a month ago because I felt neglected and he cried saying he never wanted to lose me. I think he's embarrassed it happened infront of his friends.

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headinthecloud

He clearly doesn't love you. Everything else doesn't matter. You deserve someone who respects and loves you for you. He doesn't, let him go. Go NC and work on yourself. It's hard, but you'll get through this. In 6mos you'll be a different person.

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You might have dodged this bullet early on rather than later. I once had a girl try to fist fight me in front of literally all of my friends. We still stayed together for a long time. My friends never brought it up again.

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Thanks everyone. I've been a mess blaming this all on me because I threw my my keys. But he was in the wrong too and its good to hear that from others.

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I've had bad breakups in the past but nothing this bad. Neither of us saw it coming. None of our friends. Family, nobody. We were doing good. But a month ago we were both pretty drunk and lost it on each other. Absolutely lost it. Harsh words were said. Things were thrown. Damaged. Loud screaming. Then we both stopped, looked at each other and realized wow that really happened? I've had built up aggression ill admit it. I lost my dad to als a year ago and never properly grieved. He has a temper but nothing I can't deal with. After our nightmare fight we crawled into bed and cuddled ourselves to sleep. Next morning I moved out. Despite the pain we were going to work things out. Until people started talking about our fight and it was humiliating.

 

We're both at fault. We both hurt each other deeply. But we both know each other inside and out. Yet were apart because we know the fight was bad. Once his mom heard about it that's when we went nc. We're both depressed, not eating or sleeping good but were sticking with this out of shame. Unfortunately this happened infront of people but if it didn't we would still be together. Our love was so strong. He was the one who picked me up off the hospice floor a year ago when my dad finally wanted to stop fighting. He's my rock. I was his rock too.

 

I know time apart to let things cool is for the best. But I cannot stand this constant knot in my stomach. I've lost 15 pounds in a month (I'm down to 109). Has anyone else experienced this? We're humiliated and because of that we can't be together because "we're suppose to end it" after a fight like that.

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We're both depressed, not eating or sleeping good but were sticking with this out of shame.

 

You are kind of speaking for him here, how can you be sure he feels the same way you do? You broke up after his mom found out - did she say something to him?

 

Give him some space for a while - if it was just the one fight the pushed you two apart you will both need to find your way back together independently. Nothing you can say or do will change that.

 

Time to distract yourself and forget about attempting to interfere. Give this some time. If he comes back after a while trying to work things out then you can make an educated decision.

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You are kind of speaking for him here, how can you be sure he feels the same way you do? You broke up after his mom found out - did she say something to him?

 

Give him some space for a while - if it was just the one fight the pushed you two apart you will both need to find your way back together independently. Nothing you can say or do will change that.

 

Time to distract yourself and forget about attempting to interfere. Give this some time. If he comes back after a while trying to work things out then you can make an educated decision.

 

We were still in contact a week after and that's all he would tell me. His mom was upset we didn't tell her about the fight

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You have to talk to him. One month apart seems like enough time to have things settle down.

 

You had a lot going on.

 

You might be able to put this back together but depending on exactly what happened & how physical it got, he may be thinking, this happened once, it could happen again & he doesn't want that.

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You have to talk to him. One month apart seems like enough time to have things settle down.

 

You had a lot going on.

 

You might be able to put this back together but depending on exactly what happened & how physical it got, he may be thinking, this happened once, it could happen again & he doesn't want that.

 

I completely blacked out. I think it was the combination of anger and a nasty scorpion bowl. The only physical thing that happened on my part was I tossed my keys. Had no specific aim but they did leave a cut on his cheek. After that I remember freezing and thinking "wtf just happened". All happened so fast and so drunk. Oh ya forgot to mention I never drink.

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Uhm.. Let me just go ahead and say it: This happened and you break up over it. That sounds... weird, immature. Providing it only happened once that is.

 

 

Wether it's because how you both feel or because what are people are saying about it, doesn't matter. Talk it over and be done with it. What other people say or think should not determine the way you live and with whom.

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Uhm.. Let me just go ahead and say it: This happened and you break up over it. That sounds... weird, immature. Providing it only happened once that is.

 

 

Wether it's because how you both feel or because what are people are saying about it, doesn't matter. Talk it over and be done with it. What other people say or think should not determine the way you live and with whom.

 

I completely agree. It's just his friends actually involved themselves in our fight. Most immature bunch of 25-30 year olds ever. He's the only one who had a stable relationship in his group of friends. Then his friends told his sister, who told his mom and that's when we got exhausted by it. I feel like an abusive monster when in reality I'm the most laid back girl who drank too much while too emotional over something pretty drastic. Thanks for your reply.

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