Marilyn86 Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 Ok this might be a little long but I need some honest opinions...So I met this guy through a mutual friend and I have to add we live 2 hours from each other, we instantly clicked on every level talked every single night and all day for hours on end i met both his parents multiple times and also his daughter right away, spent alot of weekends at his house and he wanted to meet my parents and family as well. He started getting a little distant so I asked him what was up, he said that the distance was worrisome for him and that he started to have strong feelings for me and he started to clam up. This was about a month and a half in, he told me that he was scare of getting hurt again and that he also didn't want to hurt me. After that we went back to normal for a bit and then he got a little distant again and again I asked him if he was okay and he said he was sorry but his feelings were strong and that scared him. So in total we were together for 3 months... Please don't give me negative feedback I understand it was only 3 months but I have never had a connection like this with someone even after 3 years of dating someone! Well he told our mutual friend that he was so happy and that he had never met anyone like me before and had never felt this way about anyone and that I was the realiest person he had ever met... Well long story short I dunno what happened after the last night I spent at his house we were good for about a week and then he texts were less and less but he would randomly message me. I started to back off because I didn't want to seem overly needy and questioning him about where we stand because I didn't want to scare him away after already asking him a couple times. I think he thought I was blowing him off and I wish I could go back and change some of the last conversations we had because now I feel as though he thought I wasn't interested or was in it just for the sex but i really just wanted him to show me that he really wanted me in a way I guess and I didn't want to pressure him...the contact quickly went from everyday to every couple of days to every couple of weeks then he started not responding in the middle of conversations... I let it be after a couple of attempts that was almost 2 months ago Well I look on good old Facebook and he is in a relationship with a girl that just turned 20 And lives right there?!?!?We are both 27 and he has a daughter, I know what it all looks like but I am severely heart broken here so I would prefer no nasty comments being said to me. But really a 20 year old? Now I am not trying to sound conceited but I have a good head on my shoulders, good career and what not I am just confused, did he ever even care ??? I think that's what hurts the most I know it's wrong but I want him back what are the chances?!? is it even possible I really thought and everyone else did too that it was a deep connection am I just stupid to believe this?? Please give me some advice I am literally dying here I hate seeing their pictures together when he is flaunting it everywhere and didn't with us... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marilyn86 Posted November 14, 2013 Author Share Posted November 14, 2013 Do I try and contact him and tell him how this makes me feel or just let go for now? They are clearly happy... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marilyn86 Posted November 14, 2013 Author Share Posted November 14, 2013 I need some kind of insight please... Link to post Share on other sites
forgetmenot75 Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 Hey there. I think your story is really messy. He said he had strong feelings for you, then pulled away because he was scared---EXCUSES He was worried about the distance---EXCUSES You went cold on him and he didn't even care---DON'T YOU SEE HE WAS ALREADY NOT INTERESTED? He's in a relationship with someone else, he is a liar, a player, and a douchebag. Why you'd want to have him back? C'mon, this is nonsense. Go no contact immediately and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marilyn86 Posted November 14, 2013 Author Share Posted November 14, 2013 I guess in the back of my mind I do realize that a little bit it just sucks thinking that he didn't care at all I really thought we had a good connection... Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 I would let him go. As painful as it may be to hear, he already let you go. Retain your dignity and as forgetmenot75 recommended, go strict no contact. Link to post Share on other sites
2fargone Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 I guess in the back of my mind I do realize that a little bit it just sucks thinking that he didn't care at all I really thought we had a good connection... He might care. But it might be easier to think he doesn't. I don't think it's all excuses, we're just not all wired the same. My ex basicly said the same. The way I know her, I believe her. All of it. It doesn't change anything though, and then it's time to make my own decisions. Leave him be. Don't wait. If anything positive happens afterwards you'll be surprised instead of still hanging on to what you had. Because that will turn into disaster.... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 I'm sorry you got hurt. It sucks when you feel this connection & the other person lets you down. For whatever reason the distance was a huge issue for him. I don't think 2 hours is that big of a deal but apparently it was more effort than he was willing to give. You will probably never know why he did what he did. I'm not saying that he didn't care at the times you were in contact. I am saying he didn't care enough to put in the effort. You need to focus now on getting over him & you won't be able to do that while looking at his FB page & seeing pictures of them. Un-friend him & move forward. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marilyn86 Posted November 15, 2013 Author Share Posted November 15, 2013 I feel so awful I feel like it's my fault.... Maybe if I was patient it could of worked out, I can't believe a guy I was seeing for that long of a period had that kind of effect on me I hate it, is it so bad that I want him to regret it? Lol I know we could have been good together....and a 20 year old is a huge shock to me I just keep thinking that what does she have that I didn't? thanks for all the support... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 It wasn't your fault. It had little to do with you. This was all on him. Link to post Share on other sites
WiseOwl Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Why would you want an ********* like this in your life anyway. Don't contact him, he's a loser. Move on and move up! Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I feel so awful I feel like it's my fault.... Maybe if I was patient it could of worked out, I can't believe a guy I was seeing for that long of a period had that kind of effect on me I hate it, is it so bad that I want him to regret it? Lol I know we could have been good together....and a 20 year old is a huge shock to me I just keep thinking that what does she have that I didn't? thanks for all the support... Does her age really matter? If anything, she'll get bored w/his older butt and kick him to the curb. You seem to be stuck with the "did he even care" question which is normal. I'm sure he did at one point but the feeling clearly faded and he met someone closer and moved a different direction. Be glad you were only invested off/on for three months. Like you said, you have a lot going for you. Move on, meet someone else who'll appreciate you for you. Go strict NO CONTACT, delete his info, don't FB stalk him and I'll be you hear from him again. Hopefully, you'll be in another relationship then and won't give a hoot that he contacted you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marilyn86 Posted November 17, 2013 Author Share Posted November 17, 2013 I am really hoping this is the case I'm having a hard time deleting him from Facebook Link to post Share on other sites
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