ToBeTrue Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Hi, I'll try to make this as brief as possible.... Coming up to 8 wks after BU, NC 3 wks until today. In the whole time we were together I supported my ex in every way imaginable he was constantly out of work, probably spent more time out of work than in it. He smoked ALOT of weed, which put an extreme financial burden on our RS not to mention the emotional toll of living with someone who is inert all of the time. After the BU I moved out of our home as I couldn't bare being there without him. As he was staying with a friend but had found a room to rent he asked if he could stay at the flat until his room became available as I wasn't living there. Of course I agreed, why wouldn't i? My default mode was to look after him. After he had moved in to his new place he still had a load of his stuff at the flat, I kept asking him to remove it before I got my stuff out and despite telling me he'd done this, on moving day I found all this stuff still there, clothes, DVDs, books, CDs. He managed to take very little just the presents I'd bought him and some clothes, oh and the expensive 3d TV that he hadn't paid a penny towards!! I offered him deadline in order to clear everything out, but made it very clear everything left there on this date would be taken to the tip, his response to this was 'I don't have a car so can't do a tip run, I'm sure you'll manage'. So that's exactly what I did, tipped the lot of it!! Managed to get the 40inch TV out thought didn't he? I'm assuming he strapped it to his back and walked to 3 miles to his new place like the victim he's constantly made himself out to be!! The irony of this is obviously lost on him. The reason he didn't have a car was because he'd written his car off 3 days after the BU. Now this car was on a multi car policy I'd sorted out for the both of us, so I get a letter today telling me I owe nearly £600 to pay off his part of the policy, now I thought that as the certificate for the car is in his name then he would be liable, turns out that as I am the policy administrator I'm liable for all payments. So I took a copy of the letter and emailed it to him, telling him to call them and settle the balance, I told him I wanted an assurance from him that he would be taking responsibility for this. I have heard absolutely nothing from him, I sent a text straight after the mail basically telling him I'd sent a copy of the letter via mail and to get it sorted, which he read. So I guess I'll have to pay this, it seriously sucks ar$e as I'm also in 13k of debt owing to his long periods of unemployment and chronic weed smoking, which he is well aware of. I had savings, a clear credit card and a small overdraft I never went in to before I met him and now look where I am. He would spend £40 upwards on weed every week, over 6yrs that totals approx 12.5k, I guess it's no coincidence that I have that much debt. He left me, I wanted to work things out and through all this he's acted like he was the one who was dumped, everything has been about him, how he's feeling, how he's struggling blah, blah fu*king blah!! Never once has he asked how I'm doing. I know I'm better off without him, as much as I may miss him and still love the good things about him. Don't get me wrong, this post doesn't paint him in a good light, but there was a lot of good about him. I really don't recognise what he has turned in to. Should I push him further to pay this, let him know it's not acceptable just to shy away from it? Or shall I just add this £600 to everything else, deal with it myself and continue NC. I feel that as this happened after our BU he really should bare the brunt and manage this himself, he wanted out, he didn't want to rely on my anymore, so why should he expect to rely on me for this? Link to post Share on other sites
Salvatore85 Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 Why in the hell would you want to work things out with this dude? Holy crap you dodged a bullet! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ToBeTrue Posted October 31, 2013 Author Share Posted October 31, 2013 Why in the hell would you want to work things out with this dude? Holy crap you dodged a bullet! When we initially broke up I desperately wanted to work things out, nearly 8 wks down the road and 6 wks of therapy I'm beggining to see for myself that I dodged a bullet! It still hurts though and I can't just switch off my feelings for him as hard as I try. But my god I'm ANGRY!! And this thing with the car insurance has just tipped me over the edge, how dare he expect me to sort this out for him on top of everything else, he doesn't want me but is more than happy to leave me to sort out his ****, just like I always did. This also makes me angry at myself for ever doing it in the first place Link to post Share on other sites
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