Stuck stuck stuck

[Haydn]

I woke up at 3 in the morning with a knot trying to make balloon animals out of my stomach. I missed her so much and i all i wanted to do was reach out. Its been 3 months and i have not spoken to her. I re-read the posts on this forum about NC and then read my posts and realised that giving advice is good but can i take advice? I typed a message and said. `I just want to talk can you listen for 5 minutes?` I saved the message and then cried and cried. I want this feeling to go. I am going out and doing things but she has invaded my life. I am currently in London and she is in Budapest so i know its good i wont run into her. I have deleted the message. I know what you guys say about NC and I DO AGREE. But why is it getting harder and harder. I know logically she does not care and that should tell me everything. But to miss her like this is crippling my chances with another woman. I am not in a relationship but i have met someone but i cannot imagine giving her what i gave my ex. Stuck stuck.

 

Time for another Depeche Mode song.

[h0000]

yeh i get those urges. want to talk to him so much and that. but you break NC it will go from urge to devastation.

[Mcscooter]

It's tough, but keep your head up. Your doing good if you kept up for 3 months. Just focus on cutting her from your life. When you think about her stop immediately. Don't even think about the things you disliked or like about your ex. Just think something else until it goes away. It's hard but your going have to be strong. Before you forge a sword you put it through fire.

[crazy1234]

I woke up at 3 in the morning with a knot trying to make balloon animals out of my stomach. I missed her so much and i all i wanted to do was reach out. Its been 3 months and i have not spoken to her. I re-read the posts on this forum about NC and then read my posts and realised that giving advice is good but can i take advice? I typed a message and said. `I just want to talk can you listen for 5 minutes?` I saved the message and then cried and cried. I want this feeling to go. I am going out and doing things but she has invaded my life. I am currently in London and she is in Budapest so i know its good i wont run into her. I have deleted the message. I know what you guys say about NC and I DO AGREE. But why is it getting harder and harder. I know logically she does not care and that should tell me everything. But to miss her like this is crippling my chances with another woman. I am not in a relationship but i have met someone but i cannot imagine giving her what i gave my ex. Stuck stuck.

 

Time for another Depeche Mode song.

Its slowly going to be okay after some point.You will feel pain until comes a time when you will hit the ground and cant feel it anymore.That is the point of you nnew beginning and healing process.Hang in there till then and you will soon feel okay.I know this pain.

[Vinsanity1307]

Hey man I am a little over 3 months as well...I have not got a full nights sleep since the BU 3 months ago and am going through the exact same thing. My therapist advised to write down what your thinking when you wake up ...It sometimes helps sometimes does not...i am right there with you bud..

[sambo77]

Sorry you're suffering buddy. I have written dozens of messages at various times when I've been thinking about her. They are saved on my phone's notes. You still love her and you want her back so badly...simple.

 

I am not an advocate of the "you gotta just stop thinking about her" school of thought. You are thinking about her because she was the other half of a deep and meaningful attachment you shared. One that gave you a huge amount of psychological nourishment. Your brain feels the loss of this and wants you to know what it NEEDS to restore your psychological state to normal...her. So it plagues you with heavy emotion, thoughts and memories of what you've lost (and still need), and desires to get her back. It ain't gonna stop doing that just because you try to think about a sunset every time she pops into your head.

 

I say you need to feel it. You love her. You want her. You're devastated. You're grieving. You feel abandoned. You feel afraid she'll move on. You feel jealous. You feel lost. You feel lonely. You don't know where you're going with your life any longer. You've lost meaning. Everything seems pointless. Hope is gone. You don't see how life can be worth it without the love you had to cushion you. It all seems so senseless and unkind.

 

Feel those things. They are your reality right now. And they are showing you WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW...in a difficult place. But only when you familiarise yourself with that difficult place can you become familiar enough with it to actually use it as the starting point for the next part of your journey. Where you go next requires you to calmly and carefully take in the landscape that you are currently in...that'll take as long as it takes. And when you've taken it all in and surveyed your current position (even if it's not the place you'd have chosen to start from)...you'll head in the direction you feel is best for you.

 

You don't need another relationship right now Haydn. That's fear trying to take your attention away from the abyss you're looking into...trying to quickly replace your ex's void with something that remotely resembles what you had with her. That won't help you carefully take in your current position...it'll mean you quickly run past it without any real thought of where next...it'll hustle you into the next step so that you don't have to face this. It doesn't feel right because you aren't ready yet...you know that.

 

So...you're stuck...and we are here to listen to how that feels for you. I'm stuck with you.

[Fufu]

I woke up at 3 in the morning with a knot trying to make balloon animals out of my stomach. I missed her so much and i all i wanted to do was reach out. Its been 3 months and i have not spoken to her. I re-read the posts on this forum about NC and then read my posts and realised that giving advice is good but can i take advice? I typed a message and said. `I just want to talk can you listen for 5 minutes?` I saved the message and then cried and cried. I want this feeling to go. I am going out and doing things but she has invaded my life. I am currently in London and she is in Budapest so i know its good i wont run into her. I have deleted the message. I know what you guys say about NC and I DO AGREE. But why is it getting harder and harder. I know logically she does not care and that should tell me everything. But to miss her like this is crippling my chances with another woman. I am not in a relationship but i have met someone but i cannot imagine giving her what i gave my ex. Stuck stuck.

 

Time for another Depeche Mode song.

 

 

3 months!!! DON'T GIVE UP!

 

True story: I was at 3 months and I broke NC and I contacted my ex (I sent an email, he replied me and then we talked a little but after that it was nothing more and I was back to square one..crushed again)

 

Don't go through what I did, not worth it at all.

 

Although you had met someone new, just take it slow and easy, get to know this person first, you don't have to rush into a new relationship. By the time when you ready, it will just flow naturally.