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I caught her looking at me, she caught me looking at her


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Women bring the hardest guys to falter

 

I've been sucked in to a post breakup dilemma. The dilemma, I can't shake the guilt and of course the feelings I have for her, I miss her and I'm aware why. As the one who broke up with her I deserve my period of suffering, but it's pushing me to the ground like a strong wind. My conscious is kicking my ass and I'm having trouble coping with the aftermath. Not to mention the dreaming!

 

I broke it off with her five weeks ago. The first three weeks I was fine, one day into the fourth week, my emotions break free like water over a dam, when I saw her with a new guy. Of course jealousy and loneliness and territorial instinct all play a role, but they lead to the road of love. Deep down I care for this woman, caring in a way that does everything to protect her individuality and freedom, recognizes her feelings and weaknesses, what she does in certain situations and how she reacts to certain things. Out of desperation I reached out to her, trying to justify myself and "explain" with no real idea of what I wanted to achieve. The same day I deleted my friendship on fb with her, with great regret and apology but with the intention of trying to stay out of her way, and push myself toward the road of healing. Yes I admit, I am at a state of weakness where I don't want to risk pushing her even further away. I then explained, that it is my turn to suffer, acknowledge and repair for the future, and would be greatfull, if she really wanted to be apart of my life in the future. She said yes and thank you for being you (saying this four days after she saw my message with the separation of her account). Two days after her response I turn around and catch her looking away at me and walking away, two days later I do the same to her. We seem to be communicating on one level more than during our relationship. I don't know anymore

 

I need a woman's advice, thx

Edited by Lederhosen
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