eric85 Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Hey all Im pretty much desperate for answers to this I have been driving myself crazy. I have been with my fiancee 4yrs. We have a daughter and I have also raised a step daughter with her. There has been issues of her cheating in the past but I gave another chance as I cheated also without her knowing but that was the beginning. Anyhow she was going to rehab for thirty days and the day before leaving we got in a fight and I told her I had had enough. Well she texted that night begging for another chance saying we were soul mates etc. Once she got to rehab she became very distant. Now I understand while there she is worried about herself but this was very distant. We got in an argument and I stopped hearing from her completely. I finally called and apologized and told her how much I missed her. She acted very shady so I asked is this not what she wants anymore and she said she didn't know. Wtf how do you not know? We are engaged? I asked if it was someone else cause I figured so but she says no. Should I just give space n wait it out or move on? I love her to death and don't want to lose her. Link to post Share on other sites
verysad3 Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 You replied to my post and I am appreciative of that. As far as your situation, I have to say that 4 years is a long time to just give up on what you guys had. I mean that on both your parts. Its sounds to me like there has been a lot going on in both your lives and right now and the arguments seem to be clouding what is important to you both. I'm sure she is just confused, like I said 4 years and being engaged..that's not something you just throw away. In my opinion just give it time and I'm sure she will come around and things will be alright. As you stated you love her and don't want to lose her..I'm sure she feels the same way about you. Just give it space and time. I think I could've had my girl back in my arms by now had I been patient...but I think there's still hope for you guys to work things out.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author eric85 Posted October 5, 2013 Author Share Posted October 5, 2013 I wish you were right but unfortunately I think I lost her. I had to break the NC today because our daughter is very sick so I called to speak to her about that which ultimately lead to me asking why she just decided to completely cut me off. I honestly believe her mom plays a big role in her decision. Her mom feels she should get out on her own for a while and experience life since she hasn't ever had to do that.I have a lot of respect for her mother but this pisses me off because we arent just some 1 month cpl testing the waters we have children and planned on marrying each other. Basically long story short, she was put on anxiety medicine a while back which she began abusing and decided to seek help for this issue. The day before she left we had an argument which resulted in her going to stay at her mothers. The next morning before she left she had wrote me a long message on fb saying how much she loved me and had faith in us and believed we were soul mates and would do anything to continue this relationship. The letter was perfect, it was everything I needed to hear from her to let me know she still had the same feelings as me. Then once she got there I felt a huge distance come between us. We would go days at a time and not talk which resulted in me getting upset and starting an arguement when really I should have realized she was just focusing on herself. Anyway, after that she stopped calling completeley. Like I said we finally spoke tonight due to my daughter and that when I asked if we were done. She told me she didnt know what she wanted and nothing makes her happy anymore. Basically she was saying everything completeley opposite to the letter she wrote the day she was leaving. I am just so confused on what could have changed that drastic so quick?i asked if she wanted me to move on with my life and she said yes right now she doesn't want to be with me. Link to post Share on other sites
verysad3 Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 I'm really sorry to hear that. As you have seen on my post, I am in a situation where I believe that I have finally completely lost my ex too. Although, as much as that pains me..I was not engaged to my ex..so my heart really goes out to you. Its very hard in these situations especially when you know in your heart there was so much love to still be shared between you two. I was told that in times like these...as hard as it may be..you have to try and stay positive. It sounds to me that she has not completely let whatever is going through her mind settle and feels that right now she would rather be cautious with what she decides to do instead of making a decision and regretting it later. You said you two have a kid together..that means communication and contact is inevitable and in time once she has had a chance to start thinking clearly and not emotionaly...then maybe you to can talk again about what your future holds. As I said in my other reply..time is what you need let happen. They say time heals all wounds..whether that's for you two to realize that you both do truly want to work things out..or worst case scenario..you figure out that's it was for the best. I know how hard it is..because I'm in the same boat..but my ex never gave me the actual ( you need to move on) talk..she just left it for me to figure out...it hurts but..the silence almost speaks louder than her words ever did. Stay strong and give it time..you'll have your peace one way or another...I'm focusing on the same thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author eric85 Posted October 5, 2013 Author Share Posted October 5, 2013 Your right and as hurt as I am thats what i'm doing just moving on..I really don't have a choice. And the "you need to move on" talk was initiated by me, if not she would have left it for me to figure out as well. The thing that just bothers me so much is how drastic and sudden the change of heart was. A few weeks ago we were planning our wedding and now we are completely done and I'll be nothing more then a weekend dad. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzy_000 Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 eric85 from what you've said your fiancee seems a bit confused. I don't think she is stable right now and if you can, give her some space so she can figure herself out. In order to be in a happy relationship, we all need to be happy with our lives in general and feel comfortable even if we were alone. To me it seems like she needs some help and space right now, as otherwise the issues might be tucked away for a while, but come to the surface every now and then I am sending you all my positive thoughts and hope you will get over this soon. Link to post Share on other sites
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