Getting out of an abusive relationship?

[Sg24]

Okay so I have been in a relationship with my fiancé for almost 5 years now we have a 11 month old daughter together. Our relationship was perfect we where happy for so long and now he's abusive physically and emotionally. I live with him and stay at home with the baby. I have no financial income for "myself" I don't own a car and have no family to help me. My question is I know many women have gotten out of these situations before but how? How do you pull the strength together after you have been broken down for so long! How do you ignore the fact that you still love a person who could treat you so wrongly? I know it's my fault that I allowed my self to be where I am at, I just don't want my daughter to grow up in the lifestyle I did. I used to be so strong but now I feel like I can't do anything without him. I have a college degree just no one to watch the baby so I could work to start to save up to leave. Please no judging and I only want honest respectful opinions, I don't need anything else to bring me down. Thank you and I appreciate anyone who takes the time to respond.

[Faith13/2]

I was in a situation much like your's at one point. Was with a guy for 7 years and had 2 children with him. I also had nothing of my own, no income, no family I could run to for help. I stayed in that relationship miserable for far to long. As much as you're asking what you can do, it doesn't mean you'll take anyone's advice. Not trying to be negative, but when you allow yourself to believe you have no strength to get out, nothing anyone says is going to change your mind.

 

You're dependent on this guy in every way, and sadly he knows it. "Boys" like him feed off at that energy. You will know for yourself when enough is enough and leaving becomes the clearest thing in your mind. Once you tell yourself you want to get out and you stick to it, you'll be surprised how many options open up.

 

I'm not sure where you're located, but I know that there are hotlines women can call. I've heard of situations where the "program" will actually take you and your child from the household without him knowing. You would be put into completely different surroundings, knowing nobody, but since as you said you have no family anyways.. might not be much of an issue for you. If you're serious about getting out and can't find a solution, get a number and call them. Good luck

[panoramicview]

You mentioned not having any family, but what about close friends? Are there neighbors that could babysit until you get on your feet? I can't imagine the pain you must feel having someone you love hurt you so badly. I hope you can find the help and strength to leave, if not for you, for your child. Try calling local YWCAs and emergency shelters. They often not only provide shelter, but childcare.