destroyed life after breakup

[send_me_flowers]

Destroyed life after a break up.

 

hello everyone this is my first post here...

 

Almost 9 weeks after my horrible break up with my ex boyfriend of 3 years I find myself depressed, sad and still mentally broken,

 

The break up was very traumatic and painful, I am not going to go into details, but I´ll just say that I loved this man with all my life and trusted him, and he betrayed me and left me for another woman.. Treated me pretty badly as he was dating both of us until he decided to go with his lover. He got a tattoo on his arm with her name on it while we was still together. and gave me some story that it wasnt what I though. He denied he cheated on me and I don't know why. Is it so he doesn't look bad.

 

It´s been almost 7 weeks with no contact. He was meant to talk things out with me but as always let me down and than he said he would call me later on but never did. He just dissapered and never said goodbye , I still cry sometimes, still feel anxiety, I suffer from insomnia , because of this.

 

 

I cant get the sad thoughts out of my head, being betrayed and replaced for another person, is the most hurtful thing (ive been through, and I can honestly say my life is destroyed.

 

I lost the joy of living, I lost hope of finding love again, I lost everything.

 

this sadness doesnt go away.

 

My ex screwed up my life, I used to be a happy, confident person. And now I'm a hopeless wreck.... Please can someone give me advice on how to get these thoughts and feelings away. I know I shouldn't but I miss him so much...

[stormer1092]

I was also betrayed and replaced by my ex GF. It hurts more then just breaking it off. I still have my ups and downs but I personally stay busy and keep my mind off of it. Hang out with friends, do what makes you happy and live your own life. Don't let your life suffer from what he's done.

[send_me_flowers]

thank you stormer for your reply. im so sorry you have had to go through this also.

 

its so hard i havent got many friends i.e they have settled down. so i dont get out.

 

i am really suffering at the moment its really so hard.

 

i am trying to give myself to heal myself but have no joy in doing things my mind is always on my ex.. its really getting me down

 

thank you for your kind words

[stormer1092]

thank you stormer for your reply. im so sorry you have had to go through this also.

 

its so hard i havent got many friends i.e they have settled down. so i dont get out.

 

i am really suffering at the moment its really so hard.

 

i am trying to give myself to heal myself but have no joy in doing things my mind is always on my ex.. its really getting me down

 

thank you for your kind words

 

Oh I'm still going through this. It only happened a few weeks ago. I'm in the same boat. It is hard not to think of them but you're going to from time to time. I don't have many friends either since:eek:. But you really need to go out and do NEW things. Like myself I got a new job and met allot of people through it. I got in touch with some old college buddies of mine and got invited to a few parties and other things. Just live your life to the fullest. I used to say "we always have tomorrow" but I'm starting to realize life is way to short to not live life every day.

[send_me_flowers]

Oh I'm still going through this. It only happened a few weeks ago. I'm in the same boat. It is hard not to think of them but you're going to from time to time. I don't have many friends either since:eek:. But you really need to go out and do NEW things. Like myself I got a new job and met allot of people through it. I got in touch with some old college buddies of mine and got invited to a few parties and other things. Just live your life to the fullest. I used to say "we always have tomorrow" but I'm starting to realize life is way to short to not live life every day.

 

 

that is so true... i am not the one who caused our relationship to break up. as im sure you never. they have made the choice to give up on us.

 

its strange we are heartbroken and they are living life hapy and inlove. when its THEM that lost us. i suppose in time we will see we are better off without them. but it still hurts. to think every effort we done is forgotten about.

[stormer1092]

that is so true... i am not the one who caused our relationship to break up. as im sure you never. they have made the choice to give up on us.

 

its strange we are heartbroken and they are living life hapy and inlove. when its THEM that lost us. i suppose in time we will see we are better off without them. but it still hurts. to think every effort we done is forgotten about.

 

Yea its hard to accept it. But you need to stick with No Contact and you really don't know if they are in love or not. You can't just forget about people that fast. People who move on that fast never last with anyone. Something isn't right in there head. They lost out on you. YOU are the prize they chose to leave, its there loss. It really just shows what kind of people they are.

[send_me_flowers]

Yea its hard to accept it. But you need to stick with No Contact and you really don't know if they are in love or not. You can't just forget about people that fast. People who move on that fast never last with anyone. Something isn't right in there head. They lost out on you. YOU are the prize they chose to leave, its there loss. It really just shows what kind of people they are.

 

he was weighing it up between us. he knew her before me. i think he has been with her behind my back for 6 months. but you are right he lost me.

 

i have no choice but to hold onto my dignty i will stay in NC forever i hope he finds out the grass isnt greener. i can take where something wasnt right in there head because they must be out their minds to hurt someone like they have so much?

 

i can tell you know she wil realise what she lost with you. what a silly girl

[HeartBroken1988]

I feel you totally.. It's been more than 3 months since my GF of 2 years cheated and left me (She made me feel like I was the one who broke up but I had no choice).. the most hurtful thing is that she showed no regrets, all the blame was on me and the cheating was like an eye opening for her to show her how unhappy she was with me..

 

She's gone and I had no explications.. I lost alot of confidence and I'm struggling to recover from this..

This has been the most hurtful experience I ever had.. I hope in time we will recover and find happiness again

[stormer1092]

I feel you totally.. It's been more than 3 months since my GF of 2 years cheated and left me (She made me feel like I was the one who broke up but I had no choice).. the most hurtful thing is that she showed no regrets, all the blame was on me and the cheating was like an eye opening for her to show her how unhappy she was with me..

 

She's gone and I had no explications.. I lost alot of confidence and I'm struggling to recover from this..

This has been the most hurtful experience I ever had.. I hope in time we will recover and find happiness again

 

Yea my ex was trying to make me feel like I was to blame also. I guess it makes them feel better about themselves. She sent me a few "I hate you" texts also and I've done nothing but NC. Seems like she's the one who's hurting more then I am.

[KCCK]

I feel you totally.. It's been more than 3 months since my GF of 2 years cheated and left me (She made me feel like I was the one who broke up but I had no choice).. the most hurtful thing is that she showed no regrets, all the blame was on me and the cheating was like an eye opening for her to show her how unhappy she was with me..

 

She's gone and I had no explications.. I lost alot of confidence and I'm struggling to recover from this..

This has been the most hurtful experience I ever had.. I hope in time we will recover and find happiness again

 

I feel you as the exact same thing happened to me 6 weeks ago.. She dump me for other guy and showed no regrets, blaming everything on me... After the incident, I was really down and felt like everything was lost.. thus I decided to keep NC, remove her from social media, joined a table tennis club, get a new job and get to know other people... trying to move on, feeling better but I wont deny that the pain is still there.. it takes time... dont worry everybody, we will all recover if we allow ourself to recover... =)

[send_me_flowers]

I feel you totally.. It's been more than 3 months since my GF of 2 years cheated and left me (She made me feel like I was the one who broke up but I had no choice).. the most hurtful thing is that she showed no regrets, all the blame was on me and the cheating was like an eye opening for her to show her how unhappy she was with me..

 

She's gone and I had no explications.. I lost alot of confidence and I'm struggling to recover from this..

This has been the most hurtful experience I ever had.. I hope in time we will recover and find happiness again

 

aw i feel for you too. mine was a coward and just left me to piece it all together..

 

i hope we find happiness but we need to recover 100% first we are that matters noone else. but its hard when they throw everything we had like we was trash but we are not trash we are loving kind genuine people. its them that is cheap and weak and trash

[send_me_flowers]

Yea my ex was trying to make me feel like I was to blame also. I guess it makes them feel better about themselves. She sent me a few "I hate you" texts also and I've done nothing but NC. Seems like she's the one who's hurting more then I am.

 

 

i wish my ex would hurt with me not being in his life, but as the days are moving on i think he is happy im not

[stormer1092]

i wish my ex would hurt with me not being in his life, but as the days are moving on i think he is happy im not

 

You don't know what he's thinking and you might never know. I only know because I ran into her sister and she told me.

[send_me_flowers]

I feel you as the exact same thing happened to me 6 weeks ago.. She dump me for other guy and showed no regrets, blaming everything on me... After the incident, I was really down and felt like everything was lost.. thus I decided to keep NC, remove her from social media, joined a table tennis club, get a new job and get to know other people... trying to move on, feeling better but I wont deny that the pain is still there.. it takes time... dont worry everybody, we will all recover if we allow ourself to recover... =)

 

that is true but in the meantime rejection is hard pill to swallow and so raw. it feels asif my wound will never heal, i dont find joy i could stay in bed all week i am really having a hard time accepting my life as it is now, but ive been strong in nc

[send_me_flowers]

You don't know what he's thinking and you might never know. I only know because I ran into her sister and she told me.

 

thats true but if he was thinking of me he would ring me he couldnt care if i was dead or alive

[send_me_flowers]

please can anyone else offer an imput in my current situation?

[send_me_flowers]

hello please please can someone help me because i dont know what to do. i have posted before.

 

my ex bf has ripped my heart out. he has lied and strung me along. than 4 months into the relationship he said theres a chance he could go away to jail i fell for him so i willing to wait for him. he got 7years does half of that 3. 1/2 years.. so everything went ok for the first 12 months got engaged .. than he became distant and cold stopped my visits i still waited like a fool for him. than when he got day leaves he never came to see me or even ring me only call when he was back in jail this went on for a while.. he broke up with me write letters to take him back like a mug i did than all along on his home leaves he had a tattoo of another girls name on his arm a girl he knew before me.

 

i done everything for him while he was away even had pictures of his son sent him to him because his sons mum never wanted them in.. and he just treated me like crap we broke up 10 weeks ago even tho i wasnt seeing him he said he would call me and never did that was 6 weeks back

 

so been in nc since than. but he put me through hell and back and not care to say goodbye i could be dead for all he knows but he never cared so i believe he left me for that girl. and i dont know how he can just forget me after everything i done for him..

[todreaminblue]

jail changes people......some for the better(the ones who suddenyl realize how precious the people are around them and the time that they spend with them, these people also dont often re offend)then theres some who go bad........the ones that get harder in there, have little or no remorse and jail doesnt change their outlook on life at all, they continue to be the same if not worse than before they went in, they take time people and society in general for granted...your boyfriend sounds like the latter....you dont need him ....let him go...he is not for you.....best wishes...deb

[send_me_flowers]

jail changes people......some for the better(the ones who suddenyl realize how precious the people are around them and the time that they spend with them, these people also dont often re offend)then theres some who go bad........the ones that get harder in there, have little or no remorse and jail doesnt change their outlook on life at all, they continue to be the same if not worse than before they went in, they take time people and society in general for granted...your boyfriend sounds like the latter....you dont need him ....let him go...he is not for you.....best wishes...deb

 

 

thank you he has just left me so hurt how he can forget everything i done for him and me... he has cheated lied and hurt me so badly.. i dont know why.. how can someone do that to someone who loved them dearly... he was a good american man before he went inside. now i feel like he was a stranger. he has left me for someone else and i dont know what she had that i never did.

[todreaminblue]

thank you he has just left me so hurt how he can forget everything i done for him and me... he has cheated lied and hurt me so badly.. i dont know why.. how can someone do that to someone who loved them dearly... he was a good american man before he went inside. now i feel like he was a stranger. he has left me for someone else and i dont know what she had that i never did.

 

you said he was a good american man but being convicted and having been given a seven year belies that fact.......

 

 

whether or not he was good before something in there changed him or the real him is now out to play, whatever the case is....that he left you is probably a positive....he was always a stranger to you, you never truly know anyone unless you have known them for a very long time.....he might have changed but you remained the same ...just waiting for him.......while who he was waiting for, was not you...you might not feel lucky at the moment...i have a really strong feeling you are very lucky....now you can find a man who is an honest good american man when you heal....i wish you much luck in life and love without the guy who isnt for you....hugs...deb

[send_me_flowers]

you said he was a good american man but being convicted and having been given a seven year belies that fact.......

 

 

whether or not he was good before something in there changed him or the real him is now out to play, whatever the case is....that he left you is probably a positive....he was always a stranger to you, you never truly know anyone unless you have known them for a very long time.....he might have changed but you remained the same ...just waiting for him.......while who he was waiting for, was not you...you might not feel lucky at the moment...i have a really strong feeling you are very lucky....now you can find a man who is an honest good american man when you heal....i wish you much luck in life and love without the guy who isnt for you....hugs...deb

 

thank you that is so true he was not waiting for me... thank you i hope i can find happiness and joy again... thank you for writing that hugs too

[Heathcliff_201]

Hi SMF,

 

I am going something pretty similar. Helped someone out while in prison and feel like all they did was take advantage of me. I don't like that I miss her but I'm guessing because I worried about her for most of the relationship it is a bad habit I need to break. I feel your pain that's for sure. Sucks doesn't it. Nice to have a place to vent.

[stormer1092]

thats true but if he was thinking of me he would ring me he couldnt care if i was dead or alive

 

I wouldn't say that either. We are not mind readers.

[heartshaped]

Stay NC. He cheated on you, tattooed this woman's name on his arm while the two of you were still together, and broke up with you for her. Do not allow him to even cross your mind.

 

Go out and enjoy your life. Exercise, do the things you enjoy, and spend lots of time with your family and friends. Take care of yourself and treat yourself well.

[send_me_flowers]

Hi SMF,

 

I am going something pretty similar. Helped someone out while in prison and feel like all they did was take advantage of me. I don't like that I miss her but I'm guessing because I worried about her for most of the relationship it is a bad habit I need to break. I feel your pain that's for sure. Sucks doesn't it. Nice to have a place to vent.

 

 

its awful tbh but today i woke up and i though as much as it hurts fook it. i was good to him and he couldnt see it or my value or worth

 

i am venting because of the betyral but what goes around comes around i need to realise that.

 

i am trying to get over the ordeal but i feel a little better today..

 

i am yours doesnt take long to get over:mad: