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Break up letter need analyzing. I don't know


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I think I need to explain myself better... I also have had to think a lot about it.

 

I know that I won't be with you if I have these feelings for him. It's not just a rough patch. Even if this decision becomes my biggest regret in the far future it's a chance I have to take for myself. I don't want you to wait for me, or even expect it.

 

I actually haven't started dating him fyi, I'm also giving myself at least a month to sort out my feelings about breaking up with you. I see him at work and there are moments but it's not like I ended it with you and just right away am dating him. You deserve more respect than that and my heart wouldn't be in the right place if I did that.

 

It's not like you were a crappy bf and hurt me so badly - in fact I'm sure I could have been happy with you, especially when you got your life together. But only to an extent would I be happy. I'm being selfish and wanting more. More that I didn't think I would find but somehow it's found me. I did love you. But maybe it was puppy love and not mature love. Maybe I wasn't thinking clearly because of the honeymoon. Maybe I was scared to be alone at a vulnerable time.

 

I started to feel like something was missing that I needed, that I would never be able to share with you. Something I had thought I could do without, or maybe I gave up on, but lately it's been coming back to me. I am a workaholic and I'm becoming more immersed with work just like I used to be in school - it's pretty much all of my life and not just "work" that I can check out after 6pm. I need someone who can understand work problems, and more so I want to be with someone who can guide me a little - but also make me feel I'm supporting them. And also someone who can challenge my mind and get me to think more creatively. Sure I could share ideas and things with you, but I want more than just - go for it, I'll support you. Or - that's a great idea. I want someone who will problem solve with me, throw ideas back and forth.

 

I know that all relationships have problems after the honeymoon stage or w/e. But this thing isn't as simple as oh I've fallen for this new guy and infatuated in the honeymoon stage. I wouldn't have ended it with you if it was a simple crushing on a cute guy. I can turn that off mentally very easily. Like I've said before, looks don't matter that much to me (sure it's a plus) but in the grand scheme it doesn't matter that much to me. There's just that something more I'm seeing in him that fits with what I was missing. Him and me think alike, sometimes almost like mind reading each other, but still different people. Its a feeling that I never really felt to this extent before.

 

I hate that I'm making you a stepping stone.

 

Maybe in a year or two it might turn out to be the wrong choice. But even if this turns out to be wrong, I need to try this out. I feel that strongly about it that I'm willing to part with you, as someone who is and always will be very dear to me.

 

If you still want to be friends with me later on, that would be amazing. If you don't, I will understand. It'll make me sad but I would rather you be happy. If you need to hate me to be happy then please hate me.

 

 

Is this GIGS, I feel like this isn't?

I think there's no chance of me getting her back? Is it even possible?

How do I move on from here? I'm so hurt.

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I think I need to explain myself better... I also have had to think a lot about it.

 

I know that I won't be with you if I have these feelings for him. It's not just a rough patch. Even if this decision becomes my biggest regret in the far future it's a chance I have to take for myself. I don't want you to wait for me, or even expect it.

 

I actually haven't started dating him fyi, I'm also giving myself at least a month to sort out my feelings about breaking up with you. I see him at work and there are moments but it's not like I ended it with you and just right away am dating him. You deserve more respect than that and my heart wouldn't be in the right place if I did that.

 

It's not like you were a crappy bf and hurt me so badly - in fact I'm sure I could have been happy with you, especially when you got your life together. But only to an extent would I be happy. I'm being selfish and wanting more. More that I didn't think I would find but somehow it's found me. I did love you. But maybe it was puppy love and not mature love. Maybe I wasn't thinking clearly because of the honeymoon. Maybe I was scared to be alone at a vulnerable time.

 

I started to feel like something was missing that I needed, that I would never be able to share with you. Something I had thought I could do without, or maybe I gave up on, but lately it's been coming back to me. I am a workaholic and I'm becoming more immersed with work just like I used to be in school - it's pretty much all of my life and not just "work" that I can check out after 6pm. I need someone who can understand work problems, and more so I want to be with someone who can guide me a little - but also make me feel I'm supporting them. And also someone who can challenge my mind and get me to think more creatively. Sure I could share ideas and things with you, but I want more than just - go for it, I'll support you. Or - that's a great idea. I want someone who will problem solve with me, throw ideas back and forth.

 

I know that all relationships have problems after the honeymoon stage or w/e. But this thing isn't as simple as oh I've fallen for this new guy and infatuated in the honeymoon stage. I wouldn't have ended it with you if it was a simple crushing on a cute guy. I can turn that off mentally very easily. Like I've said before, looks don't matter that much to me (sure it's a plus) but in the grand scheme it doesn't matter that much to me. There's just that something more I'm seeing in him that fits with what I was missing. Him and me think alike, sometimes almost like mind reading each other, but still different people. Its a feeling that I never really felt to this extent before.

 

I hate that I'm making you a stepping stone.

 

Maybe in a year or two it might turn out to be the wrong choice. But even if this turns out to be wrong, I need to try this out. I feel that strongly about it that I'm willing to part with you, as someone who is and always will be very dear to me.

 

If you still want to be friends with me later on, that would be amazing. If you don't, I will understand. It'll make me sad but I would rather you be happy. If you need to hate me to be happy then please hate me.

 

 

Is this GIGS, I feel like this isn't?

I think there's no chance of me getting her back? Is it even possible?

How do I move on from here? I'm so hurt.

 

Read between the lines honey she's done.

 

It does sound like gigs gigs is about wanting more and she clearly explains she wants more than you and what you can give her.

 

Yes it's over, the chances of getting her back I'd slim to none and it won't be anytime soon if it is the case.

 

No contact, don't reply, don't acknowledge her in any way, block her on Facebook or better yet delete Facebook so you aren't temped to snoop and move on

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That is the MOST SELFISH LETTER I HAVE EVER READ!

 

Oh, that is soooo kind of her to give herself one month before she beds this guy for you. :sick: Complete bullsh*t, but nice! :sick::sick::sick::sick:

 

She wants someone that understands her work problems and that can bounce idea's off of rather than just offer support....uh huh. Yeah, that's called ESTABLISHING A WORKING RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR COWORKERS!!!! So, more bullsh*t from her.

 

The ONLY truthful thing in that letter was hating that she USED you as a stepping stone.

 

Please, for the love of Pete, do not respond to this garbage! SHe's only trying to ease her guilt and for her to have the gall on describing why this other guy is a better fit for her is to convince herself that she's making the right choice at the expense of your pain to tell you that. Very selfish bitch!!!!

 

God, that letter got me sooo spun up!!!!

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The thing is, I think she found the love of her life. I don't know what to do. I think her situation is different from others where they just go into a relationship and found out it's not what it is.

 

I truly believe they have an emotional bond. It's just two years down the drain.

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The thing is, I think she found the love of her life. I don't know what to do. I think her situation is different from others where they just go into a relationship and found out it's not what it is.

 

I truly believe they have an emotional bond. It's just two years down the drain.

 

Why do you care about her "one" that's none of your business and not for you to have an opinion on.

 

We are talking about YOU AND HER not her and him.

 

Run as fast as you can..

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That letter is sooo patronizing! Wow!!! :sick::sick::sick::sick: rip it up, burn it and NEVER EVER EVER RESPOND.

 

effffff her. do not respond. please!

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The thing is, I think she found the love of her life. I don't know what to do. I think her situation is different from others where they just go into a relationship and found out it's not what it is.

 

I truly believe they have an emotional bond. It's just two years down the drain.

 

what you do is IGNORE HER, go NC and start to heal.

she is a self-absorbed ding bat. I can't even believe she had the balls to send that letter :sick::sick::sick:

 

and how old is she? who write "w/e" in a letter like that. lol omg what a piece of work this chick is. screw her.

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what you do is IGNORE HER, go NC and start to heal.:laugh:

she is a self-absorbed ding bat. I can't even believe she had the balls to send that letter :sick::sick::sick:

 

and how old is she? who write "w/e" in a letter like that. lol omg what a piece of work this chick is. screw her.

 

Ding bat :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

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We were together for two years. She was heads over heels for me once. We didn't have fights, the only problem we had was she told me to play a game while she play the birthday gift game I bought her. I starved myself for her so I can visit her and buy her presents. I genuinely loved her and she loved me (idk).

 

Everything changed a few month ago when she got the job she wanted in the industry. She met a guy who she can "bounce ideas off from" and i guess got emotionally attached to him.

 

 

Thing is, I was the one with her when she was lost and vulnerable, I was the one with her when she needed someone. I was the one that visited her and planned my life around her. I was the one that gave her all my love.

 

and everything just flew away because she got the job she wanted...... because I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND HER WORK PROBLEMS AND UNDERSTAND VISUAL EFFECTS.

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Here's the deal, she TRYING to convince herself that this is her soulmate. It's all over that letter. Also, how many times did she say that she might be making a mistake. That doesn't sound like someone that found their "soulmate". BUT! That's also a crude way of letting you down easy. Because, no matter what your feelings are on the matter she going to be with this guy whether you like it or not. (I speculate that she already has).

 

So, she wrote out this "heart felt" letter. :sick::sick::sick: I speculate that she may want to know that you've read it and she'll be waiting for a reply, when you don't send it, she'll go fishing for one. IGNORE IT!!!! ALL OF IT!!!!

 

One thing about a lot of women, they can't stand to think that there might be a person on this earth that hates them or doesn't think that they are a nice person. Drive MOST (not all, but the majority) nuts! So, I truly think she's going to contact you again to see where your head is at. To see if you agree with what she wrote. Do not respond at all! Your silence will speak volumes. You give her nothing! You let her wonder, " Wow, did I hurt him THAT badly?" "Is he okay? Does he hate me THAT much? Did he even read my letter? Why won't he respond? Did he frickin move out of state? Where the hell is he? Why won't he respond? Above all else, I thought we had a really good friendship? Where is he?"

 

Let her kept her guilt! YOU NEED TO BLOCK HER ON FACEBOOK AND DO IT NOW!!!! I've seen this before where a guy or girl doesn't respond to anything, then they get the idea of posting pics of her and the other dude together. Hoping that, that might get a rise out of you and respond. You may be mad, but at least you're talking to her now. And she'll hope that you blast her. Then! She could ease her own guilt saying, "I can't believe he would talk to me like that! What a douche rocket! I'm glad I got rid of his ass."

 

SO, there you have it, heal and move on. Dark NC and start making positive changes in your life. Do it now!

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We were together for two years. She was heads over heels for me once. We didn't have fights, the only problem we had was she told me to play a game while she play the birthday gift game I bought her. I starved myself for her so I can visit her and buy her presents. I genuinely loved her and she loved me (idk).

 

Everything changed a few month ago when she got the job she wanted in the industry. She met a guy who she can "bounce ideas off from" and i guess got emotionally attached to him.

 

 

Thing is, I was the one with her when she was lost and vulnerable, I was the one with her when she needed someone. I was the one that visited her and planned my life around her. I was the one that gave her all my love.

 

and everything just flew away because she got the job she wanted...... because I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND HER WORK PROBLEMS AND UNDERSTAND VISUAL EFFECTS.

 

The issue you have here is YOU were head over heels in love with her. Her? Well she doesn't sound like she ever cared that much at all.

 

She sounds more like she stuck with you so she wouldn't be alone. Just because this is all recent, and you've only just found out doesn't mean she was happy anyway.

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She sounds very immature... I don't know how old you guys are, but if she is in her early 20s, it's pretty normal to try on different partners as a way to get to know yourself.

 

I am sorry you are hurt, but you have no choice here but to let her go. She may grow up a bit and realize you were actually "the one" somewhere down the road, but you shouldn't hang onto that hope or stop living your life for it.

 

That's a terrible letter, btw. She is giving you way too much information to torture yourself with. :(

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We actually knew each other for 3 years. The first year I just pushed it off not going into the relationship because I wanted to test if she's the right person. Then I eventually got convinced and I believed her.

 

 

She's a keeper if she's always lost and my status is higher than her, she just changed once her status rose to be equal with me...

 

 

Haha, and the stupid thing is I gave her the gentleman's break up. Wish her well with her new guy. Told her I think she made the right choice, and that I'll continue to offer my support after a while.

 

She wanted me to continue talking to her while she's dating the guy. But that was too much that I just had to end it. She flaunts it in my face about the little "moments" the guy and her share.

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Haha, and the stupid thing is I gave her the gentleman's break up. Wish her well with her new guy. Told her I think she made the right choice, and that I'll continue to offer my support after a while.

 

She wanted me to continue talking to her while she's dating the guy. But that was too much that I just had to end it. She flaunts it in my face about the little "moments" the guy and her share.

 

No, you need to go NC. For her to see what life is like without you, she has to be without you. If she still has you as a shoulder and a support while she tests out a new life, that isn't fair to YOU, and it isn't a true representation of what life is like for her without you in it.

 

When this guy doesn't call, or does something that makes her cry, or whatever he does, she has to deal with it on her own. She can't come running back to you for only the friendship part of the relationship, while giving her heart to someone else.

 

You gotta let her go - all the way.

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She sounds very immature... I don't know how old you guys are, but if she is in her early 20s, it's pretty normal to try on different partners as a way to get to know yourself.

 

I am sorry you are hurt, but you have no choice here but to let her go. She may grow up a bit and realize you were actually "the one" somewhere down the road, but you shouldn't hang onto that hope or stop living your life for it.

 

That's a terrible letter, btw. She is giving you way too much information to torture yourself with. :(

 

She's 25 and I'm 23. I'm her first boyfriend lol....

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Trying2MakeIt

Sounds like a complete narcissist. She is completely self centered and playing you with these words. Moreover this letter is not for you, it was for her and her conscious. Give her what she wants .....she wants you gone. Give it to her.

 

Trust, folks like her are very insecure and need constant ego stroking . Not to say otherwise. Once she realizes that its not you, or some instant fix she can just plug in, it is indeed HER. She is incomplete not to say maybe even shallow, she will have this epiphany. By that time, you would have use Non Contact to heal and moreover move far from her madness. Take it from me, this is pure nonsense and will drive you insane if you allow it. It hurts, yet believe she needs you more than you will ever need her. She is selfish to say the very least.

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She's 25 and I'm 23. I'm her first boyfriend lol....

 

Yeah, I figured. She has to go out into the world and learn who she is. Her choice to move on to this other guy is in NO WAY a reflection of you or what kind of boyfriend you were.

 

I know it doesn't help your heart to tell you it is normal, but... it is. :(

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The thing is, I think she found the love of her life. I don't know what to do. I think her situation is different from others where they just go into a relationship and found out it's not what it is.

 

I truly believe they have an emotional bond. It's just two years down the drain.

 

Almost everyone goes into a relationship with all the same talks as your ex in that letter. I'm sure that most of these dumpers came into relationships thinking/feeling the same about us, as they do about their new relationships; look how it turned out. Everyone likes to believe that their situation is different.

 

I really wonder what will happen to this connection/bond if one them leave to go work somewhere else. The only way to "bounce ideas" of people that you interact with, is to date them? Really?

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Almost everyone goes into a relationship with all the same talks as your ex in that letter. I'm sure that most of these dumpers came into relationships thinking/feeling the same about us, as they do about their new relationships; look how it turned out. Everyone likes to believe that their situation is different.

 

I really wonder what will happen to this connection/bond if one them leave to go work somewhere else.

 

 

I know the guy she's seeing his working visa ends in a year. He always wanted to go back to the UK. Sorry I just had to stalk who the hell ruined me. He's also quite the lady's man. As far as I know, artists switch companies all the time. They're done by year to year contracts. Of course she doesn't know all this and I don't intend on telling her :p. It's the least amount of revenge I can allow myself to have.

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Ireallydontknow

All I read was. "I'm selfish and I want a story book romance. You quit giving me everything I unrealistically wanted, now I'm leaving."

 

Quit stalking, It's the worst you can do. You can do better. Let her crash and burn. She'll be back. Give her the finger in her f****** face for me.

 

Stay Strong.

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Most people do not marry their first love. Everyone thinks they will though :laugh: Trust me everyone has been where you are at, it will get better and you can help speed that along by having NC with her. also no offense but sounds like you were kinda a doormat in your R with her, the starving (wtf!!) yourself, doing everything for her..........you need boundaries.

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Yeah, I figured. She has to go out into the world and learn who she is. Her choice to move on to this other guy is in NO WAY a reflection of you or what kind of boyfriend you were.

 

I know it doesn't help your heart to tell you it is normal, but... it is. :(

 

I am kinda deciding on taking her back if she ever decides to. I'm learning towards the NO. As much my heart aches for it, it really does make me wonder if someone else seems better comes along she'll leave me again. If I take her back I'll always have to deal that I'm her 2nd, 3rd choice because all those other relationships doesn't work.

 

But then I think to myself am I the hypocrite of love if I don't give her a chance to grow and see what's out there? If I truly loved her I would trust her again, because after all first relationships rarely ever works, and she's young in her twenties so she's bound to try new things. Will I be able to find it in my heart to convince that this is just like a children making a mistake without intending to hurt me?

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I know the guy she's seeing his working visa ends in a year. He always wanted to go back to the UK. Sorry I just had to stalk who the hell ruined me. He's also quite the lady's man. As far as I know, artists switch companies all the time. They're done by year to year contracts. Of course she doesn't know all this and I don't intend on telling her :p. It's the least amount of revenge I can allow myself to have.

 

I'm sure she knows this stuff about him, hence her in a year or 2 comment. Some people know that these things might never work out but they still do it anyways.

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