sinkerswim Posted June 30, 2004 Share Posted June 30, 2004 Hey all... Some of you know my story..some dont. Was with my fiance for 8 years, he left me saying he needed space because I was too smothering. This was on Feb. 3rd. A few times trying to contact him and write letters, got no answers..etc. Hes the type that bottles up all his emotions...runs away from serious situations and hopes it will go away. In the meantime I went through a horrible depression, Im on 3 medications and seeing a therapist. Last I called him was March 17th. He was cold and didnt give me any answers. Its just all very unlike him. We had 8 solid years together, great times, engaged, been through ALOT together. So I feel very abandoned. Im not mad at him, I forgive him for what he has done. But Its hard to live with the fact that he doesnt want to talk to me. I miss him more than anything in this world. Im frustrated, I miss all our times together, I miss his touch...just everythng. I keep questioning to mysef why did he do this to me. He knows that was my worst fear. WHY CANT HE JUST TALK TO ME?? I wrote him a letter last week that I was working on for quite awhile. It just told him how much I love and miss him, and that I hope we can talk again on good terms. What kills me is he never said goodbye to me. Its unreal. Sadly, I dont think I will get a reply from him. WHY WONT HE JUST REPLY? Why cant he just face me or even write a letter to tell me why he did this in this way. Some say he ran away and couldnt face me to tell me... But it makes ME feel like he hates me. I dont want him to hate me. We shared everything. I would have died for him. Its all so frustrating that he lives 10 minutes from me, but yet is like a world away. I miss him, his family, his cat... My future was torn apart the day he left. Hes not a horrible person. I highly doubt that there was someone else, as he was so against cheating. Maybe he was just sick of being in a rellationship, but I wish he could have sat me down and talked to me face to face to say goodbye. I will always love him. Its hard to let go. Link to post Share on other sites
FreeMe Posted June 30, 2004 Share Posted June 30, 2004 Originally posted by sinkerswim WHY CANT HE JUST TALK TO ME?? He's a pathetic coward. You should be mad at him. That's probably why you're suffering from depression. Depression is anger turned inward - turn it out towards him where it should be. Somewhere inside you are blaming yourself for this - that's why you aren't mad at HIM. You're mad at yourself and that manifests itself in depression. Regardless of how long the two of you were together, he owed you an explanation. But to have been with you for 8 years and walk away with no explanation, or a goodbye is especially loathsome. Believe me, he does not deserve you. I'm sorry you are still having such a hard time with this. Someday you'll realize someone who can do that to you is really not worth all this pain. Link to post Share on other sites
gold26 Posted June 30, 2004 Share Posted June 30, 2004 i very much feel for you.. its very cruel when people you love shut you outof there lives.. im going thru something a little like you... my fiance feels i am possesive and cant control my temper..one he goads me into loosing.. i am a firm believer in it taking two to tango.. yes i am not perfect but neither is he.. now he is doing strange things like.. he posted a scanned page in his yahoo mailbox and keeps deleting the spam tomake sure the email is always in #1 spot.. he logged into yahoo messenger a week after he sent me an email saying the engagement was off..(after i posted a pic of myselfon my profile to make him jealous).. i stay invisable but i feel lie he is also invisable and i dont want him to see me online... the last thing happened last week.. i had written him asking him for us to not stop speaking over a stupid fight because i wastired of 3-4-5 week stand offs... he answered that he just couldnt deal with my inability to control my temper and his own reaction to it. that for the 3 weeks we hadnt spoke he felt at peace and was happy and intended to stay that way..it was after that email that i replied if he didnt want to be with me ther was nothing i could do..and i would respect his decision..but i needed to be with someone who does... i then posted a really good pic of myself on my yahoo...it got a reaction from him.. an angry one.. he broke our engagement, deleted a dedication to me on his business webpage..buti didnt reply.. a week later he logged into yahoo messenger for an hour and left.. i feel he loggs in invisable but i never show im online... his latest thing is... for over a year he has had a note on his webpage that his creative ability would not be possable without the "inner peace" he has and he thanked god for it.. that note has been there for over a year... and lasy week he went in to his page and deleted that all together.. im not sure if he did that as a signal that he no longer has the inner peace he bragged about or if its just a coincidence... i have been awfully good to him for 5 years imade him grafics for his page ..designed logos.. made himt shirts with his logos and pics for advertisemensts.. i was constantly surprising him like that... you think the removal offthe inner peace thing means anything significant? Link to post Share on other sites
Caveman Posted June 30, 2004 Share Posted June 30, 2004 The same thing happened to me on May 23...July 15 would have been 4 years...She just totally shut me out. Friggin cold. Link to post Share on other sites
breezy Posted June 30, 2004 Share Posted June 30, 2004 Unfortantely, most of the time, I dont think men (and women too) tell you what really is bothering them and the real reasons why they are doing what they are doing. I do also believe that too many people run from there problems, bottle them up and think that they can deal with them in time, but it just gets worse. My ex boyfriend did the same thing to me and it will catch up to him in the long run and he will realize it. You cant force him to talk to you and the more you push it, the more he will pull away. That is a fact and a definite fact about men and how they handle situations. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sinkerswim Posted July 1, 2004 Author Share Posted July 1, 2004 thanks for the reply you guys. Im sorry to hear whats happened with all of you. It helps when you can come on here and get some support. I know what you mean gold...I have been more than good to him too,..he has told me so many times how much he appreciates me. I just cant understand anything thats happened. I have so many things going on in my head. I just hope and pray that he doesnt hate me for any reason. ANother thing...Ive run into some of his friends, and it seems like nobody knew we were split up!! They were sooo shocked to hear about us. I dont understand...I guess he isnt telling alot of people. My mom said its probably because he knows he is guilty and did it the wrong way. I dont know. Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 Originally posted by sinkerswim thanks for the reply you guys. Im sorry to hear whats happened with all of you. It helps when you can come on here and get some support. I know what you mean gold...I have been more than good to him too,..he has told me so many times how much he appreciates me. I just cant understand anything thats happened. I have so many things going on in my head. I just hope and pray that he doesnt hate me for any reason. ANother thing...Ive run into some of his friends, and it seems like nobody knew we were split up!! They were sooo shocked to hear about us. I dont understand...I guess he isnt telling alot of people. My mom said its probably because he knows he is guilty and did it the wrong way. I dont know. my ex did the same thing...and i've been running to all of our friends...they thought we were still together! and when i told them we werent their jaw dropped to the floor. I uno whats going on. i was going to write him another letter since he called me the next day he got it but i dont want to push him any further then where he is now Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 Few things in this life are more brutal than the final stages of a dying romance. There's no easy way to tell someone you don't feel the same feelings for them anymore. There's no easy way of hearing it, either. It just is. It's like death. A part of your life is gone - forever. But after the cold of winter comes a new spring, with an abundance of new life and new opportunities. Link to post Share on other sites
gold26 Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 you know guys, im treating this like he has died.. it might sound strange.. but we live a long way from each other and i dont have to worry about bumping into him..which im greatful for i just take it day by day.. he has once once again gone into yahoo and deleted the spam mail and left that freaking mail of the scanned book on anger management...im not going back again.. he knows he had a good thing with me.. and he wont find it again..he blew 5 years of being treated too well and the security of knowing someone loved him sincerely not for what he could them... his loss Link to post Share on other sites
gold26 Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 what he could buy them... Link to post Share on other sites
Author sinkerswim Posted July 2, 2004 Author Share Posted July 2, 2004 I know what you mean Gold....My fiance is going to be so sorry because I treated him like gold as well. One day they will realize what they gave up. I got really upset last night, I live by the baseball field that he plays at, and I saw him standing there. I went home and cried. I wanted to stop and say hi soooo bad. Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 Originally posted by sinkerswim I know what you mean Gold....My fiance is going to be so sorry because I treated him like gold as well. One day they will realize what they gave up. I got really upset last night, I live by the baseball field that he plays at, and I saw him standing there. I went home and cried. I wanted to stop and say hi soooo bad. i want to break the N/C so bad....but i know i cant. Its only been a month since we last talked...but 4 months total being broke up... Link to post Share on other sites
gold26 Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 meanttolive4ever , be strong.. dont do it.. you will only want to kick yourself later... hang on... i am having a tough day today too..but i know if i give in to my urge i will only regret it and boost his ego.. be strong G/F Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 Originally posted by gold26 meanttolive4ever , be strong.. dont do it.. you will only want to kick yourself later... hang on... i am having a tough day today too..but i know if i give in to my urge i will only regret it and boost his ego.. be strong G/F i know....its killing me...even if i just talk to his sister i know she'll bring him up Link to post Share on other sites
gold26 Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 i know, i wanted to call "his" son.. who has been very kind and sympathetic.. but he is still his son.. and i would only feel embarassed for myself at the weakness if i do Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 Originally posted by gold26 i know, i wanted to call "his" son.. who has been very kind and sympathetic.. but he is still his son.. and i would only feel embarassed for myself at the weakness if i do yea so i dont know what to do....ugh i hate this.. Link to post Share on other sites
gold26 Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 wait one more day...you may be glad you did Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 Originally posted by gold26 wait one more day...you may be glad you did im scared that im going to get a call on my birthday from him....its in 3 days...and im seriously getting nervous Link to post Share on other sites
Author sinkerswim Posted July 2, 2004 Author Share Posted July 2, 2004 I just wish my fiance (or I guess I should say ex fiance) would call me. Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 Originally posted by sinkerswim I just wish my fiance (or I guess I should say ex fiance) would call me. me too hunny.....but we just have to wait Link to post Share on other sites
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