Madhavok Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 (edited) Not sure why I'm posting, I (think) I know the answers to the questions and concerns I have. Maybe it's just reassurance from a crowd I do not know vs my friends and her friends. Quick backstory: Met this girl eight years my younger and we clicked right away. She had been single for about a year and a half and really didn't want a relationship. We'd hang out, go on dates, hook up, hold hands, etc. However she would always get cold feet. This went on for a while last summer, off and on numerous times before we eventually got together 'officially' around September. Stuff was good until we ended things again. seemed liked cold feet until I had found out she had feelings for someone else. Long story short she realized how much she loved me and just couldn't remove me from her life. Fast forward to about a few weeks ago, she has cold feet again! She thinks we were getting too serious (mind you she has been in my life for about a year and a half) and thinks we're close to setting down. However, I have never pressured into settling down, putting a ring on her finger or anything of the nature. She is stressed out by school and work and I have fell for the whole 'I don't have time for a relationship' etc. I'm a firm believer in NC and have exercised that every time we have these 'breaks'. however she always seems to come back, but this time I think it's really over despite hearing from mutual friends she didn't want to do this, still loves me, misses me etc and all that jazz. and yes I know I'm an idiot for taking her back. That's great and all until I found out it's the same guy from the winter who still has feelings for her and just won't go away. I don't know if she is waiting to see if this other person is something or she just loves the attention. I have also been doing just fine with keeping myself busy with training for my bike races, working, photography etc. Problem is we share a lot of the same friends. After 2 weeks of NC she hits me up yesterday about seeing each other and how it would be nice, 'just to see how we're doing, that's all'. Well I had planned on taking photos of the full moon and of course she comes with our mutual group of friends and she goes off on how she's coping with the breakup, how i was so, so close to making it with her (what?!) and well she was drunk. Still, she stayed by her word of that it's over and we are just not working right right now, but who's to say in the future. and that she doesn't want to go back on her word, she is very stubborn. My apologies for the long post, I'm usually the one giving advise to friends, but this girl is something special to me. We've have had some great moments, trips, family time etc. But yes I know, if we're right for each other, then the pressures of being too serious or not should not matter. Seems like grass is greener issues as well. Or she wouldn't be scared to see where we go, not be worried of being tied down if a job comes up or if she wants to move and not worry about someone else. BTW, I'm 31, she 23 finishing up school. cheers Edited July 23, 2013 by Madhavok Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 She doesn't seem to know what she wants and seems to have no issue showing that fact. She also clearly wants to see how things work out with this other guy, and may have only came back before because he wasn't available or wasn't interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Madhavok Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 (edited) She doesn't seem to know what she wants and seems to have no issue showing that fact. She also clearly wants to see how things work out with this other guy, and may have only came back before because he wasn't available or wasn't interested. He was available and made a play for her during the winter while we were not together. But she did not go for it. This time around he had the gf, broke up with her, told my ex how he still liked her; the guy's ex goes through his phone and texts my ex and a whole **** storm hits the fan, so I'm told. I keep hearing how she's sad, misses me, and doing everything she can not to think about us. Or how she could just go back to me. I'm thinking of writing a letter, nothing too deep, just something how I understand why we're not together, I should not have put my happiness on her shoulders etc. edit: in the past we have talked how we might have a future together. but I really just think she has this mindset of being a certain age she shouldn't be settling down. and it sucks! Not sure. thanks Edited July 23, 2013 by Madhavok Link to post Share on other sites
Author Madhavok Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 Totally double posting excuse me. But, I'm not sure if I should move on completely, stick with the NC/LC, or wait it out. I'm not a fan of either of those choices and I know a lot of people don't believe in the one, but she is the closest thing I have felt in my years of dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts