Social Media

[olive_black]

Hi Everyone,

 

I am on 20 days of NC and I just had a moment of weakness and checked my ex's social media and his current girlfriend's social media.

 

I know this is not the same as actually contacting him, but I do feel its important to not see him or have any information about his life and current relationship, in order to really move on.

 

Is this a major set-back in NC? Am I starting at square one?

 

It scares me that if I couldn't resist Facebook, unprovoked, what would I do of he called?

 

Any advice would be appreciated.

 

Olive

[AllTooWell]

I consider that breaking NC. But you're NEVER going to be "back at square one". In those 20 days of NC you have learned a lot, healed a lot, and changed.

 

 

Yes, looking at his social media was a bad idea. What did you achieve through doing it? Probably a lot of hurt. If you have him as a friend, delete him and then block him on Facebook. I have NO idea why you haven't already. Or do the real mature thing and delete your Facebook entirely.

 

 

This was a lapse in judgement and a weak moment for you. You're right to think if he called you would be weak to that. That makes me think you haven't been taking NC seriously. Start again, this time NO social media, and start healing. Do things that make you happy.

[Legatus]

I don't consider this breaking your NC. I still have an occasional feeling to check my ex's facebook as I still have her in my friends but I resist it. I was doing it at the beginning but it was on purpose, I needed to make myself remember what I did wrong by looking at pictures with her new bf. Sounds silly but sometimes I have to push myself over the edge to come back.

 

Now I do resist it. I sometimes want to do it - just out of curiosity, even when I go to my profile and see her first on my friends list (because she is the person most contacted through facebook) but can't do anything about it.

 

Just hang in there, keep NC and everytime you want to visit ex's facebook page - think about other things you could devote that time to : )

[SimonSerenade]

It doesn't take you back to square one but it definitely sets you back a bit if you learn new painful information you can't unlearn, I went back to Facebook after my break up to talk to friends and family but I hated it and I realised why I deleted it a long time a go, I went on my exes profile a few times and what I saw always felt like a knife in the chest, the first time I snooped she was smiling on a new picture, the second time I snooped she added all her exes as friends and had an insane amount of new male friends on her list, she deleted every last trace that I ever even existed on her profile, unfortunately some exes waste no time getting over you and rendering every promise or word they ever kept meaningless and forgotten, I stay away from social media, I always have and this break up was a cold and cruel reminder why, it's no good for your healing process if you have to see them moving along so well without you, I would delete or deactivate Facebook for the time being in your shoes and go back to it when you feel good and over it.

[Philosoraptor]

Can't agree more. Nothing good can come of learning more information. In a hurting state we constantly overanalyze things and cause a lot of unnecessary pain. In this case, ignorance is bliss, as you can't unsee what you have seen.

 

It doesn't put you back at square one, but it gives you more things to struggle and cope with.

[hippetyhop]

At the end of the day, it hurts more knowing.

 

Don't do it.

 

Even if it is punishing yourself, deactivate your accounts temporarily. It is worth it.

[Nicoleiia]

Social media is really tricky. I find it SO hard not to look at my exes facebook page. Unfortunately for me, I looked a few months ago and found out my ex is married. I will NEVER look again. Ignorance is certainly bliss, because if you look at an ex's facebook and they have moved on completely, it kills!