Extreme case of GIGS.. Is it over?

[switch01]

Hi everyone.. I am going through a rough time and I really need someone to talk about this with. Please..

 

My girlfriend and I met 8 years ago, she was 14 and I was 16. We werent allowed to be togeather for a few years in the beginning.. her parents didnt agree with the age gap. We stayed in contact secretly and continued our relationship until she left highschool and we got an apartment togeather. We had many happy times and were a very close couple.

 

After about a year of living togeather we started to drift apart a bit.. I stopped communicating with her and got caught up with my own life and didnt see the signs that she wasnt getting the attention she needed. She ended up leaving me for another guy out of nowhere. It seemed like grass is greener syndrome so I told her I wanted her back but couldnt be friends with her. She came back to me after just two weeks.. begging for forgiveness.

 

After that things were amazing for a good three years.. We ended up buying a house togeather and things were great up until recently I have sensed the same signs as last time she left.. shes been going out with her sister who just recently divorced. We havent been talking much but I thought it would pass.. It didnt...

 

The other night I saw that she had been talking to a guy on facebook.. making plans to hang out. When I confronted her about it she said he was just a friend and nothing was going on but that she had made plans to hang out with him.. She apologised for not telling me. After that night she started acting very strange and upset.. she couldnt eat or sleep. The next day she came home crying and handed me her phone, she told me i needed to hide it on her because she didnt want it. I sat down with her and comforted her for a few hours.. thats when her phone went off.. it was a text from her new guy friend making a face.. I was shocked and confronted her about messing around behind my back.. she got very upset and ran to the bathroom. I told her she needed to leave the house and she agreed.

 

Two days later a came home from work and she was on the couch.. She said she was confused about what she wanted and that she thinks we should break up.. I agreed but told her I couldnt see or talk to her anymore.. she seemed upset but agreed to move back to her parents so I could move on. Yet that night she started messaging me on facebook telling me she still loves me and that shes feels sick and hopes she is making the right decision. I told her I wished her the best and will always love her but I need to move on. She said she understood and goodbye.

 

But now today she is still messaging me saying she loves and misses me and that I should block her on facebook so she cant message me anymore.. So I blocked her immediately..

 

She is acting in the EXACT same patterns as the last time she left me, She said she never cheated on me but felt neglected and unloved and that attention from this other guy was nice. I feel like shes trying to have her cake and eat it too. She said that she wont know what she wants until she tries it and that maybe we can be togeather someday down the road. I told her I love her but wont wait.. now I am immediately going NC.

 

I am a nervous wreck.. I cant even sleep eat or go to work, I miss her so much and am completely hating life right now.. just like last time.

 

What should I do? I keep trying to understand what shes doing and wonder if we could work through this like we have in the past. I know chasing her wont help. I know shes a 22 year old woman now and wants to experience life.. i know its just a serious case of gigs.. but i dont know how to live without her..

 

Thank you to anyone who even took the time to read this and reply

[Jbmouth91]

I would say that there's hope but the truth is she knows that you are going to be there for her if she ever decided to come back. I know you love her and miss her, but from my own experience I believe that if she left you to try things out with others guys then you should never take her back. Mainly because no one should be second best! If she left you to actually experience life (bettering herself etc) because she had to get away from the relationship thinking that it was holding her back. I guess reconciliation would be acceptable but then has she been honest about what she had been doing during the time you've been broken up? can you have the same or better trust in the relationship like before? Is she truly worth it? These would be questions you need to ask yourself as your heart may get broken again

[SimonSerenade]

Give it time and let it sink in, it's not going to be an easy ride but right now you can't afford to be messed around, stay away from her and unless she knows for sure that it's you that she wants, don't go back or give in to anything she says, it'll prolong your healing, right now it's about you, focus on all the things you need to improve outside of the relationship and stick to it, I know you love her but right now, she's the only one who can make this right, nothing you say or do will matter, accept it for what it is and go easy on yourself, give yourself all you deserve and that little bit more.

[flitzanu]

Hi everyone.. I am going through a rough time and I really need someone to talk about this with. Please..

 

My girlfriend and I met 8 years ago, she was 14 and I was 16. We werent allowed to be togeather for a few years in the beginning.. her parents didnt agree with the age gap. We stayed in contact secretly and continued our relationship until she left highschool and we got an apartment togeather. We had many happy times and were a very close couple.

 

After about a year of living togeather we started to drift apart a bit.. I stopped communicating with her and got caught up with my own life and didnt see the signs that she wasnt getting the attention she needed. She ended up leaving me for another guy out of nowhere. It seemed like grass is greener syndrome so I told her I wanted her back but couldnt be friends with her. She came back to me after just two weeks.. begging for forgiveness.

 

After that things were amazing for a good three years.. We ended up buying a house togeather and things were great up until recently I have sensed the same signs as last time she left.. shes been going out with her sister who just recently divorced. We havent been talking much but I thought it would pass.. It didnt...

 

The other night I saw that she had been talking to a guy on facebook.. making plans to hang out. When I confronted her about it she said he was just a friend and nothing was going on but that she had made plans to hang out with him.. She apologised for not telling me. After that night she started acting very strange and upset.. she couldnt eat or sleep. The next day she came home crying and handed me her phone, she told me i needed to hide it on her because she didnt want it. I sat down with her and comforted her for a few hours.. thats when her phone went off.. it was a text from her new guy friend making a face.. I was shocked and confronted her about messing around behind my back.. she got very upset and ran to the bathroom. I told her she needed to leave the house and she agreed.

 

Two days later a came home from work and she was on the couch.. She said she was confused about what she wanted and that she thinks we should break up.. I agreed but told her I couldnt see or talk to her anymore.. she seemed upset but agreed to move back to her parents so I could move on. Yet that night she started messaging me on facebook telling me she still loves me and that shes feels sick and hopes she is making the right decision. I told her I wished her the best and will always love her but I need to move on. She said she understood and goodbye.

 

But now today she is still messaging me saying she loves and misses me and that I should block her on facebook so she cant message me anymore.. So I blocked her immediately..

 

She is acting in the EXACT same patterns as the last time she left me, She said she never cheated on me but felt neglected and unloved and that attention from this other guy was nice. I feel like shes trying to have her cake and eat it too. She said that she wont know what she wants until she tries it and that maybe we can be togeather someday down the road. I told her I love her but wont wait.. now I am immediately going NC.

 

I am a nervous wreck.. I cant even sleep eat or go to work, I miss her so much and am completely hating life right now.. just like last time.

 

What should I do? I keep trying to understand what shes doing and wonder if we could work through this like we have in the past. I know chasing her wont help. I know shes a 22 year old woman now and wants to experience life.. i know its just a serious case of gigs.. but i dont know how to live without her..

 

Thank you to anyone who even took the time to read this and reply

 

i wouldn't worry about "what she's going through" because she's just being fickle and wanting to meet other people. if she was happy she wouldn't be doing that. if she's not happy, then she should be telling you, not sneaking around behind your back with other guys. besides, she's done this once to you already and you took her back, and now she's done it again? you noticing a pattern?

 

is that signs of someone who is serious about you and the relationship if she keeps sneaking off to hook up with other dudes?

[SimonSerenade]

Couldn't agree more with the poster above, you'll have a hard time building a foundation of trust with someone like that again, you deserve a woman who wants access to your willy wonka factory and nobody else's, there's not enough time in your life to waste on a lady with petty values like that.