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Am I overthinking it?


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OrangeSnack

Ladies and gents, thank you for taking this time to listen to me. In times like these I just want to release some tension and it seems like this is the place to go. I don't know if this really constitutes as a breakup but please hear me out. You see, I've been seeing this gal for over 3 weeks. Everything was going GREAT. By great I mean you can feel it and she had expressed it physically, sexually, and emotionally. All of a sudden on a wednesday night she had a friend pass away (not sure if it's true but i'm not going to think about that and give her the benefit of the doubt), as she is calling me out of the blue thanking me for the gift I gave her in the afternoon. On the note I told her that I was inspired by Arrested Development to make these chocolate bananas for you. Once I heard the news, I was devastated! She was sobbing over the phone as she told me that she was with friends and that she couldn't really talk about it. She told me that she'll talk to me soon. As I couldn't bare the moment I had to know what exactly happened. Why is she crying? Was it my gift? Did my gift giving make her push me away from her life? (Bare in mind, we texted throughout the morning on wednesday and it felt perfectly fine, I didn't sense any weird activities. The next day I shot her a text wishing her well and that hoping she's having a good day. Instantaneously, she shot me back a message telling me that her friend had passed away. She told me not to feel bad for her or anything and that shes dealing with it. She needs to be alone for a little while and that shes with her mother whom is pushing her to get through it. She told me that she doesn't want to talk about it and that she's a little down. She also mentioned to me that she just wanted to let me know what's going on.

 

That was the end of it. Of course I shot her a text back, sending my condolences and that I am here for her if she needs me. I mean what else can I do? As I have a habit of over thinking (part of my insecurities) I wondered if it was me that have caused her to push me away in this kind of tragic event? Typically don't you want to grieve with someone you care about? Granted, we are not official or exclusive (but I was going to ask her to be exclusive this week!) I don't know too much information about this friend of hers. But deep down inside of me I was sad and hurt because even though she had told me what's going on I still don't know if it's true.

 

Now before you jump to conclusions by telling to just believe and give her space to heal or that I am delusional, I on the other hand have been doing some prying. Not in a bad way but as a little kid I've always had a habit of doing that (again my insecurities). When she said that she was with her mother, she was in fact at work. I know this because I drive by her work every day to my office and her car is there. Additionally, I see her on fb (curse you social media!) because we are fb friends and that she's still occasionally commenting and liking pages. In a time like this wouldn't you block yourself from all this? Based on my experience, when my grandfather passed away 2 years ago, I literally disappeared for a month. I took 2 weeks off to grieve and another 2 weeks to travel, clearing my thoughts and mind. But then again, that was my Grandfather, not a friend. Last but not least, what really threw me off the edge was that her netflix account is no longer working. She either changed her pw or she deleted her account and it was working last week! I've done a driveby recently to her house and noticed that her car was there so she's most likely home. Guys and gals, I know what you're going to say, I'm crazy and insecure but don't you feel there is something fishy about this whole situation? Sure she had called me and thanked me for the gift and also texted me instantly about what's really going on but I sometimes doubt that she's telling me the truth. I really think she's trying to push me away from her life and that something triggered her to lose interest.

 

We haven't texted or spoken for 2 days and it's not necessarily driving me insane but I am just sad and confused. I wished she would just text me and tell me she's doing okay and that I know there is still hope between us and that my insecurity thoughts were just a delusion. But nothing... My heart is telling me to wait it out and let her heal until Wednesday (1 week mark). If I don't hear from her, a simple "no response" text would suffice. If she does not respond, then I guess I pretty much know the answer. I guess she has lost interest. But I do want to know why. I want to let her know how I felt this whole time and that if what we had was real. Do you guys think it's a good idea to confront her? I know where she works and live. I've met her coworkers before and was introduced as a friend (which I am fine with) as I introduce her to my friends as a friend but I have never met her parents. I don't want to do it in a way that is creepy or awkward, but I just want to find time one day to meet her up after work or during her break and have a 5-10 minute chat, releasing how I felt and that whether or not our relationship was genuine. Additionally, if my assumptions are correct and that it was an opportunity for her to push me away, what a cruel way to do it :(, granted we were moving pretty fast for 3 weeks.

 

What are some of your thoughts and suggestions? Even if you never had to experience this, I would like to know what you would do if you were in my shoes.

Edited by OrangeSnack
edit, grammar check
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What the hell?!

You were dating her for 3 weeks and you are now thinking that she may be lying about the death of a friend to push you away, for sending her chocolate bananas?! Trust me, it's a pretty serious and sick thing to use as an excuse to end a "relationship". I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt and stop second guessing her. If she has lost interest then so be it, but I can truthfully say if I were her and I knew you were thinking these things about me, I would not want anything to do with you. This is never going to be a relationship, because quite frankly you don't trust her.

 

Why not text her asking if she is ok, does she need anything or would she maybe like to go see a movie to get out and try and distract her. If she doesn't reply, move on.

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