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Broke up with boyfriend after 3 years n now im guilty and hurt


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broken1410

I met my bf in college n we went out for 3 yrs but we have had problems rite after a yr. he loves me n cares alot abt me bt he is very protective n has a very narrow minded approach to life. We dont think the same way and we dont have the same goals and approach in life. We constantly fight because he doesnt like me talking to guys or going out with my frnds. I cnt do anythng alone n everything has to be in accordance with his thoughts. I tried changing n making him d centre of attention bt i jst flipped out. Anytime i stuck to my ideas, we fought. He wud always tell me tht im d most important for him n he treated me like a princess bt i started feeling so constrained and broke up with him a week back. The problem is that we hv started a bsiness together coz he didnt let me do a job (coz he thinks if i go out then i will meet other guys), and now i have to see him everyday n he keeps telling me tht he wnts me back n makes me feel so guilty fr hurting him. I cant give up on the business coz its my dream too n leaving it wud make me lose alot on my career front.

I love him alot bt i cant let him make me feel so trapped and unhappy again. What do i do???

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sounds like me and my ex. She BU with me and did say she felt kinda trapped.

 

But then again she found another guy, so she wanted out to try him out.

 

It's a tough one, but if he thinks you will meet new guys. Well then he must be an insecure person! I let my ex have space when she needed it.. though it kinda did bite me back? I mean I let her go on a trip and I thought it be nice for both of us to get some time away. But on the trip she found someone else.

 

So I can see why your ex is worried... But I think if a girl respects a guy, she wouldn't cheat behind his back. Which is why I trusted my ex a lot. But I guess she just abused my trust at the end of it.

 

I think what you should do is take some time away. I think that's what you need to tell him is you guys need a few weeks away from each other. And both of you need to LOOK at what problems are happening.

 

Everything you described.. you need to TELL him how you feel. Then take a break for 2-3 weeks and see how you feel. And, if both of you decide you want to sit down and chat or hang out for a day to see if both of you have learned something than great.

 

If not, then you know both of you need to move on.

 

I'm saying you guys need space and to express what you feel is because, when you take time away from each other. It will #1 let you both recharge and throw away the hot emotions. #2 it will let you both sit down and think about what changes need to be made. It's obvious things need to change not just from his end but also on your end too.

 

I wouldn't say it's over just yet, but you both need to respect each other a bit more. He needs to respect the fact that you are not something he can cage. But you may need to respect that he may feel insecure about himself.

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