My Ex blocked me on EVERYTHING!

[seasonschange]

So I have a complete dilemma.

 

My ex and I were dating for 8 months. Things were fine until about 3 months into the relationship, he looked at my phone and saw my exes had texted me. I never talked to them. He had a hard time dealing with that and told me I lost his trust. Okay okay.

 

I worked hard to show him how much I loved him. I cooked for him, even made sacrifices to spend to time with him and do what he wanted to do. I loved him so much, and he appeared to love me back. He told me loved me, not even a month before the break up, he told me he wants to make me his wife in the future. Even talked about a promise ring.

 

In between these things, we had the stupidest fights, where literally we fought about "Who lost the remote?". Okay not really about the remote, but it was that stupid. He would always leave, but always comeback missing me not even a day later.

 

In April, we had yet another fight. But this one was the one that he was just fed up with everything. This is when he then tells me he hasn't loved me since January and stayed with me because he wanted to try and make it work.

 

So of course, I did the thing should never do. I contacted him over and over. Showed up crying, etc. (I really loved him, and he was the first guy that I actually had a good relationship with. I have a bad history as I've been raped by a someone I thought was my friend, and cheated on by my past two boyfriends.) My objective at this point was to get him back. Because like I said before, he always came back, so when he didn't this time...I was scared.

 

The day before I got blocked, I was at his place, and made another mistake by sleeping with him. He stopped it because he hates taking advantage of people. I offered to wash his sheets. He took the offer. I came back after they were done, and basically we had yet another fight. More physical. It ended with his mirror (that was already broken), shattering. Again, I feel bad, but when I realize he had no words and just wanted me out, I left. I went home that night, and was just DEPRESSED. I wasn't in my right mind so much, filled with emotions, that I contemplated suicide. And even though I thought I would never hurt myself, that's exactly what I did. I cut my arm, and again, made another mistake by sending him a picture of it. - Now I'm not exactly sure why I did this, but thinking about it today, I believe I was just looking for him to care. I sent him texts with the pictures, and I honestly don't remember what they said...as I wasn't in my right mind anyway. All he said back was "What do you want." And I knew then that he wasn't happy, still. I tried calling, and that's when I realized - he blocked my number. Facebook, blocked. Fun Run (lol), blocked. Everything, blocked.

 

So yeah. It was a slap to my face. I never thought he would do something like that. A part of me has moved on, but a part of me just wants my friend back. I can honestly say that I wish we never dated.

 

But what do I do now? I keep thinking he'll come back when when we're older, but what are the chances? He said he doesn't hate me, but I don't think I would be blocked if that was the case.

[aisuru]

You need therapy. NOW.

 

You cannot love somebody or even allow somebody to love you properly when you clearly do not love yourself.

 

Therapy. STAT.

 

Forget him. He is doing you a favor.

 

Time for you to put yourself first. If you don't put yourself first, nobody else will.

 

Stop relying on boyfriends or relationships to fix you or permit you to hide from what you need to confront and deal with inside yourself.

 

Therapy. I highly recommend it. If it could turn me around, it can turn you around. Greatest investment in myself I ever made.

[Balzac]

I cannot see how an abusive relationship "ended" is a dilemma.

When I read the words "promise ring" my first thought is you are a teenager.

 

You need to heal yourself and consider this guy "gone".

[far_far_away]

I know there is nothing I can say to make it better.

 

But please don't hurt yourself, and if you think you are tell anyone.

 

It wont make him care anymore, it will just freak him out. Trust me, I have the scars and the hospital visits to prove it. When I was young I had this ex that I still slept with after we broke up and drove me crazy, I was already cutting but I did it so much worse because I thought it would make him care. It didn't I just became this crazy girl. I still have the scars (14 stitches) and I carry them 7 years later much to my shame. Every relationship I have to explain them, people ask about them I have to hide them at work.

 

Please if I can help you with anything, please please don't hurt yourself, it is NEVER worth it. I would give the world to take it back.

[seasonschange]

I understand.

I think I'm just looking for closure, as to why he is blocking me.

I'm already in the process of moving on.

I just don't like the fact that I meant a lot to someone one day, and literally the next day can be nothing.

 

But I guess that's life.

[seasonschange]

I know there is nothing I can say to make it better.

 

But please don't hurt yourself, and if you think you are tell anyone.

 

It wont make him care anymore, it will just freak him out. Trust me, I have the scars and the hospital visits to prove it. When I was young I had this ex that I still slept with after we broke up and drove me crazy, I was already cutting but I did it so much worse because I thought it would make him care. It didn't I just became this crazy girl. I still have the scars (14 stitches) and I carry them 7 years later much to my shame. Every relationship I have to explain them, people ask about them I have to hide them at work.

 

Please if I can help you with anything, please please don't hurt yourself, it is NEVER worth it. I would give the world to take it back.

 

The one time I did it was my first and last time. Promise. I just wasn't in a good place at that moment. And I just really wanted him back in my life.

 

I hate that I'll probably never hear from him again.

[far_far_away]

i know its hard, and the worst thing in the world. But you will get through it.

 

I am going through it now

 

But I can tell you the boy I thought was worth hurting myself over is nothing to me now. I survived it and you will too.

[omit]

8 months, if you are indeed so young as some one above pointed out, don't worry about it. Break ups and breaking up is something you may well do many times before you meet the right person. It sucks either way little by little you will learn bit each time that will help.

 

In short don't worry

[Balzac]

"Moving On" means putting focus on yourself. As long as you

are talking/thinking/guessing about him ~ you're failing to move

on.

[seasonschange]

Yeah, I'll be 22 next month.

 

Every time try to move on, something else reminds me of him. I keep relapsing. But I guess I gotta try harder.

[Kay_29]

First things first im sorry for all the pain your going through its something that we all experience a few times, your not alone we all hit road blocks like this, at some point we experience an abundance of pain when someone we love leaves, you may feel like the worlds over but give yourself some time to cry till you cant cry anymore go through the motions and grieve. My suggestion like mentioned from the last reply... you should talk to someone you trust about your emotions and cry on there shoulder or even seek professional help, there are family and friends that wouldnt want to see you hurt you still have so much life ahead of you and better relationships. Take time and dont beat yourself up to much everyday will get better.

[aisuru]

Yeah, I'll be 22 next month.

 

Every time try to move on, something else reminds me of him. I keep relapsing. But I guess I gotta try harder.

 

You can't always go it alone. A professional therapist can help you.

 

Did you ever deal with the feelings from the rape? I'm guessing not. Did you deal with how you felt after the cheating boyfriends? I'm guessing not.

 

Now you're resorting to inflicting pain, violent fights, and thoughts of suicide because somebody is leaving you. You feel rejected and abandoned.

 

A professional can help you work through your feelings and discover coping methods that work for YOU.

 

Until you deal with this, you will continue to cycle through relationships in this manner, layering on more and more feelings of abandonment. It's not healthy in the long run and not worth running from.

 

It's time for you to love yourself. Nobody else is going to love you until you love yourself.

 

How do you think I know this?

[seasonschange]

You can't always go it alone. A professional therapist can help you.

 

Did you ever deal with the feelings from the rape? I'm guessing not. Did you deal with how you felt after the cheating boyfriends? I'm guessing not.

 

Now you're resorting to inflicting pain, violent fights, and thoughts of suicide because somebody is leaving you. You feel rejected and abandoned.

 

A professional can help you work through your feelings and discover coping methods that work for YOU.

 

Until you deal with this, you will continue to cycle through relationships in this manner, layering on more and more feelings of abandonment. It's not healthy in the long run and not worth running from.

 

It's time for you to love yourself. Nobody else is going to love you until you love yourself.

 

How do you think I know this?

 

I've talked to someone about those situations, including this one. Its kind of like the same thing over and over. I've talked to friends as well. Family, I'm kind of scared to talk to about this situation because I did hurt myself and I don't want them to be worried about that. I just gotta find the right person to talk to. In the end, I feel like the people I have talked to about it, are tired of hearing about it.

[aisuru]

I've talked to someone about those situations, including this one. Its kind of like the same thing over and over. I've talked to friends as well. Family, I'm kind of scared to talk to about this situation because I did hurt myself and I don't want them to be worried about that. I just gotta find the right person to talk to. In the end, I feel like the people I have talked to about it, are tired of hearing about it.

 

I am glad to hear you have reached out to somebody. Time to find the right someone. Yes, friends get tired of hearing all the crazy thoughts in our heads.

 

That's why we pay somebody who is neutral, and professionally trained.

 

It's so hard, yet so worth it.

 

You've acknowledged you have a problem. Now you learn how to not let it overshadow your potential. You're still so young and have so much life to live. You will be okay if you put yourself first and take care of yourself.

[seasonschange]

I am glad to hear you have reached out to somebody. Time to find the right someone. Yes, friends get tired of hearing all the crazy thoughts in our heads.

 

That's why we pay somebody who is neutral, and professionally trained.

 

It's so hard, yet so worth it.

 

You've acknowledged you have a problem. Now you learn how to not let it overshadow your potential. You're still so young and have so much life to live. You will be okay if you put yourself first and take care of yourself.

 

You're right. And that's exactly what I'll do. I even told myself to just stop looking to be in a relationship for a while and just work on myself and my career.

[Quiet Storm]

You need help.

 

You thought about suicide and chose to harm yourself. You sent him the picture of your cuts as a manipulation tactic. To punish him. To show him "Look at what you made me do". To get a reaction out of him.

 

He is smart to remove himself from the situation. The relationship was not healthy. You are not healthy. He knows that you would not make a good partner for a relationship.

 

You need professional help. Look up Borderline Personality Disorder. I am NOT saying that you are Borderline. But your history, the trauma of the rape, the self harm, the manipulation, the lashing out when you feel abandoned... those traits are common with the disorder. Even if you don't have it, you need help. You should be evaluated by a professional, so that you can get the help that you need.

 

Your actions do have consequences, and I think you have scared him away. You need learn how to regulate your emotions so that you don't react like this in your next relationship. All relationships have arguments and problems, but if you can't deal with it in a healthy way, it can get physcial or self destructive. You may not be capable of handling a relationship right now. Therapy can give you the tools you need to cope with relationship problems. It can help you learn to be OK on your own.

[seasonschange]

You need help.

 

You thought about suicide and chose to harm yourself. You sent him the picture of your cuts as a manipulation tactic. To punish him. To show him "Look at what you made me do". To get a reaction out of him.

 

He is smart to remove himself from the situation. The relationship was not healthy. You are not healthy. He knows that you would not make a good partner for a relationship.

 

You need professional help. Look up Borderline Personality Disorder. I am NOT saying that you are Borderline. But your history, the trauma of the rape, the self harm, the manipulation, the lashing out when you feel abandoned... those traits are common with the disorder. Even if you don't have it, you need help. You should be evaluated by a professional, so that you can get the help that you need.

 

Your actions do have consequences, and I think you have scared him away. You need learn how to regulate your emotions so that you don't react like this in your next relationship. All relationships have arguments and problems, but if you can't deal with it in a healthy way, it can get physcial or self destructive. You may not be capable of handling a relationship right now. Therapy can give you the tools you need to cope with relationship problems. It can help you learn to be OK on your own.

 

Well, it wasn't to make him feel bad. I wanted to see if he would care if I was gone or not. I thought I said that. -_- I never wanted to "punish him".

 

And I'm honestly okay, now. lol. The suicide thing happened about 4-5 weeks ago. I'm simply posting here to see if there was a chance that he will ever come back, not for a relationship, but friendship/acquaintance. I do miss him, but that's just because I'm a caring person.

[aisuru]

Well, it wasn't to make him feel bad. I wanted to see if he would care if I was gone or not. I thought I said that. -_- I never wanted to "punish him".

 

 

It was manipulative and wrong. Of course it was to guilt him, make him feel bad, and come crawling back to you.

 

Own it.

[seasonschange]

It was manipulative and wrong. Of course it was to guilt him, make him feel bad, and come crawling back to you.

 

Own it.

I guess I didn't see it that way.

 

Like I said in the original post, I wasn't in my right mind. I never reacted like that before. And it was just the fact that I lost the one guy I actually really cared about, I couldn't think straight. Most of the things are a blur to me.

[aisuru]

I guess I didn't see it that way.

 

Like I said in the original post, I wasn't in my right mind. I never reacted like that before. And it was just the fact that I lost the one guy I actually really cared about, I couldn't think straight. Most of the things are a blur to me.

 

Believe me, I understand.

 

I threatened suicide once to an ex-boyfriend in my late teens. He came to my house, picked me up, and took me to the ER. And believe me, I had a LOT of **** to get over from my childhood and college days. Not the reaction I was looking for when I cried wolf to him. I just wanted him to LOOOOVEEEE meeeee. Cause you know, I didn't love myself.

 

Never pulled that stunt again. After that I started therapy. Turned my life around.

 

That's all you can hope for now. It will help clear some of that fog and retrain yourself on how to manage your emotions.

 

The reality in life is that you will be rejected and "abandoned" at other times. You have to learn that it's not always about you (well, sometimes it is, ) and accept that friendships, relationships, and people will come in and out of your life a lot until the day you die. Learn what you can from them, embrace them, and honor them when they end.

[seasonschange]

Yeah, I know.

 

I just helped myself out by deleting every picture of him.

Lol. I don't know why they were still there.

 

I mean, I guess I have no choice but to move on since I have no way in anyway.

[Quiet Storm]

Well, it wasn't to make him feel bad. I wanted to see if he would care if I was gone or not. I thought I said that. -_- I never wanted to "punish him".

 

Whether to punish, or to see if he cares, it was done to get a reaction out of him, which is manipulative. You tried the other tools in your toolbox to get him to care, and they didn't work, so you upped the ante.

 

Harming yourself means that you are not well. Harming yourself or threatening to harm yourself in order to create feelings in people or get reactions out of people is not healthy. I know you say that was weeks ago, but what will you do the next time you feel this way? What are the underlying issues that prompted your behavior? It will benefit you over your entire lifetime if you make the effort to figure this out.

 

No, I don't think he will come back to be friends. Your behavior has changed his opinion of you. The dynamic has changed. He can never be real or freely express his feelings because you've shown that you have the potential to harm yourself. Leave him alone.

 

You need to work on yourself before you get involved again. Relationships will have arguments. People break up. You need to learn healthy coping skills so that you can handle these problems without harming yourself. At that moment in time, your emotions overwhelmed you and caused you to act out. You should be concerned about why that happened. Your focus is skewed.

 

I'm know you don't see it, but I'm genuinely trying to help.

[seasonschange]

Whether to punish, or to see if he cares, it was done to get a reaction out of him, which is manipulative. You tried the other tools in your toolbox to get him to care, and they didn't work, so you upped the ante.

 

Harming yourself means that you are not well. Harming yourself or threatening to harm yourself in order to create feelings in people or get reactions out of people is not healthy. I know you say that was weeks ago, but what will you do the next time you feel this way? What are the underlying issues that prompted your behavior? It will benefit you over your entire lifetime if you make the effort to figure this out.

 

No, I don't think he will come back to be friends. Your behavior has changed his opinion of you. The dynamic has changed. He can never be real or freely express his feelings because you've shown that you have the potential to harm yourself. Leave him alone.

 

You need to work on yourself before you get involved again. Relationships will have arguments. People break up. You need to learn healthy coping skills so that you can handle these problems without harming yourself. At that moment in time, your emotions overwhelmed you and caused you to act out. You should be concerned about why that happened. Your focus is skewed.

 

I'm know you don't see it, but I'm genuinely trying to help.

I know you're trying to help. I see that.

 

I've already told myself that I'm not gonna date for a while because I do need to focus on myself.

 

I know people break up. I know there will be arguments. I was just generally hurt because I felt that I finally had a good thing and in the end, I lost it for what reason? I don't know.

 

He probably won't come back. And for that I'm fine. Would it be nice? Of course it would. I appreciated the friendship we had, the relationship was extra. I appreciated it more because we had so much it common and could joke about things that we could with others. That's why I care so much.

 

I've already started the process of moving on and I'm sure it takes more than just a day to stop thinking about him.

 

The situation was too much as it all happened when we were graduating from college. It was hard for me to focus on that when I knew that I would be leaving him soon. I was trying to fix things before I went back to Georgia. I didn't want there to be a greater distance between us. But now there is. But now, in the end, I've left him alone. It's not like I have a choice anyway. I can't contact him. lol.

[aisuru]

I felt that I finally had a good thing and in the end, I lost it for what reason? I don't know.

 

You weren't ready for a relationship. Gotta love yourself first.

 

So what steps are you going to take to be ready for the next great guy that comes along?

[seasonschange]

You weren't ready for a relationship. Gotta love yourself first.

 

So what steps are you going to take to be ready for the next great guy that comes along?

Not date for quite a while. Make new hobbies. Focus on me.