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Does the dumper ever miss the dumpee?


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My bf broke up with me 12 days ago claiming he wasn't ready/mature for a relationship. I'm 18 and he's 17. He was kind of a bad bf and I led the relationship mostly. He was always busy and felt like I was unhappy with that and was too negative about it. He said he just didn't want a relationship and won't until college. He said he sometimes thought "I didn't need this" or could "do without it" as in our problems. Which wern't problems but to him it was. I wasn't totally shocked but I was mad because I could've ended it months ago but chose not to because I thought he was worth it and that we had potential. We dated for over a year and I went above and beyond for him! He acts very weird when we're around each other and doesn't talk to me at all. He claimed he still liked me but idk. It wasn't a super bad break up but I feel bad I fell for a boy when I needed a man. I gave him way too many chances and then this happened. We did care for each other a lot and we were each others first bf/gf.

 

Do you think he misses me or ever will? Why do you think he's ignoring me so much in person? Does he feel guilty? He told his friend he feels bad. I know we need space and aren't gonna be bff's right away but I'm trying to make this as less awkward as possible. I'm slowly moving on but still miss us. We did have a lot of fun memories together.

 

He's also leaving all summer to work with his family and he sister said he didn't want to leave me alone all summer. But idk if that's true cause he would've said that and a couple months ago we agreed we'd pull through that. But then again he was nerveous as heck when we broke up and wanted to get it done with.

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Idk tink. I ubderstand your mad because he left you but you post seems kind of condescending and you have one sentence where you completely invalidate his feelngs. "They weren't problems but to him they were" pretty much says "his opinions don't matter" so I have to ask if you treated him as good as you thought you did?

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Ordinaryday

Of course they do, but rarely in the way you would like them to miss you. I learned that if they do miss you it's more in a nostalgic 'oh I wonder how they are going these days, it was nice talking to them' than in the meaningful 'I want them back' type way.

 

What I learned is this: provided you still have the same number/Facebook/email address/etc that you had when the dumped you then they KNOW how to contact you. If them missing you was so bad that they wanted you back THEY WOULD CONTACT YOU TO LET YOU KNOW.

 

the fact that they have not contacted means they don't want you back, as harsh as it sounds.

 

So even if they are feeling a little nostalgic about how you're going, it is meaningless unless they want you back. In m case she never did.

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travelonic

the fact that they have not contacted means they don't want you back, as harsh as it sounds.

.

 

but keep in mind..

 

it's ONLY been 12 days for the OP.

 

Often, depending on a lot of factors of course, it takes MUCH, MUCH longer than that.

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They do, my ex confessed last weekend that she misses me like crazy, but that hasn't been enough to bring her back.

 

When I dumped my first girlfriend, I began to miss her quite a lot after maybe 3 months, but again it wasn't enough for me to reach out to her.

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