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Does it take longer for guys to miss their ex?


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My bf broke up with me 10 days ago saying he wasn't ready/mature for a relationship. He just couldn't handle a relationship and was busy alot. And some other stuff added to it. I got told by everyone I was a great gf. We're not talking and he is ignoring me right now. I think he's trying to move on and doesn't miss me right now. Does it take longer for guys to miss their ex? We dated over a year and had some great memories and were a pretty good couple minus some complications caused by his business and age. Do guys ever miss their ex? At one point we cared a lot about each other.

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soccerrprp

Of course guys miss their exes. Spend a little more time around LS and you'll see all too clearly! :)

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Do guys ever miss their ex?

Usually only if they break up with us. Or we break up with you for someone else and that someone else doesn't turn out to be all that great.

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mtnbiker3000
My bf broke up with me 10 days ago saying he wasn't ready/mature for a relationship. He just couldn't handle a relationship and was busy alot. And some other stuff added to it. I got told by everyone I was a great gf. We're not talking and he is ignoring me right now. I think he's trying to move on and doesn't miss me right now. Does it take longer for guys to miss their ex? We dated over a year and had some great memories and were a pretty good couple minus some complications caused by his business and age. Do guys ever miss their ex? At one point we cared a lot about each other.

 

The answer to what I think you are asking is it depends on the emotional investment by each partner. If he was heavily invested, it will effect him more and vice versa...

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in his situation I don't know

 

but in general when guys DO miss a girl, they just deal with it differently.

They might love you to death and not contact you.

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FailedFirstLove

In my experience with my guy friends and ex bf. they do start

Feeling sorrow and miss you. But they just suppress it. Play games makes them not think for awhile. It's sad I know... I wish they would just feel it and show it

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cavalier99

Dumpers (guys and girls) dont really miss us like you are thinking.

 

They are happy to be out and relieved. It took some guts to BU and they dont want to revisit the past. Sure they might eventually miss you some or view the time with you fondly but it doesnt mean they will ever want back. They rarley do. Cav

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Trust me, he misses you but don't find any type of comfort in that. If he did love you and if he seemed to care when it ended, then he does miss you. What I've learned from general experience, romantic novels, movies and Psychology books haha is that SOME or even MOST men handle their emotions differently.

 

My ex misses me and that was hard for me to believe until he found reasons to text or email. I totally messed up NC and we talked for over an hour, where he kept saying "I've been dying to tell you this..." and said he loves me multiple times. Where before that he was acting heartless and still is. Talking/seeing other women (who knows?), taking a lot of time to acknowledge the sweet things I did for him and kind of ignoring me.

 

It really sucks but he probably does miss you. I've been the dumper before and missed my exes. I can't say how intensely he misses you, since that really depends but I'm sure you are on his mind still.

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Its really not a gender thing at all. I'm a guy, and like many on here I miss my ex like crazy. I wouldn't even go as far as to say that all guys process there emotions differently. After spending enough time on LS, reading posts from women I can certainly relate to their pain just as equally.

 

It comes down to who the dumper is, and I think most often the ones who do the dumping have checked out emotionally long ago. You can be sure that he still thinks of you, but as has been said, not in the same way you do, and not enough to do anything about it.

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HuffmanMontana
Dumpers (guys and girls) dont really miss us like you are thinking.

 

They are happy to be out and relieved. It took some guts to BU and they dont want to revisit the past. Sure they might eventually miss you some or view the time with you fondly but it doesnt mean they will ever want back. They rarley do. Cav

 

At least three of my exes have told me...

 

I made a huge mistake, You were the best BF I ever had, the list goes on.

 

0 = The number of exes who have ever told me we should try dating again. This includes the exes who have asked me to hangout and the exes I've hooked up with.

 

Not one has ever mentioned reconciliation.

 

There is just something about that spark when two people fall for each other that is either really hard or impossible to rekindle. Reconnecting with an ex seems more like a mutual agreement built on settling rather than falling in love.

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Yes, it does indeed take men longer to miss a woman. It is because of the brain differences. It takes men a lot longer to process a loss. There is a book "Getting to I Do" by Dr. Pat Allen, which goes into great detail about the brain differences of men and women. It was written in the 1990's and you can probably buy it on Amazon. She says it can take men up to two months to fully realize a loss of a woman.

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mtnbiker3000

I said it before and i'll say it again. It's about emotional investment. The more invested, the more hurt and loss felt at the end of the BU. Usually, the dumper has decreased their investment way down by the BU, while the dumpee has not. Therefore, as others have mentioned, the dumpee feels much more pain and misses the ex much more than the dumper... Being a man or woman doesn't matter. Just ask of the men here on LS, me included!!

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Yes, it does indeed take men longer to miss a woman. It is because of the brain differences. It takes men a lot longer to process a loss. There is a book "Getting to I Do" by Dr. Pat Allen, which goes into great detail about the brain differences of men and women. It was written in the 1990's and you can probably buy it on Amazon. She says it can take men up to two months to fully realize a loss of a woman.

 

Im sorry, but that's just laughable. You can't honestly believe that.

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The dumpee takes longer to move on. It has nothing to do with gender.

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HuffmanMontana
Yes, it does indeed take men longer to miss a woman. It is because of the brain differences. It takes men a lot longer to process a loss. There is a book "Getting to I Do" by Dr. Pat Allen, which goes into great detail about the brain differences of men and women. It was written in the 1990's and you can probably buy it on Amazon. She says it can take men up to two months to fully realize a loss of a woman.

 

Wrong. I missed my ex from day 1.

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My bf broke up with me 10 days ago saying he wasn't ready/mature for a relationship. He just couldn't handle a relationship and was busy alot. And some other stuff added to it. I got told by everyone I was a great gf. We're not talking and he is ignoring me right now. I think he's trying to move on and doesn't miss me right now. Does it take longer for guys to miss their ex? We dated over a year and had some great memories and were a pretty good couple minus some complications caused by his business and age. Do guys ever miss their ex? At one point we cared a lot about each other.

 

missing you isnt the issue here. he dumped you, that means he doesnt want to be with you, and he isn't going to be concerning himself with "missing you".

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jkepler85

Exactly...^^^^ the dumper was unhappy for some valid or invalid reason. I think many times they do miss you even right away, but they've been justifying, validating, and re-writing history in their head for so long that they are just relieved.

 

Go NC and let yourself recover, a few weeks or months. That amount of time is nothing if they want to be with you somewhere deep down. I have very recently been where you are and it hurts and it's hard as hell. I still have bad days too. But the bad days are fewer and fewer. Believe me if they saw breaking up as the better option for them, then they really don't want you around right now or maybe ever again. So, give them what they want, you not being in their life at all.

 

Read, workout, hang with friends, talk to your parents and friends, cry your eyes out, reflect on things you can do to be a better partner for the next person, change things up, take a new hobby, take a trip, meet new friends. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

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conzboneeus

Thanks Jkepler. Your post helped me. I am on day 2, a guy, a dumpee, and had a lot emotionally invested. Yup, she was heading for the dump and prepared herself I sensed it the weeks before.

 

Fell in love too hard too fast. I know better. But the heart doesn't. Friggin hurts like hell but good post and if they don't want you around then no reason to be around. Bingo.

 

This coming from an gym rat alpha male who can't believe he is in this spot. Well at least we are not alone and "pain is inevitable but suffering is not" is great advice. NC is hard but I'm actually going to visit my brother in Florida for a week (or two) and hand on the beach. That will help the NC part. But I have to come back sooner or later....

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