Feeling lost and no hope

[Sammy87]

Hi there,

 

Let me tell you my story.

 

I was with my ex boyfriend for 1 and a half year. He broke up with me 6weeks ago without any reason just said he don't love me anymore. He moved out off our rental apartment 4weeks ago. I later found out after he move out that i am 6 weeks pregnant at the time. He said to me he have nothing to do with me but he will keep in contact with me when the baby is born.

 

We been having problems before he broke up with me due flighting over his co-worker he is working with. She always texted my ex boyfriend at night, hang out after work and out drinking together. I asked him if there is anything going on between them and he said they are just friends and she got a boyfriend and i should have nothing to worry. I think he left me because of her and i later found out yesterday that they have been sleeping together multiple times after he broke up with me and she is aware that i'm pregnant with him. She also broke up with her boyfriend as well.

 

I am now 2months pregnant and my ex don't take any responsible for me being pregnant at all! He told me that he wanted to be a part of his child and want me to send baby pictures to him but will not do anything more than this.

 

I felt lost and alone. I can't believe he will do this to me. Please help!

[grace777]

So to state the obvious, he's an ass. But the silver lining in this is that you will have a beautiful baby. This baby will be all yours, to cuddle with, adore and to love. And it will love you too, more than anyone else, arguably for the rest of its life. Raising a child is hard no matter what. The fact that you'll be raising yours as a single-parent is a challenge, but one that TONS of people take on and thrive at.

 

You'll be fine. Do not hang on to this guy. Think of how he's treating you. Do you want him to treat your child this way in the future? No. So, you do you. Get yourself surrounded by supportive friends and family. Move forward. Wow, your life is about to get so, so, sooo much better. I'm very happy for you. Congratulations!

 

Let the douchbag go! He has a right to see his baby if he wants to, but don't force it. You may also want to find a lawyer so that you can set yourself up now in order to prevent complications with this idiot in the future.

 

I'm so sorry you are heartbroken now. How he's been acting and what he did (probably cheated) is so lame. But you are about to be overjoyed with heartwarming feelings now, and for the rest of your life. It's time now to switch your focus.

 

Good luck to you. I know you'll be happy in the long run.

[TaraMaiden]

He has a right to see his baby if he wants to, but don't force it.

 

Not so.

He has far fewer rights than a married dad.

If he wants to see his child, it will have to be with her agreement and consent, and by arrangement with her. He has no right to muscle in. he would have to take the legal route, but this may not be productive.

 

You may also want to find a lawyer so that you can set yourself up now in order to prevent complications with this idiot in the future.

There will be no 'complications with this idiot'. All she needs is a court order compelling him to pay child support.

If he wants to see the child, he may take the legal route, but then again, he may lose interest in time.

 

 

Good luck to you. I know you'll be happy in the long run.

This is BS.

There are no guarantees that single parenthood brings happiness.

Sure, there is fulfilment, but it's a tough line to follow, and bloody hard work.

Which is why it's important to ensure the father commits financially to assist in the raising of the child. Fresh air doesn't feed, clothe, educate and nurture.

 

OP, the father may well not want anything else to do with you.

I'm sorry for that, it can't be changed.

But assert yourself with regard to the child.

It's yours, you have dominant control over the matter, so make sure you get your security in place when the time comes.

He says he wants to keep contact, and have pictures. Fine. make sure you slap a child support order on him at the same time.

 

That will bring him to his senses, and let him see that it takes more than 'baby pictures' to be a parent.

[grace777]

Well hello there Tara - nice choice in your photo btw

 

Anyways my point, OP, is yes, this guy is a douche. He probably won't be around. You have to accept that and move on. And yes, being a single mother may be difficult. However, it may not be that hard (in relative terms to parenting in general) - I have many friends with kids and a couple who are single parents, and they are happy and fulfilled.

 

Mostly I wanted to communicate that you have a tremendous blessing coming your way in 7 more months. I just wanted you to focus on that.

 

And my advice to seek legal counsel is not a bad idea. You need to know what your rights are (other than what people say on this site). And you need to know how to protect yourself if it should ever be a problem. It's always good to arm yourself, even if you don't need it later.