So painful..

[shatteredworld]

Everyone tells me that it's not normal how long my pain has been going on for and how extreme it is. We broke up 2 1/2 months ago, he told me he cheated on me then ended it. He told me he wouldn't need his heart unless we were together, etc. Then got a new girlfriend weeks later.

 

Every time I remember these things, or anything about him I get this deep sinking feeling still. The pain is so great that I guess you can say I don't want to keep on going anymore. I try not to think about these things but it just will come up all day everyday. I am completely in NC, blocked every way of seeing anything about him or talk to him. But the pain is still so extreme. I just can't understand why he doesn't want me and whether or not he was lying to me and how he feels. I guess you could say the usual things we think about

 

I just want the pain to go away, the pain from losing the one I loved and the pain from knowing how much I didn't matter. I just had so many questions left unanswered too and it doesn't help me get over it when I can't seem to figure it out!

 

I guess I'm just venting cause no one seems to want to hear it anymore.

[iouaname]

What is 'not normal' about your pain? Two and a half months is not that much time, and you're doing what you should be doing in working towards getting over him.

 

Sometimes we have the perception that people are tired of hearing us - I feel the same way and have decided not to bring it up anymore to people in my real life and just to vent it here.

 

I'm sorry for what has happened to you

[mtnbiker3000]

Yeah, 2.5 months is about where I am at as well, and it still stings like a M'er F'er!!! I am nowhere near over it, and think I won't be for a while longer yet. Know you are NOT alone. Seek camaraderie here on LS. It helps!!!

[shatteredworld]

What is 'not normal' about your pain? Two and a half months is not that much time, and you're doing what you should be doing in working towards getting over him.

 

Sometimes we have the perception that people are tired of hearing us - I feel the same way and have decided not to bring it up anymore to people in my real life and just to vent it here.

 

I'm sorry for what has happened to you

 

I guess the part where I "want" to die from it. My friend who I've vented to told me that it's not normal that I'm feeling that way 2 and a half months later. I've been told many times I should be over it all by now, yet I am still far from it!

[IS IT Better late]

I hate when people tell me same thing in my life. Ohh just get over it and move on there's plenty of other girls out there. Logically it's true but you can't tell me how I feel and I'm sure you feel the same. I was so messed up by this, never experienced anything like this before.

 

Because my relationship was short everybody who thinks logically doesn't understand why this turned me upside down so much. But hears why, it's been many, many years since I've like a girl as much as this one, and things were going great and it turned on me so quickly. So I go from as happy as pig in you know what to feeling as low as human can feel in this all happen in a few weeks time.

 

Yeah we should all just get over it! C'mon not realistic. Take baby steps, that's my plan.

[shatteredworld]

I hate when people tell me same thing in my life. Ohh just get over it and move on there's plenty of other girls out there. Logically it's true but you can't tell me how I feel and I'm sure you feel the same. I was so messed up by this, never experienced anything like this before.

 

Because my relationship was short everybody who thinks logically doesn't understand why this turned me upside down so much. But hears why, it's been many, many years since I've like a girl as much as this one, and things were going great and it turned on me so quickly. So I go from as happy as pig in you know what to feeling as low as human can feel in this all happen in a few weeks time.

 

Yeah we should all just get over it! C'mon not realistic. Take baby steps, that's my plan.

 

 

This is pretty much exactly how mine was. It wasn't a really long relationship, but it got serious really fast. We spent all of our time together, we were best friends then within a few weeks it all turned upside down. He told me he loved me for the first time 5 weeks before he cheated on me. 5 weeks. And then 2 weeks after that he's with a new girl? How am I not supposed to be confused and still in pain?

[shatteredworld]

I just met up with some friends and of course one of them says that I just got out of a relationship recently. The other says it's been a long time and continues to make it seem like I shouldn't even care.

 

Even hearing his name makes me so sad. It's hard living in a world where I am the only one who still feels anything about this relationship and even acknowledges how important it was to me.

 

I just constantly feel like my feelings aren't justified and I have to constantly pretend I'm over him when I'm dying inside. And here my ex is with some girl right after he tells me how much he loves me.

 

So here I am on LS speaking of him and how I feel about it cause the world has moved on and I'm stuck here lost and alone without the one person I've ever cared about.

[suladas]

Sorry to hear you're having a rough go of it. 2 1/2 months is not a long time at all, it is completely normal to still be down about it. True feelings for someone don't just go away overnight. I never did talk about it to friends or family, I just pretended I was fine. I vented about it here, I found it better. Focus on yourself and keep busy and you will forget about them in no time

 

Heck at 8 months I seen my ex with someone new and that still hurt a bit. Don't feel bad for having feelings, there's nothing wrong with it.

[Thames Dweller]

keep your head up dear. its tough i know, my ex moved on within a few weeks and already is dating someone, potentially serious apparently and I like you feel very much alone and hurt considering we were together for 2.5yrs.

 

its horrible to think that they didnt value you and the whole relationship was a sham.

 

all we can do is keep moving and take solace in the fact that people do move on and recover, thats all i have to hang on too and to just keep on fighting through the pain and hurt, im convinced it will strengthen your character in the end of the long hard road.

[LoveB86]

Hang on shattedworld,

 

If it puts even a tad bit of perspective in your thoughts. He vanished from my life for a week only to blindsided with a "he needs space/time to think text. Found out he cheated, whether he was with her or was talking to her, he cheated on me. Left me for her and said to her that he never was with me, he never dated me, that I meant nothing to him. I treated this man like treasure, and the nerve of him to say something so hurtful after us being together for a year. BTW, I work across the street from them, it was a co-worker who I happened to had talked to before. He remains NC since the breakup. Heh, he must truly was over me.

 

This happened 3 weeks ago and can honestly say, as nasty and hurtful our breakups were, one day, you will be able to cope thru this and it will be far behind you. I just want to say it is okay that you are still hurt from this, there is no time limit as to "getting over it". Just keep reminding yourself/coach yourself that you will get thru the day, sad or mad.

 

That is what I do everyday, and I have some low moments too. I stay NC like him. I feel numb as I see all the hurt. I saw the flowers he bought her on her desk, He made her his girlfriend after dumping me and introduce her to his family so fast, I saw them talking together, I saw him walk past me like he had no sympathy to acknowledge me.. no sorry... no nothing. He just is full of ignorance, arrogant, heartless, and a coward.

 

I face all of it, it was meant to be for me to hear and see all of this in 3 weeks. I am getting thru this ONE DAY AT A TIME. I will cry, vent all I can till there is nothing left. It is the way I cope and WE will get thru this. I am sorry you are hurt, but I want you to know you will be strong. I promise.

[LoveB86]

Put YOURSELF first hun. Don't worry about anybody else and how long it took them to get over their breakups and whatever. This is now the time to focus on YOU to getting your life back. Remember, you deserve just as much love and attention as much as he is getting. Remember your self worth. I just barely realize how important I am and the nerve of me to put this man over me! I have to remind myself that he is no longer my priority. He was just a extra! It's my time to get ME back.

[TheFriend]

Fr anyone who has those stinging pains i would recommend finding a therapist who can perform EMDR. Google it. I had this done and he made me completely numb to the pain and gut punch feelings that i used to have.