Amber2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 My boyfriend of 5 years left me for another woman because he said he wasn't happy because i argue and nagg to much never gave him space so he left me for a co worker of his but the thing is ... He told me he wanted space so i guess it was to be with her ? Im heart broken idk what to do:( Link to post Share on other sites
ForeverHopeful1 Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 Oh my dear... I just want to hug you!!! I feel so horrible hearing this. What a ****ty ****ty thing to do to someone. :sick: Link to post Share on other sites
singme2sleep Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 I too learned the hard way that "I want to be alone, I need space" just means they are cowards and can't find the courage to just say they want out. Chin up...read my signature! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
iouaname Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 I too learned the hard way that "I want to be alone, I need space" just means they are cowards and can't find the courage to just say they want out. ! Yup, exactly. They try to ease themselves out of the relationship by being 'nice,' because they feel it somehow inflicts less damage overall. I'm so sorry that you're going through this The best thing that you can do is cut all ties with him and try your best to move on from there. It's going to be tough and sad and hard but it's really all you can do! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
singme2sleep Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 Yup, exactly. They try to ease themselves out of the relationship by being 'nice,' because they feel it somehow inflicts less damage overall. And to diminish some of their guilt! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 Yup, my ex pulled the same thing after 3 years. He wanted space, he needed to "figure himself out." Too bad mere weeks after dumping me I find out he is/was messing with a coworker at his new job. I'm pretty sure he was cheating on me with her, or at least emotionally cheated and he def left me for her. She's just a rebound. Something new and shiny to play with. Complete NC. If you remain in his life it'll cement their bond. If you completely go away, it'll rock their foundation more. I guarantee you that whatever they have isn't going to last, but don't hope for him back. He already left for someone else. That shows he's not happy with you and he'll just do it again if you two were to get back together. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LoveB86 Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 (edited) I got dumped for a co worker that works with him. They both work across the street from me. Their now happily bf and gf of 3 weeks. Everybody that knew us cannot believe what he did. Even his best friends cannot believe he hurt me because I was so good to him. I know I didn't do anything wrong and he knows it, his guilt for banging 2 women caught up to him and decided to let me go. I was blindsided and didn't even know he was cheating! Never again. He's a coward and and is seriously the devil. Whatever this girl did to him in 3 weeks, she changed him and everybody hates him now. I miss him, I once loved him, but now I am wearing an invisible crown. Keeping my head up as high when he comes to my store as I will come out stronger after this! It's hard Oh and BTW, he said he needed "time away, too much on his mind and needed a trip to get away". Yep, he was tired of playing us both and decided to choose her because she is "Shiny and New". Even her reputation is known as a "attention wh*re" at work. Sadly, this is coming out of everyone elses mouth. I don't even know her. Edited April 23, 2013 by LoveB86 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LoveB86 Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 She's just a rebound. Something new and shiny to play with. Complete NC. If you remain in his life it'll cement their bond. If you completely go away, it'll rock their foundation more. I guarantee you that whatever they have isn't going to last, but don't hope for him back. He already left for someone else. That shows he's not happy with you and he'll just do it again if you two were to get back together. I keep hearing people say rebound or it won't last. Why wouldn't it if that person wanted out to be with the other? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 I keep hearing people say rebound or it won't last. Why wouldn't it if that person wanted out to be with the other? Because even if he did honestly want to be out of the relationship, he can't just jump from one to the other. Like it or not, he spent 5 years with the OP-- there is history and baggage there. And if you and your ex spent a significant amount of time together, then he has residual baggage from that relationship as well. This is why it's terrible to jump from one relationship to the next without getting through the previous one. I finally realized that I WAS a rebound with my ex boyfriend. He went from his gf of 6 years directly to me, and I fell for all his crap, "I don't love her, I've wanted to leave her for such a long time" etc etc. It was all crap. He brought so much of his insecurity, and he came into our relationship with all of their drama, he wound up cheating on me with her because they hadn't resolved their feelings and their relationship didn't even have closure! I was a rebound that lasted for 3 YEARS. In the end, b/c he never got over her, I wasn't completely right for him either. He just needed to escape to someone new, and when our relationship wasn't working out, he did the exact same thing to me that he did to HIS ex. He found someone new and left me for her. THAT rebound didn't last more than a month though. She even resembled me which was odd. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 These "type" of people... Are weak, cowards, posses no coping skills, needy, can't be alone, etc. When these "type" of people are done "using" / sucking the life out of you they look for a "soft spot" to land. They do not really know / care who that "soft spot" is and don't really care. Being alone, having to deal with a break up, pain, etc. is worse than death itself. So these people choose willing victims or will even "downgrade" if they have too. These "type" of people... Are like monkeys. They swing from one vine to the next (relationship to relationship). They don't let go of the old vine until they have a firm grip on the the new one. These "type" of people... Are USERS. They don't want someone for who / what they are. They want someone for THEM. These "type" of people... People and Relationships are disposable. As fast and hard as they first pursue you, they are just as fast and hard when they flush you down the toilet. These "type" of people... Aren't dumb. They purposely go for people who have self-esteem, self-worth, co-dependent, daddy issues, etc. Ahh... my ex to a T. Wish I would have seen this from day one! Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 And for some, they return later to check up on you or heaven's forbid, try you out for an option once they realize what they now have and what they lost. And to diminish some of their guilt! Link to post Share on other sites
GI_Joy Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 These "type" of people... Are weak, cowards, posses no coping skills, needy, can't be alone, etc. When these "type" of people are done "using" / sucking the life out of you they look for a "soft spot" to land. They do not really know / care who that "soft spot" is and don't really care. Being alone, having to deal with a break up, pain, etc. is worse than death itself. So these people choose willing victims or will even "downgrade" if they have too. These "type" of people... Are like monkeys. They swing from one vine to the next (relationship to relationship). They don't let go of the old vine until they have a firm grip on the the new one. These "type" of people... Are USERS. They don't want someone for who / what they are. They want someone for THEM. These "type" of people... People and Relationships are disposable. As fast and hard as they first pursue you, they are just as fast and hard when they flush you down the toilet. These "type" of people... Aren't dumb. They purposely go for people who have self-esteem, self-worth, co-dependent, daddy issues, etc. This is pretty much my ex. I should've known with how he dwelled on the fact that "girls kept leaving me for no reason" and that he's been through 4-5 relationships since last January when he broke up with his ex of 2 years. And his old facebook comments/statuses here and there of just wanting that "special someone". I'll be honest. I went into it out of need as well. I had everything else going well for me and all I had missing was a significant other and well...he was hardcore pursuing me at the time...so why not. BUT. I got attached, and it was over as fast as it started. Oh well, lesson learned. The only difference between me and my ex is that I still have good stuff going on for me in my life (friends, low debt, awesome job, etc) and he's moving back to his parents empty handed with a $30,000 debt. sucks to be him Link to post Share on other sites
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