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Well, my ex got married.


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I found out that my ex got married about 4 months ago during the holidays. She got married to some african guy. The funny thing is, we broke up in Feb 2011 after about 7.5-8 years together. At the time, I didn't know how I was going to cope and didn't want to think about me being with anyone else or her being with anyone else.

 

I was in bad shape for that whole entire year (2011). The depression would come and go. This even spilled over into last year (2012). I started seeing someone new about a year ago even though I still didn't want to be with anyone else. Now, i can honestly say that I'm free. Learning this has freed me to the point that I can finally let it go. No longer am I torturing myself with wondering why I didn't take her back when she asked for us to get back together. No longer am I rehashing the break-up. It's just over.

 

My point is, things that we don't think we can live without or understand at the time end up not mattering after a while. I think the best thing any of us can do is put ourselves, careers, and acknowledge a higher power first. Not that having a partner isn't important, but the secret is just to make sure you/yourself has it so together, that we can live without another person if we have to. Don't wait on another person to validate you, complete you, or determine your happiness. Start it all from within.

 

I think when we have this mentality, the right people end up coming into our lives automatically. I will say that It feels great to be happy and in control of my own life again. It does get better.

 

 

 

Anyone who cares to read my story can view the links below.

 

Me and my girfriend of 8 years just broke up. need on coping - Page 2 - LoveShack.org Community Forums

Breaks and Breaking Up - LoveShack.org Community Forums

I don't know how to be single again. - Page 4 - LoveShack.org Community Forums

Breaks and Breaking Up - LoveShack.org Community Forums

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Thanks alot january. It's the best feeling in the world to reach the point of indifference.:cool:

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Hi fetish1980,

 

I am in a similar situation as you are. My ex is my first love and we have been together for 5 years. We broke up 9 years ago and I think she's married now. Hopefully someday I can be as cool as you are and get over her.

 

DreamLost

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christine07

hi

I know this post is probably little late but I just saw this and wanted to comment. I just found out tonight that my ex is engaged to the girl he left me for. If you've seen some of my past posts, I was often asking why he was leading me on, or why she got treated better than I did.

 

well, I haven't spoken to him in a good six months which I think is pretty good considering the whole time he's been dating her we've been talking(3 years), and he even cheated on her with me.

 

but this time it was different these's past six months I haven't thought about him once. except for tonight where I got a really weird feeling. and did some investigating and found it out, which sucks even more though is that my good friend of 20 years is going to marry his twin brother. Although I'll never be free of hearing about him and seeing pictures of him for the rest of my life, because my friend will marry his twin brother (they have dated for 11 years now both very religious from different religions so its taking forever).... I feel completely indifferent. I found out and I had no emotional reaction, I mean, sure I was a bit sad but not really. Which is weird, because usually I would flip out. I'm actually a little scared about that because usually like I said I would flip out I don't know if I'm suddenly going to have a meltdown or not. but right now, I feel completely indifferent towards it.

 

It really is a great feeling. All I can think about is how awfully he treated me the 3 years we were together and the aftermath: I was still with him when I caught her with him in his bedroom, he spoke to me all three years they were dating, when he cheated on her with me. And all I can think is Wow, I'm really glad to be rid of him. because in my heart I know he will always "be that type of guy".I completely do not want that type of guy ever again. I'm actually kinda happy he is someone else's problem.

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hi

I know this post is probably little late but I just saw this and wanted to comment. I just found out tonight that my ex is engaged to the girl he left me for. If you've seen some of my past posts, I was often asking why he was leading me on, or why she got treated better than I did.

 

well, I haven't spoken to him in a good six months which I think is pretty good considering the whole time he's been dating her we've been talking(3 years), and he even cheated on her with me.

 

but this time it was different these's past six months I haven't thought about him once. except for tonight where I got a really weird feeling. and did some investigating and found it out, which sucks even more though is that my good friend of 20 years is going to marry his twin brother. Although I'll never be free of hearing about him and seeing pictures of him for the rest of my life, because my friend will marry his twin brother (they have dated for 11 years now both very religious from different religions so its taking forever).... I feel completely indifferent. I found out and I had no emotional reaction, I mean, sure I was a bit sad but not really. Which is weird, because usually I would flip out. I'm actually a little scared about that because usually like I said I would flip out I don't know if I'm suddenly going to have a meltdown or not. but right now, I feel completely indifferent towards it.

 

It really is a great feeling. All I can think about is how awfully he treated me the 3 years we were together and the aftermath: I was still with him when I caught her with him in his bedroom, he spoke to me all three years they were dating, when he cheated on her with me. And all I can think is Wow, I'm really glad to be rid of him. because in my heart I know he will always "be that type of guy".I completely do not want that type of guy ever again. I'm actually kinda happy he is someone else's problem.

 

Congratulations christine on reaching your point of indifference. It's sad to say but one of the many acid test on any relationship is seeing how the person treats their current partner. If he's cheating on them with you, run fast! Because in due time, it shows what he will do to you.

 

That is quite ironic that your best friend is getting married to his twin brother. It's quite obvious you guys share the same tastes. :p

 

Hi fetish1980,

 

I am in a similar situation as you are. My ex is my first love and we have been together for 5 years. We broke up 9 years ago and I think she's married now. Hopefully someday I can be as cool as you are and get over her.

 

DreamLost

 

I don't know if you ever "get over" a person so to speak, but you just continue to move past it. Your first and past loves will always be a very important part of your past, so you will always have a special place in your heart for them.

 

The fact that you wake up everyday, still breathe, still put one foot in front of the other everyday after 9 years says alot. The secret is just to keep going. Even if you don't feel like it, fake it until you make it. :)

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Any day "above the grass" is a good day by me!!

 

 

 

The fact that you wake up everyday, still breathe, still put one foot in front of the other everyday after 9 years says alot. The secret is just to keep going. Even if you don't feel like it, fake it until you make it. :)

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