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I guess its over...


dazedandconfused2013

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dazedandconfused2013

I really don't know how I ended up here...I thought that no matter what we would get through it. There was never a time in the two years that we were together that I ever thought that being without him would be better than being with him...even in our most heated arguments.

 

He had been acting distant for a few weeks and he had said that there were things going on at work that had him really stressed out. I didn't push. I always asked how he was and if there was anything that I could do. He always said no...

 

He tends to be pretty moody and I have learned when to just let him be...even when I am feeling neglected I tend to not bring it up when he is in one of his "moods" because he always turns it around and it turns into a fight.

 

Well after about a week of limited contact on his part he sends me a text saying that he doesn't think that I really love him and desire him physically the way he does me. Well this put me right over the edge. I should have just stroked his ego like I usually do because I know that was what he was looking for, but something in my head just clicked and I said that I will not be made to feel like I did anything wrong when all I do is try to make him happy.

 

He proceeded to block me from Facebook. We are both in our late 30's...are you kidding me??? How much more childish can you be? I emailed him and called him and the response from him was "I guess that I am just not good enough for you so that's that." I sent a long email back telling him how I felt about him and that we need to have open communication in order to work through this and asked that he please talk to me. His response...you need to talk to me...so like a moron I responded professing my undying love and devotion....and I got nothing...

 

That was yesterday. I would usually send him a good morning text or voicemail. I didn't and I don't plan on reaching out to him again. I mean what else can I do? He knows how I feel and if he wants to talk to me he knows how to get a hold of me...

 

I am so confused, disappointed, angry and a ton of other emotions. How can you just shut it down like that? So after two years this is how it is going to end...with him just not speaking to me?

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justletgo07

Hi there. I'm sorry that you're going through this. This is no doubt a very painful and confusing situation.

 

It sounds like he's in a pretty bad place mentally/emotionally. Just for your own mental/emotional well-being, stepping away from this may actually be a good thing, and I would encourage you to try to see it that way (even though I know that is a lot to ask).

 

It's possible that he's also trying to force you into breaking up with him/not wanting to be with him. It's a pretty cowardly tactic to use, but it unfortunately happens a lot. Again, it just doesn't sound like he's in a place where he can treat your feelings and emotions with the respect they deserve, so I think you are probably better off just stepping away for now.

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I'm sorry your are going through that. I know how painful and emotional the situation is. You've come to the right place, as there are many people who can relate to what you are going through, and much good advice to be had. I think the previous poster is right, step back for a few days, weeks and let your emotions slow down so that you can talk (if he contacts you) with a reasonable mind.

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dazedandconfused2013

I don't see him contacting me. It's just not his way. I know that I have to step away and back off and leave him alone...as much as I don't want to. I now need to learn to back away from the phone and stop checking to see if he emailed or called me...harder said than done.

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That's been my life for a couple months now, believe me. So I know what you mean. It gets better with time, I promise. The first few days and weeks are excruciating, because you can't believe they would treat you this way. But they do, and it's important that you take the time to grieve it, but also take care of yourself. You can't control whether he contacts you or not, but you can control what you need to do to move on in your life and put the pieces back together. It's a slow process, as I am two months in, and really just starting to wake up from the bus that hit me. Be strong and courageous!

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I'd actually like to congratulate you on no longer being with someone who handles things in a childish, selfish manner.

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ThatJustHappened

He sounds like a lot of work. Seems to me like you're much better off without him. Congrats for extricating yourself from such a difficult situation! I know it hurts now, but when you meet the next guy, one who you don't need to walk on eggshells with, you'll look back on this relationship and laugh.

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dazedandconfused2013

What kind of sick twisted individual am I dealing with here and why didn't I see it sooner...he doesn't love me. He never did. He just has some serious self esteem issues (which by the way are completely stupid since he is ultra successful and very attractive) and I have been the bandaid for those issues for two years. I have built him up...put him on a pedestal...told him he was perfect and tolerated his bullish*&...for what? For NOTHING...then when I finally decide that I have just fu*&ing had it...and I do not send my usual good morning..i love you..you are wonderful...blah blah blah email he does the totally unexpected and just sends me a message that says "how are you feeling today". How am I feeling???? I feel like I want to punch you in the face...that's how I am feeling jackass. That is what I want to say...but I won't. I will say nothing because I have said and given enough already.

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