McGriff Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 I know it's a pretty straight forward term, but I also know women speak a different language (womanese). My ex used the term when she broke up, after telling me days leading up to it that she loved me so much and I'm not really sure what it means, in light of her actions since the BU. (contacting me out of the blue, giving breadcrumbs etc). Can you ladies clue me in to the emotional process and thoughts leading up to figuring out that your husband/bf is "not the one for you"? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 it means it isn't moving forward from here, time to move on. A phrase like that is used to ease the pain of rejection so there isn't a confrontation over parting ways, normally a person will want to know 'why?' and with this phrase there is no 'why?'... it just is... Link to post Share on other sites
Thunderchild Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 it means it isn't moving forward from here, time to move on. A phrase like that is used to ease the pain of rejection so there isn't a confrontation over parting ways, normally a person will want to know 'why?' and with this phrase there is no 'why?'... it just is... In other words it's a cop out! Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 There's not hidden meaning. It means you're not the one for her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mack05 Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Listen to the lyrics carefully... Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 I know it's a pretty straight forward term, but I also know women speak a different language (womanese). My ex used the term when she broke up, after telling me days leading up to it that she loved me so much and I'm not really sure what it means, in light of her actions since the BU. (contacting me out of the blue, giving breadcrumbs etc). Can you ladies clue me in to the emotional process and thoughts leading up to figuring out that your husband/bf is "not the one for you"? it isnt confusing. it means literally what it says. or if you need it a different way, it means "youre not who i want to bang anymore, and i want to go bang other prople". Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 In my opinion, it means that while she still cares for you, she does not feel attracted to you - in sexspeak, what flitzanu said. Link to post Share on other sites
inaya42 Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 for me it can also be a matter of emotional (in)compatibility. in fact, whenever i have felt that way about someone, it wasn't sexual at all. it was more like my recognition that the person wasn't going to give me what i needed to feel connected, loved, moved, etc. i should say that this doesn't have to do with effort. sometime, the other person just doesn't have what someone needs, or would prefer. i have a couple of male friends who have crushed on me at various times, but i wouldn't trust my heart or my sensitive temperament to them. hence -- "you are not the one for me." hope this helps! Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 No hidden meaning behind that. You are not what floats her boat anymore. Void of attraction, emotional connection, mental stimulation, etc., therefore, loss of interest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author McGriff Posted April 17, 2013 Author Share Posted April 17, 2013 Wow. That's what I needed to hear. I HATE rejection. Hate it, hate it, hate it. But that's what I'm getting a heavy dose of. I consider myself to be very attractive, and this has been a blow to the old ego. Thank for your responses--even though it hurts to think about, it helps. Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Wow. That's what I needed to hear. I HATE rejection. Hate it, hate it, hate it. But that's what I'm getting a heavy dose of. I consider myself to be very attractive, and this has been a blow to the old ego. Thank for your responses--even though it hurts to think about, it helps. What were you hoping to hear that would have been even remotely soft on the ego or with a positive tone? Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Wow. That's what I needed to hear. I HATE rejection. Hate it, hate it, hate it. But that's what I'm getting a heavy dose of. I consider myself to be very attractive, and this has been a blow to the old ego. Thank for your responses--even though it hurts to think about, it helps. Wait, how are these "translations" any more of a rejection than the act of breaking up with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author McGriff Posted April 17, 2013 Author Share Posted April 17, 2013 @geegirl, It's the mixed signals. When I think about it, she's all over the place. I think I kind of substituted talking to her for you guys. And you all have done a good job of hammering home the point that those words mean it's over, despite the subsequent flirtations and breadcrumbs. @minneola, I am past the worst part, now it's just mopping up the mess that is emotion and closing the door so I can move on. Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 @geegirl, It's the mixed signals. When I think about it, she's all over the place. I think I kind of substituted talking to her for you guys. And you all have done a good job of hammering home the point that those words mean it's over, despite the subsequent flirtations and breadcrumbs. . We place too much emphasis on mixed signals. If it's mixed, it's unrealiable and most times coming from a place that isn't able to provide you with any security. Someone that wants you, will give you signals. It won't be mixed. Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Reading the lyrics without the distraction of the music is even more effective. Bravo Mack! Listen to the lyrics carefully... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 McGriff, I don't think you need a translator on this one... I'm sure she likes you; I'm sure there are still some feelings there based on recent interactions you two have had and coming to mutual agreement on the break up. Yep all good there. However, she wants your company in a small way but does not want you chasing her or thinking there is an opportunity for reconciliation, hence she can hold you "at bay" by making it seem the incompatibility issues are most prevalent. In other words, she wants to contact you and stay in some form of communication without the fear of you misinterpreting her actions. More or less this is a common outcome of LC and it will get mucky when one person wants or would be open to something the other person is closed upon. @geegirl, It's the mixed signals. When I think about it, she's all over the place. I think I kind of substituted talking to her for you guys. And you all have done a good job of hammering home the point that those words mean it's over, despite the subsequent flirtations and breadcrumbs. @minneola, I am past the worst part, now it's just mopping up the mess that is emotion and closing the door so I can move on. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 "I don't see us living the rest of our lives together..." Link to post Share on other sites
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