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Well. Today marks 3 months NC


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Three months exactly today..which makes 84 days. Almost at 90..then I will just continue I guess.

 

Idk, I am okay. Some people still seem devastated after months and I would not say I am devastated. But I am having a really hard time accepting that one day we stopped speaking and that is it. That I still care so much about this person, yet she is so out of my life now.

 

Im gonna be real. Deep down I really would like to see her reach out to me. Its been such a long time (not in the big picture, but relatively speaking). How can I just not care if I still love her?

 

Its just so..weird. Three whole months. From "Echo I will love you always" to a silence, broken only by my own echo.

 

Anyone else around this time range in regards to NC..how do you guys feel? Seems part of the trouble in moving on is that it is all so..weird. As strange as that sounds..so anticlimactic..so dully permanent.

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I had a friend tell me once it's like when you rearrange the glasses and dishes in your cupboards; at first you still go to the old cupboard to get a glass only to open the door and find your dishes oops wrong cupboard. For sometime after a break up you keep going back to that emotional well of your girlfriend only to find it is not there anymore oops wrong cupboard. It just takes time pretty soon you will be going for the right cupboard.

Edited by blotter
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:eek: i just started a similar thread!! ps echo can you take a look at my last post on your thread ex emails after 10 weeks. Thanks friend ;)
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I'm only at day 5 of NC so god knows what 3 months is going to feel like. I'm keeping very positive though, seeing my counsellor on a weekly basis, concentrating on my job and having a laugh with friends. Like you, I'm not finding it easy as I knew this girl for 9 years and NC is going to be broken any day now as I will see her at work.

 

I can never go complete NC unfortunately. My progress is going to be halted and re-started time and time again due to us bumping into eachother at work.

 

I know you want her to reach out, I think everyone has that feeling but I know for a FACT that my ex will not reach out to me as she was always stubborn like that. If people won't come crawling after her, she won't bother with them. Well I'm sorry but I'm not bowing down to her again, I've done it before and it makes you feel small and weak. It's time to stand up and be strong my friend. It's extremely difficult to come to terms with, but what's done is done.

 

Anyway I feel what you're going through and keep thinking positive. You get just one life and to spend it thinking about what could've been or regretting things all the time is a drag.

 

All the best!

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Echo,

 

Careful what you wish for. My ex "reached out" alright. To tell me she's dating a nice guy that she has fun with. I understand what you're saying though. I went 20 days NC, and I was reading posts on here, and I saw some people getting contacted by their exes, and I thought to myself "man, I would love if she would contact me, even if its bad, just so I know she's thinking about me". Well, it happened, and it was not the feeling I was hoping for. Just know that she IS thinking about you, for what it's worth, and keep moving on in your life. The universe has a strange way of working everything out. Good luck

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Congrats! :love: I'm envious. I hadn't even gotten to 2 full months before I had to start all over :(

 

Instead of analyzing the situation and dwelling on how long it's been, you should do something nice for yourself to reward yourself for the work! :bunny:

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Three months exactly today..which makes 84 days. Almost at 90..then I will just continue I guess.

 

Idk, I am okay. Some people still seem devastated after months and I would not say I am devastated. But I am having a really hard time accepting that one day we stopped speaking and that is it. That I still care so much about this person, yet she is so out of my life now.

 

Im gonna be real. Deep down I really would like to see her reach out to me. Its been such a long time (not in the big picture, but relatively speaking). How can I just not care if I still love her?

 

Its just so..weird. Three whole months. From "Echo I will love you always" to a silence, broken only by my own echo.

 

Anyone else around this time range in regards to NC..how do you guys feel? Seems part of the trouble in moving on is that it is all so..weird. As strange as that sounds..so anticlimactic..so dully permanent.

 

 

Yup you sound like you are right on track. Youll be over it in another 4 months probably as long as you stay NC. Cav

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I'm just over 3 months, mostly NC. It's strange, sometimes I feel as if I haven't gotten better but only worse. yesterday I thought about him less than I ever have before, but then I took a nap after work. When I woke up, my first thought was panic and shock that we weren't together anymore :( It really threw me off. But I think I'm starting to SLOWLY forget the little nuances that haunted me. The tone of his voice, etc.

It's strange - I expected this linear progress, that I'd be more over it after a few months than I was after a few weeks. Not really the case.

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Well I definitely dont want her to reach out with something like "hey hope your well im doing well with my new guy!" haha i know I would rather never hear from her again than hear that.

 

I think I might be having a difficult time completely letting go because I genuinely think there is a good chance she will contact me at some point wanting me back/at least to initiate contact again. I am ONLY saying this because I know my ex, I know she really loved me, it was mutual, and she left it at pretty much "I will talk to you again"..you know? And i guess i cant help but think about that day, if she contacts me. And i wouldnt think this was a chance if I didnt know my ex. I could be wrong, but I am just saying.

 

Anyone else been in that type of situation? Like I said earlier, it was mutual for the most part (although, in a funny way she tried to make it sound like she was dumping me haha)

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Well I definitely dont want her to reach out with something like "hey hope your well im doing well with my new guy!" haha i know I would rather never hear from her again than hear that.

 

I think I might be having a difficult time completely letting go because I genuinely think there is a good chance she will contact me at some point wanting me back/at least to initiate contact again. I am ONLY saying this because I know my ex, I know she really loved me, it was mutual, and she left it at pretty much "I will talk to you again"..you know? And i guess i cant help but think about that day, if she contacts me. And i wouldnt think this was a chance if I didnt know my ex. I could be wrong, but I am just saying.

 

Anyone else been in that type of situation? Like I said earlier, it was mutual for the most part (although, in a funny way she tried to make it sound like she was dumping me haha)

 

Dude trust me you dont want ANY REPEAT ANY communication from her. Block everything. I got super nice email from my ex at almost 3 months. Worst thing ever. Set me back like a month and i didnt even respond. I made a thread about it. Didnt seem too bad at first but it just ate at me. Cav

 

ahh i remember you alreay got an email. You want another? WTF :) lol

Edited by cavalier99
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I'm just over 3 months, mostly NC. It's strange, sometimes I feel as if I haven't gotten better but only worse. yesterday I thought about him less than I ever have before, but then I took a nap after work. When I woke up, my first thought was panic and shock that we weren't together anymore :( It really threw me off. But I think I'm starting to SLOWLY forget the little nuances that haunted me. The tone of his voice, etc.

It's strange - I expected this linear progress, that I'd be more over it after a few months than I was after a few weeks. Not really the case.

 

i hate when that happens :)but it happens to all of us xx

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@Cav, i think from reading both posts that the reasons for breaking up are different so can't compare how to act in this situation. From what i hear about echos situation, there was no foul play. Just sayin..

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I'm actually at 4 months NC, well sort of, I slipped this weekend and creeped his Instagram so technically I sort of broke it.... but most definitely can relate to what you're feeling.... I'm not devastated as I was when we now broke up. But I still can't believe I don't know anything about him and I no longer hear his voice... I think all this time the loss was settling in, but now, it's like damn this is for real... But sooner than later we'll be fine because I do believe we made it through the bulk of grief... now it's just home run... because I can't imagine this going on for much longer and I don't think it will.

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Three months exactly today..which makes 84 days. Almost at 90..then I will just continue I guess.

 

Idk, I am okay. Some people still seem devastated after months and I would not say I am devastated. But I am having a really hard time accepting that one day we stopped speaking and that is it. That I still care so much about this person, yet she is so out of my life now.

 

Im gonna be real. Deep down I really would like to see her reach out to me. Its been such a long time (not in the big picture, but relatively speaking). How can I just not care if I still love her?

 

Its just so..weird. Three whole months. From "Echo I will love you always" to a silence, broken only by my own echo.

 

Anyone else around this time range in regards to NC..how do you guys feel? Seems part of the trouble in moving on is that it is all so..weird. As strange as that sounds..so anticlimactic..so dully permanent.

 

This is the part that gets me the most..that its just over there is no big moment when we analyze something its just over and life continues and tomorrow is just another day with someone very special completely and utterly removed from you're life. I am at almost 2 months complete strict NC and the pain has subsided for the most part, thoughts of jealousy peak there ugly head in but I can better neutralize those thoughts now. I just know that our lives are completely seperate and ive been sad for too long and have finally let go...i can say i have let go and to be honest it is bittersweet. I had a moment yesterday where i felt free of her and I got sad for a moment bc the pain was gone...weird huh? I missed the pain, I almost cried, not bc of her..but bc I was letting my pain go. We tend to miss things that we live with for so long even if they are painful.

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yeah, that's why we have to be very careful of the things we let ourselves get used to ie the pain. Can't escape upbringing and circumstances either.

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It will be 2 months for me Saturday I know how you're feeling, she broke up with me I didn't see it coming at all, from her saying promise never to break my heart to her breaking mine, but I'm staying strong if she did truly care or truly did love me she will reach out, no way in hell will I make the first contact it's friggen hard but I promised myself that, stay strong man I feel the same way your'e feeling right now

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should we all follow the same approach..simply to wish them gone and not want any contact from them? What if they didnt cheat on you? What if they didnt say they hated you..or did not just abandon you out of the blue? What if it was just..a typical, shi*tty breakup in which (like all other break ups) you felt hurt, sad, alone, etc.?

 

I guess the question im asking is this: Where should we put the love we have for them? Where does that love go? And what are we supposed to do with it, especially when we have a lot of it still, from day to day?

 

I am sure many understand exactly what I mean.

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@Cav, i think from reading both posts that the reasons for breaking up are different so can't compare how to act in this situation. From what i hear about echos situation, there was no foul play. Just sayin..

 

The cirmcumstances dont matter. My Bu wasnt that bad as far as BUs go. The thing is im just pretty hard core for NC to get over it.AKA TaraMaiden style. Either way you want then out of your head and heart so you can move on. At a later date if you want to catch up after total indifference that is great! Just my opinion.

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i do agree that coming from a place of indifference is better because than when approaching it with wild hopes :) But, there is one size fits many, but no one size fits all regarding advice is my thought, even regarding nc

Edited by siankat
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