Narcissus and Echo

[all_cats_rgray]

Narcissus was a handsome young man who could not love or be loved and rejected the girls who fell for him. One of these was the nymph Echo. One day she followed him through the woods to a pool in a cleaing. She had pined away so much for him that all that was left of her was per plaintive voice, which could only repeat what it heard. Narcissus was his reflection in the pool and fell in love with it. When he said, "You're so beautiful, Echo would say"... so beautiful", or if his words were "I love you", she would say...love your"

 

Narcissus leant forward to kiss the lips in the reflection, fell in and drowned. A white flower grew in that place, named Narcissus after him. Echo faded away.

 

- Couples and Sex: An Introduction to Relationship Dynamics and Psychosexual concepts.. Carol Martin Sperry.

 

Lesson to learn...look up Project Identification ..too.

Edited April 16, 2013 by all_cats_rgray

[OwlSoul]

I've read another verion of it. Narcissus fell in love with Echo, but soon he realized she is nothing, but repeat of his words. So he left Echo, which died because she could not bare the rejection. Only her voice was left after her.

 

Passion Trap by Dean Delis.

 

I think this is the best representation of a typical dumpee, whos life becames nothing, but about their partners. Some people just dive in to the person, starts actively engaging with the person's hobbies and interests, losing the interest on his/her own hobbies. As a result there is a feeling of lost self.

[LoveB86]

That is all me ^^^^^

 

I lost myself because everything I liked was what he liked. Now am lost, lonely and confused

[todreaminblue]

That is all me ^^^^^

 

I lost myself because everything I liked was what he liked. Now am lost, lonely and confused

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

This happens when you put your heart and soul into a relationship....invest....all or nothing.....you dont have to lose who you are......you can still be you and bring it all to the relationship..enrich that relationship that mutually beneficial, and accepting relationship...but to not invest everything you have......is to not commit fully........if that relationship ends will it hurt......it should........hurt like a mother........because if it doesnt.....you never truly cared......getting hurt is the risk.......if you dont take it.....you never know what truly loving someone means....when a relationship ends you will always feel lost....alone....confused....its called grieving....if you dont grieve....you never loved.......deb

 

 

Live your life with no regrets, take risks, take chances, take your mistakes as precious life lessons and use them to your advantage. We are only here for a short time. For the fact of the matter, we could die at any moment. ......... Do the things you love and dream of doing. If you love someone let them know because at any second we could be torn from this world and not get another.........

[all_cats_rgray]

Thought i'd make a shot at Projective Identification.

 

A projector, (Jane) with the certain attitude and behavior, (low self-worth.) She exerts unconscious pressure on their partner (John.)

 

Example Jane feels she is unable to deal with stress and pressers of school. But John becomes convinced by Jane that .. she really is unable to deal with presser and stress.

 

John begins to accept and identify with the projection and inhabited to deal with and be independent.

 

Lets say that Jane meets John. Greats her and says "your insecure" At this moment we must decide if this pair are accurately perceiving reality or if they have evolved into a shared delusional state.

 

Both Jane and John has created a shared delusion of dependency.

 

Projective identification can be seen as a self fulfilling prophecy.

 

In really basic terms. If you act like you are ****, you will be treated like ****. ( I know this is a vaguer, over simplification) BUT.

 

Through understanding how you act effects how people treat you is important.

 

Maybe no one will understand what im trying to say....

[OwlSoul]

Through understanding how you act effects how people treat you is important.

Yup.

 

I've been saying the same, but in other words:

The Dumpee case: Logically, we should stop loving or even hating the person who hurt us so much. Logically, we should stop wanting someone who does not want us, since it is useless and hurting. Your brains tell you that the person does not worth your tears and your time, that the person is not ideal. But once we have invested so much into those relationships, dumpees’ gut feeling just cries and shouts that you want only and only this person. That he/she is the one; you won’t be able to love someone else ever and etc. More the dumper distances away, more you panic, show love trying to get the person back.

So more you show yourself dependent on other person, behave like you're nothing without the person, more you push the person away.

Same is to be applied to any other relationship, work, friendship, familly.

That's why kids who's parents are not loving try hard at school to get their parent's attention. That's why kids who're loved a lot do not show the same love back. Adn etc. etc.