youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 here is want I was thinking. I don't want hurt his feeling and would date him again if he was ready to commit: Hey M I realized it would be selfish me to expect you to remain with me while you date other women, you have a soul and deserve to fall in love. And some woman will love you someday. You’ve been good company. I hope we can be friends. M Note on our first date I said he was different that other guy and he said it was because he has a soul Link to post Share on other sites
foreverandalways Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 How come you don't want to do this in person or over the phone? Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 his phone is broken. this has also led to him showing up at my house unexpectedly Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Honestly, it sounds kind of pathetic. If he doesn't want you he doesn't want you...telling him to date other girls or woman is irreverent. Don't put yourself in a lower position. Simple message might be: [highlight]you don't want me - your loss - goodbye!!![/highlight] 1 Link to post Share on other sites
foreverandalways Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Honestly, it sounds kind of pathetic. If he doesn't want you he doesn't want you...telling him to date other girls or woman is irreverent. Don't put yourself in a lower position. Simple message might be: [highlight]you don't want me - your loss - goodbye!!![/highlight] Yes, or just something along the lines of, "we're looking for different things in a relationship..." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 I feel like if I'm a jerk about it he will hate me. He claims to really care about me as and calls me his best friend (note he has no friends) but I was his first and he wants have sex with other women before committing to me. he claims he does want want to date them, just sex Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Well at least he is honest about it -- I give him that. Look, if your okay with his tongue and penis being in another vagina and them coming back to you and then onto others it's your choice. But frankly it sounds sick when I write it and it should sound sick to you as well. Dump him from all contact with you! Get your dignity in order, please. I feel like if I'm a jerk about it he will hate me. He claims to really care about me as and calls me his best friend (note he has no friends) but I was his first and he wants have sex with other women before committing to me. he claims he does want want to date them, just sex 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 I am less concerned about monogamy, not sexually jealous just insecure that he will leave me Link to post Share on other sites
foreverandalways Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 I am less concerned about monogamy, not sexually jealous just insecure that he will leave me Well if you're worried he will leave you and are OK with him having sex with other women...what's the issue here? Why are you breaking up with him? Date him so he doesn't "leave" you, and let him sleep with his heart's desires, since you're OK with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 I"m worried he will fall in love with another women. I doubt he is really able to have casual sex. it took him 2 month to sleep with me but I was his first. Link to post Share on other sites
CompleteFailure Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 If he still wants you too romantically and you're okay with the whole situation of an open relationship, than you'll just have to seduce him into loving you the most? Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 I just hate seeming like such a pushover, so clingy and desperate. does any one think that if I end it he might change his tune? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Honestly, it sounds kind of pathetic. If he doesn't want you he doesn't want you...telling him to date other girls or woman is irreverent. Do you mean 'irreverent' - or do you mean 'irrelevant'...? OP, I've yet to see a greater or better example of a woman willingly placing herself at a man's feet as a doormat. I think you should end it and give a phukk about what he thinks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 heres a revised note: Hey M I had fun the other night but after doing some thinking I’ve come to some conclusions I’m not in good place right now to be involved emotionally with anyone. I’m really better off just being single and having fun with whoever I want without getting attached. It would be selfish of me to stay with you while you date other women. You deserve to fall in love, and you will someday. This has been an interesting experiment and you have been great company. Hope we can stay friends. M Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 irrelevant..... my woops!! Do you mean 'irreverent' - or do you mean 'irrelevant'...? OP, I've yet to see a greater or better example of a woman willingly placing herself at a man's feet as a doormat. I think you should end it and give a phukk about what he thinks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 I know it's pathetic but I'm just confused because he is say he DOES want and care for me, is happy with the relationship ect but wants to fool around with other girls because he is 21 and sexually inexperienced worth noting is we are both anarchists and open relationships or polyamory is COMMON among our friends. Like none of my friends would understand why I was feeling so insecure. they'd be like if you are the right one, he will be with you no matter if he plays around with other girls. I'm just insecure that he will ditch me upon meeting other girls Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 I seriously hate this whole men and women dont own eachother thing. like I am SOOO old fashioned to want a stable relationship Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 heres a revised note: Hey M I had fun the other night but after doing some thinking I’ve come to some conclusions I’m not in good place right now to be involved emotionally with anyone. I’m really better off just being single and having fun with whoever I want without getting attached. It would be selfish of me to stay with you while you date other women. You deserve to fall in love, and you will someday. This has been an interesting experiment and you have been great company. Hope we can stay friends. M No, it would be stupid of you to stay with with him while he dates others and selfish of him to date others while you cling to his side, especially when he can smell your desperation. Scrap the letter. It sounds like you're trying to get a reaction. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 irrelevant..... my woops!! (Call it a freudian Slip.... ) Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 I know it's pathetic but I'm just confused because he is say he DOES want and care for me, is happy with the relationship ect but wants to fool around with other girls because he is 21 and sexually inexperienced You're not confused. What you are doing is living a total lie. worth noting is we are both anarchists and open relationships or polyamory is COMMON among our friends. Like none of my friends would understand why I was feeling so insecure. they'd be like if you are the right one, he will be with you no matter if he plays around with other girls. I'm just insecure that he will ditch me upon meeting other girls This is ridiculous. you need to get out of this 'friendship group'. What a pile of tosh. You're only an anarchist and a 'fan' of polyamory if your hearty is really into anarchy and polyamory. If your heart's not in it, you're a liar - worst of all, to yourself - because you want to be liked, popular and go with the 'in-crowd'. "There is nothing quite so ridiculous as a piece of ill-thought idiocy that's currently in fashion." If you don't believe in what you supposedly stand for, or represent, quit, get out and do what you really believe in. And address your low self-esteem issues. Because no matter what you do here, it will never be genuine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 I know it's pathetic but I'm just confused because he is say he DOES want and care for me, is happy with the relationship ect but wants to fool around with other girls because he is 21 and sexually inexperienced Translation: Confused? He wants you to be available for sex while he bangs other girls. Simple. There is no relationship because you're getting nothing out of it. It's his "relationship". He may care and blah blah, but not enough to commit and be exclusive with you. Probably gives you the whole "I care for you" speech to keep you where he wants you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 I totally want to get a reaction. I am the best thing that ever happened to this dude and he is going to blow it. he knows we are good for each other and doesn't want to let me go but he wants to "explore" because he is inexperienced I'm saying, well good for you but I can't handle that, hope you find someone whos a better fit (he wont) I'm also just considering ignoring him Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 I am an anarchist, just because I'm uncomfortable with open relationships does not discount my other convictions. I wouldn't say I'm getting NOTHING out of this relationship, just not commitment. We run errands, read to each other, cook dinner. I mean I am getting affection and companionship too. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 I think Ignoring him would be the absolute tops, and ideal choice. Fall off his radar and let him sink. Seriously. It's amazing at times, how much more silence conveys than all of the most carefully-thought out messages can. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 Thanks... I want to do that. I think he will get lonely for me There are a couple cute guys who flirt with me. Maybe I'll go on a few dates. To be honest BOTH of us are doubtful he will meet a girl who will sleep with him. He is arrogant, unwashed and completely broke. Link to post Share on other sites
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