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How to accept the fact that he is not coming back?


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 11th April 2013, 9:33 AM   #1
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How to accept the fact that he is not coming back?

I'm a thinker and I would usually analyze. The things he said and did when we are breaking up, they kept running through my head. And the things are so conflicting with one another but I just hope to accept the fact that he is not coming back. How can I do that?
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Old 11th April 2013, 12:36 PM   #2
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You move on and not worry about what he is doing or not doing. You sever all ties and do not communicate. Once you accept that you can remove him from your life you can accept that he isn't going to be back.
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Old 11th April 2013, 12:43 PM   #3
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Acceptance comes with understanding and the decision.
Dumpees normally go through a shock, depression, hope, anger and only then an acceptance and true healing. Acceptance as in realizing that you do not want to suffer more than you love the person.
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Old 11th April 2013, 12:48 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by i.am View Post
I'm a thinker and I would usually analyze. The things he said and did when we are breaking up, they kept running through my head. And the things are so conflicting with one another but I just hope to accept the fact that he is not coming back. How can I do that?
Tell him you accept the break-up and its for the best. Leave it at that and do not reply to anything else he msgs you after that.

Initiate NC and live your life with charismatic and enthusiasm and dont facebook stalk him all the time because that will only hurt you even more knowing that he is having fun without you and that he dosen't even include you in his life anymore. The best thing to do now is to have massive fun, but not stupid fun there is a difference. Dont talk about how much you miss and love him to your friends because its likely that they will tell your ex about your feelings and he will have the power in the break up and control your emotion how ever he wants and this is going to hurt so bad.

Have a plan

-No contact
-No facebook stalking
-No emotional msg on your facebook timeline because he will see them(post positive msg)
-Delete his phone number so you wont always be happy when your phone rings.
-Pictures are very important and you should use them
take a lot of photos of you going out
take down all the photos of you two together
take new photos or yourself smiling a lot
-Physical materials you are sentimental towards should be stored

Eventualy you will either forget about the pain or he'll come back.

Goodluck
Infnitysign is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th April 2013, 2:08 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by i.am View Post
I'm a thinker and I would usually analyze. The things he said and did when we are breaking up, they kept running through my head. And the things are so conflicting with one another but I just hope to accept the fact that he is not coming back. How can I do that?
When you figure out, tell me how.
Amelie1980 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th April 2013, 5:36 AM   #6
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First off..
I think you've already come to terms with him not coming back "hence you asking how to get over him not coming back and how to accept it"...
YOU just need to understand logically you are aware of the fact he is not coming back..
It is more of an emotional struggle and that takes time.. Eventually we will all have our hearts be whole again, that last tidbit sounds so incredibly cheesy but It's a fact.. One day.. Just keep strong and know you are not alone in the heartache..
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Old 12th April 2013, 7:15 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cogee View Post
You move on and not worry about what he is doing or not doing. You sever all ties and do not communicate. Once you accept that you can remove him from your life you can accept that he isn't going to be back.
We haven't been contacting. The last time was few days ago when he needs to forward some money to me. I was silly. I had gone to look for him a week after he initiated the break up, hoping he could change his mind.

And now it's been another week of NC since I looked for him. I miss him and I still stalk him in a way.
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Old 12th April 2013, 7:19 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Infnitysign View Post
Tell him you accept the break-up and its for the best. Leave it at that and do not reply to anything else he msgs you after that.

Initiate NC and live your life with charismatic and enthusiasm and dont facebook stalk him all the time because that will only hurt you even more knowing that he is having fun without you and that he dosen't even include you in his life anymore. The best thing to do now is to have massive fun, but not stupid fun there is a difference. Dont talk about how much you miss and love him to your friends because its likely that they will tell your ex about your feelings and he will have the power in the break up and control your emotion how ever he wants and this is going to hurt so bad.

Have a plan

-No contact
-No facebook stalking
-No emotional msg on your facebook timeline because he will see them(post positive msg)
-Delete his phone number so you wont always be happy when your phone rings.
-Pictures are very important and you should use them
take a lot of photos of you going out
take down all the photos of you two together
take new photos or yourself smiling a lot
-Physical materials you are sentimental towards should be stored

Eventualy you will either forget about the pain or he'll come back.

Goodluck
Thank you, Infnitysign. He is totally inactive on FB, whereas I am but have been rather inactive ever since our relationship hit the rock. The last post I have on my Fb was someone presented me a gift to comfort me and he was the one who removed me from his FB. I've been wondering why.

I have yet clear all those sentimental stuff. Just can't get the mood to do so. Other than spending my time mobbing away or surfing the web, I do not have mood to do anything else.
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Old 12th April 2013, 7:24 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by uniqwa View Post
First off..
I think you've already come to terms with him not coming back "hence you asking how to get over him not coming back and how to accept it"...
YOU just need to understand logically you are aware of the fact he is not coming back..
It is more of an emotional struggle and that takes time.. Eventually we will all have our hearts be whole again, that last tidbit sounds so incredibly cheesy but It's a fact.. One day.. Just keep strong and know you are not alone in the heartache..
I don't think I have really come to terms with him not coming back cause I would still think and analyze why his behaviors were such when he initiated the break up. Is he suffering from depression? Did he really mean what he said to me? All these questions I have been asking myself and hoping that those were not his true words but cause he has been under major stress and is depressed.

But the other part of me has been telling me that no matter what, the fact that he had been so nasty to me to have said those things, I shouldn't even forgive him for hurting me.

I don't know. I only know it's so hard to pass each day and every minute I would think of him.
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