IAmThee Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 Basically when me and my girlfriend first started dating 2.5 years ago, she had a very close bestfriend (Let's call her Sally). My Girlfriend did everything and anything for her because she loved her like a little sister, sometimes she'd drop our plans to help her out. That didn't initially bother me because that girl was there before me, but Sally started becoming controlling of my girlfriend and I didn't like it. Fast forward to April 2012, Sally gets a new boyfriend and my girlfriend was happy for her and initially encouraged because she wanted to see Sally happy. But as Sally and her new boyfriend got closer, my girlfriend was being tossed under the bus. Sally started acting differently, not seeing my girlfriend as much and essentially tossed my girlfriend away like a hot potato. My girlfriend would cry to me and vent her frustrations at how she can't understand that someone she did some much for and loved tossed her away so easily. Eventually she accepted it and me and her got much more close. Fast forward to June, she meets up with an old (Lets call her Jill). They hit it off again and no one in the world was happier for my girlfriend then me knowing how important having a close friend is to her, so I never interfered in what they had and actually encouraged the friendship because I know there are voids a friend fills that as a boyfriend I can't. Fast forward to October 2012- February 2013, my girlfriend and Jill are bestfriends and I started noticing something. My girlfriends attitude was changing, not seeing me as much and tossed me under the bus. My back was against a wall because I was afraid if I said something it would come off as sheer jealousy or controlling. Eventually I did bring it up and she told me that it won't be like what happened with her friend Sally and that she'll be more loving towards me and stop texting Jill while with me. Needless to say, a week went by and nothing changed. She was still acting the same as she was before. At that point I lost all motivation, I couldn't believe she was putting me through the exact same thing she was going through with her last bestfriend. She eventually dumped me, she said she was sorry for putting me through that but I should of said something (I couldn't earlier on) and that instead of being upset I was being replaced, I should of asked what Jill was doing to make her happy. She also said ever since she started working with people 25 years and older (Jill is 24/25 my girlfriend is 20), she feels that she is growing up faster then me. I asked her what she is going to do when Jill gets a boyfriend and she looked me, grunted and rolled her eyes. Needless to say, I am hurt about what she put me through and I can't believe she put me through the exact pain she went through. That is what is upsetting me, not the breakup. Am I right to be mad? I'd like to add that when her and Sally were bestfriends, my girlfriend did everything to appease her. Like show no affection to me when she is around her, not say I love you if she is around, she wasn't allowed to put a picture of me and her as her fb dp because it may upset Sally. And at my girlfriends birthday party, my girlfriend ignored me 95% of the day because Sally would get mad if my girlfriend spent time with me. Sounds like I am talking about a 10 year old, but I am not. I think my girlfriend is delusional and the very same people she worships are the ones who turn their backs to her and she wonders why. A part of me wants to get back with her, but I know I am holding on to the times where she had no BESTfriends and she was "free" and thats who I want back. I am not contacting her since she dumped me, is that right? Link to post Share on other sites
Infnitysign Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 Dont contact her my last girlfriend for 3 years did the same to me. It was my birthday and she dragged her bestfriend the whole day until 8pm and came and we only spent 2 hours together and left with her bestfriend and on march 28th she broke up with me because her bestfriend took all of her time. My girlfriend's bestfriend before did the same thing she did to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IAmThee Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 Confusing state of affairs Link to post Share on other sites
denxnis Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 Something new an exciting came around so she tossed you aside like yesterdays garbage. If you contact her at all it will give her the impression that you need her more than she needs you. This may be true but don't show her that. Nothing you say or do will make her change her mind, I'd bet my life savings on it. Start doing your own thing and ditch this girl man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Damsel in Distress Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 You deserve a girlfriend whose relationship with you is at LEAST as strong as with her girlfriends, and ideally, even stronger. And yes, no contacting her is going to be the best way for you to separate from her, improve yourself and your self-esteem until you are ready to have a equal relationship with somebody who treats you right. Contacting her will only allow her more opportunities to hurt you even more. Stay strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IAmThee Posted April 11, 2013 Author Share Posted April 11, 2013 Anyone else got more opinions on this? So far I am getting good advice. Link to post Share on other sites
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