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Bf dumped me- trying to move on but will he ever contact me again?


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Hi,

 

Three weeks ago I went out with bf on a night out. He'd been saying that he wants to marry me for sometime and that he loved me. We were going out for 1.5 years. I got so drunk that night ( not my usual behaviour btw) the next thing I know I wake up in my bed and both of us are naked. I freaked out and asked him what happened. He said " nothing". I trusted him but because I was hungover my mind kept questioning. So I kept asking him what happened and again he reassured me nothing happened. The next day we texted as usual and were all loved up. But then over the next few days I noticed he hadn't text me. I asked him " what's wrong". He said " I'm unsure of what I want cause u think i took advantGe of u that night" .. i said " no i didnt, i just was hungover and wanted reassurance"This is we're I became all needy and kept texting him to asking him things like " how could ur feeling change so quick? Don't u love me?". I realise now that it was a mistake to send these texts. He didnt reply to them and asked for space. I gave him space for two days but got scared of losing him and started texting again like 3 texts a day but got no response. He then texted saying " I want u as a friend but not I a relationship". I said " do you want us to work and give it a go? .. He said " yes I do, love u".. But then he be never texted for a few days and I started texting again but no response. I asked " is it over" and he said " yes let's be friends".. I said ok but sent him two texts declaring my love and that my heart was open to him as friends" .. It's been 3 days and no response.

 

What did I do wrong? Except for the constant texting

 

Will I ever hear from him again?? I would like to be friends with him atleast as I do care about it.

I know I need to move on but Im scared that we'll never talk again

I am heartbroken and keep re running the events in my head to know were it all went wrong.

 

I'd appreciate any advice

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honestly I cannot tell you if you will hear from him or not... I am not a psychic, nor is anyone else on LS... if we were, we'd have all won the megamillions by now.

 

Joking aside. The break up is new, fresh etc... he will most likely contact you again in the near future. However, if you keep being the clingy, somewhat stalkerish obsessive ex girl friend, then eventually he will ignore you. He does have a point to be mad. You baggered him about whether or not he took advantage of you while you were knocked out. BTW did you two ever have sex? Anyway, he feels persicuted. Which, may actually mean that he did molest you or something and has a guilty concious. Who knows. Things are over between you two, and instead of obsessing over wanting to hear back from him, you should be trying to move on with your life and try to heel.

 

good luck

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I'm not sure why you badgered him about what happened. He's not someone you met last week, but your boyfriend of 1.5 years. And if you can't trust the man to keep you safe while you've obliterated yourself with alcohol, then that's something you need to figure out.

 

If anything, I would have been embarrassed the next morning and asked him what I did during my drunken state and if I acted inapproriately.

 

I also wonder if he is using this as an excuse to let you go. I wouldn't think that your mistrust was coming from a bad place but that you were so mortified with your blank out that you were all over the place with your questioning.

 

In any case, you can't be friends. If "friends" means motive to stay in his life in hopes of him at some point wanting you back, I can safely say you are setting yourself up for more pain.

 

I don't know if he will contact you. But you certainly need to stop pushing him. If there is any chance of him reflecting and feeling like he made a mistake, it's when you dissappear. Badgering him will only enforce the decision he made.

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Disappear! I'm on day 52 no contact and not one word from my ex, it ain't easy but I'm doing it, but to disappear is the best choice, gotta make them miss you! That's what I'm hopeing for anyways but who knows

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i dont understand people in this (my) generation--making major relationship decisions via text message. TEXT MESSAGE?

 

My ex told me to not contact her and that she was done via text message. COWARDLY. If i were you i would be really angry (not all clingy) over the fact that he dumped you by a text message (and you had to ask too, after he ignored you..coward). You dont owe him anything..especially not your time or tears.

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Thank you all for your responses. I am angry that it's over text but I should of known it would be as most of our daily communication was over text. I'm on day 4 of no contact and am finding it so hard to accept that I my never hear from him again. Why do I feel like that it's all my fault? When I know that if he loved me he would of been willing to work things out.

 

Btw I'm not a regular drinker, I hadn't been drinking for 6 months prior to that night and I guess I acted irresponsibly by drinking so much.

 

I know you guys can't read his mind, but do people ever hear back from the ex's when the reason of breaking up seems irrational or they just wanted space to begin with but u never gave it, so they broke up?

 

Thank you again, you guys have helped me.

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You want to really hope you don't.

 

If you do, it will in all likelihood be merely 'breadcrumbs' and it will simply set you all the way back to square one.

 

Read the Guide in my Signature.

 

The Guide is actually just the first post - but the remainder of the thread is really worth paying attention to, as well......

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Thank you! I'm gonna stick to no contact to heal myself but it's a true struggle. I just want to feel my normal self again. I want us to have one gd friendly convo so I know it's ended on a good note and not an empty unsure one

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