together since teenage years 9 years later she wants to be single

[chinup1]

Me and my ex were together for nine years,we moved in at 18 together (we had been together 3years)through this time everything was really good.three years down the track we decided to get a mortgage i was reluctant at first but thought it was the right thing to do so i agreed.at this time she really started dropping hints about marrage but i was unshore if i was ready for that i think i was going through this grass is greaner thing and i couldn't commit.everything stayed fine for the next two or so years but at the beginning of this year she became distant and we started fighting over stupid things (as we had hardly had a disagreement in the time we were together)i knew there was an underlying issue things have been a bit up and down but now she wants to be single as she cannot relate to being single and feels she needs to experience it. I think she may be experiencing the same feelings i felt years ago(GIGS) but now she is the one pushing away she says she still loves me and i am so deeply in love with her i don't want to let our relationship end as we both no it works and have a deep connection together. we have both discussed the:( situation i said i will agree to the breakup but let her know that i don't really want to as what we had may not be found again.should i let her go or keep fighting for what we have. advice please. :(

[roaminghart11]

IMO it is better that this is happening before you got married. If she loves you after being single for a while she might come back. You have been together since you were 15, basically kids. Let her find herself as an adult.

[ExpatInItaly]

Let her go. It'll be painful, but she wants to go. If she stays, she might be doing so only to preserve your feelings which will not end well.

 

There is a chance she may want to reunite in the future. A similar situation happened with my brother and his now-wife. They were high school sweethearts but she wanted time to find herself and whatnot. After a year apart, they got back together. Now they're happily married with 2 children. I realize their story is not commonplace and I don't want to give you false hope but there sometimes IS a happy ending. If she doesn't come back, you're better off so that you can find someone who wants the same things you do. Good luck and stay strong!

[chinup1]

Thanks for the reply i have been thinking it is probably a good thing as i get to experience the same freedom which i never really had either. Although in saying that i would take her back if she changes her mind as i feel what we had may be replaced by someone else temporarly but we will always have that connection together.( but maby time will change that perception also.)

[Avery234]

I'm pretty much in the exact same situation as you! It isn't easy or fun at all but I know it is best for the relationship. I had to agree to the break up as she was confident it was best. But take this time to look after yourself, hang with some old friends, workout, buy that new watch you've wanted etc. Just take it day by day and if it was meant to be, it will find a way to work!

[Alexandra6799]

I am sorry to go against the others on this thread.. but, from personal experience, I have wanted my partner to fight for me and convince me that everything will work out for us. Some women do not need this however an alternative to an official break up would be perhaps just a break of eachother- for like a month or so, just so that you can both gain fresh perspectives of firstly what you want out of life and the relationship. It may be that a break up isn't what you need and a short break apart will just help both of you to truely realise how special your relationship is and that it is too special to even think about squandering.

I do hope what ever happens is for the best.

[chinup1]

man if you are in the same situation i feel sorry for you i lost my father 3 years ago and that is the only time i have felt further down than i am now.