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do i move on or keep hope?


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My ex and I were together 2.5 years, he broke up with me exactly one month ago saying he had left the relationship. At first he said he just needed space to think. When i was incapable of giving him space, he ended it for "right now and the near future". He immediately rebounded with a girl, but he says he wants nothing serious and they are just hanging out. We have also not gone one day without contact since the breakup, and have seen each other a few times where he winds up asking to spend more time together (going to eat/grab coffee/sleep over with no sex). I told him yesterday that i can no longer have contact with him because I still love him and need to move on. He said he hopes we can be friends later, and that he is having a really hard time with this and that he misses me, but that he "was done with our relationship." I am very much in love with him and would like us to work in the future. i'm not sure whether to keep hope or move on.

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Please re-read your post in the quote below.

 

He made it explicitly clear (twice) he is not into a relationship with you; in other words he is REJECTING you; does not want you as his emotional or sexual partner.

 

What on earth would you be hoping for? Is he high on drugs or drunk when he says those things and when he comes down or sobers up he regrets them? No! He had the honor and decency (which most don't get) to explain to you in direct terms you ARE NOT the one for him.

 

Yes, this hurts. Stings like crazy, however he is being truthful and for the most part respecting your right to know how he feels.

 

You need to let him go now. If he one-day realizes he made a mistake, so be it, he will come back and tell you since he sounds like someone who tells it like it is.

 

In the meantime, the focus has to be on you.

 

 

My ex and I were together 2.5 years, he broke up with me exactly one month ago saying he had left the relationship. At first he said he just needed space to think. When i was incapable of giving him space, he ended it for "right now and the near future". He immediately rebounded with a girl, but he says he wants nothing serious and they are just hanging out. We have also not gone one day without contact since the breakup, and have seen each other a few times where he winds up asking to spend more time together (going to eat/grab coffee/sleep over with no sex). I told him yesterday that i can no longer have contact with him because I still love him and need to move on. He said he hopes we can be friends later, and that he is having a really hard time with this and that he misses me, but that he "was done with our relationship." I am very much in love with him and would like us to work in the future. i'm not sure whether to keep hope or move on.
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ThatJustHappened
Please re-read your post in the quote below.

 

He made it explicitly clear (twice) he is not into a relationship with you; in other words he is REJECTING you; does not want you as his emotional or sexual partner.

 

What on earth would you be hoping for? Is he high on drugs or drunk when he says those things and when he comes down or sobers up he regrets them? No! He had the honor and decency (which most don't get) to explain to you in direct terms you ARE NOT the one for him.

 

Yes, this hurts. Stings like crazy, however he is being truthful and for the most part respecting your right to know how he feels.

 

You need to let him go now. If he one-day realizes he made a mistake, so be it, he will come back and tell you since he sounds like someone who tells it like it is.

 

In the meantime, the focus has to be on you.

 

Sorry OP but I agree with this. He's telling you exactly how he feels. He's not sugarcoating anything. He's not giving you any reason to have hope right now. You need to do what's best for you..right now you're his cushion to get over the relationship. You're actually making it easier for him to get over you by continuing to remain in his life.

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Please re-read your post in the quote below.

 

He made it explicitly clear (twice) he is not into a relationship with you; in other words he is REJECTING you; does not want you as his emotional or sexual partner.

 

What on earth would you be hoping for? Is he high on drugs or drunk when he says those things and when he comes down or sobers up he regrets them? No! He had the honor and decency (which most don't get) to explain to you in direct terms you ARE NOT the one for him.

 

Yes, this hurts. Stings like crazy, however he is being truthful and for the most part respecting your right to know how he feels.

 

You need to let him go now. If he one-day realizes he made a mistake, so be it, he will come back and tell you since he sounds like someone who tells it like it is.

 

In the meantime, the focus has to be on you.

 

Exactly!!! The guy is telling you he is out of the relationship, so what would you hold on to? Do yourself a favor and let him go. As you may already know, it hurts like crazy, but hey, hang in there, it does get better, eventually. One day you'll see how much better you are without him.

 

Best of luck!! *hugs*:)

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destroyed4sho
My ex and I were together 2.5 years, he broke up with me exactly one month ago saying he had left the relationship. At first he said he just needed space to think. When i was incapable of giving him space, he ended it for "right now and the near future". He immediately rebounded with a girl, but he says he wants nothing serious and they are just hanging out. We have also not gone one day without contact since the breakup, and have seen each other a few times where he winds up asking to spend more time together (going to eat/grab coffee/sleep over with no sex). I told him yesterday that i can no longer have contact with him because I still love him and need to move on. He said he hopes we can be friends later, and that he is having a really hard time with this and that he misses me, but that he "was done with our relationship." I am very much in love with him and would like us to work in the future. i'm not sure whether to keep hope or move on.

 

what was the reasons for.him not wanting a.relationship with you?

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there was no reason. he said he was "not in the relationship anymore" we spent every day together, could not be happier. planned on moving in together, ect. The last month of our relationship i could tell something was wrong, he has been very stressed out with certain things in his life, so we would get into small fights. nothing big. then he just ended it one day out of nowhere.

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ThatJustHappened
there was no reason. he said he was "not in the relationship anymore" we spent every day together, could not be happier. planned on moving in together, ect. The last month of our relationship i could tell something was wrong, he has been very stressed out with certain things in his life, so we would get into small fights. nothing big. then he just ended it one day out of nowhere.

 

It doesn't sound like it was out of nowhere for him.

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destroyed4sho
there was no reason. he said he was "not in the relationship anymore" we spent every day together, could not be happier. planned on moving in together, ect. The last month of our relationship i could tell something was wrong, he has been very stressed out with certain things in his life, so we would get into small fights. nothing big. then he just ended it one day out of nowhere.

 

After 3 years, I think he should give you a reason or something that resembles a reason...dont let him get away with that.

Anyway, if you cant get one, NC him and dont answer any friend.requests.

DO NOT be his friend or hang out.

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