Hope for the future

[germain]

So it all ended as every other relationship I've had - at least to some degree. Me blowing up, an epic argument, and finally me saying it was over and I was moving out. Of course the next day I regretted everything I said but moving half of my junk that night before probably didn't make it seem that way to her. So this time, she stuck to her guns.

 

We moved in together way too early. I think this was our main problem. What would have been an amazing relationship, the closest I've ever felt to anyone, was wrought with constant bickering, misunderstandings, and just an overall lack of communication. Textbook recipe for disaster.

 

But I love this girl. Even though we couldn't have continued on as we were, I still want her in my life. I still see her in my future. But right now? I think we both agreed we weren't in the place mentally to support a relationship on top of everything else we've got going against us (work, school, health, bills). She's worried about building up resentment, and truly dooming any chances of it working at all.

 

It was my hope that I could move home, and we would try to work the relationship around me not living with her anymore. She seemed to think that would make things even more difficult. I am not sure?

 

But my mind needs to focus on becoming happy and where I want to be as a person. Neither of us can truly say if that will eventually include the other person I suppose, but something deep down tells me we will never be able to let each other go. Holding her today, both of us crying our hearts out was the saddest moment in my life. We've got a long way to go.

 

Nothing to really ask. Just sharing the experience, hoping someone understands my pain. Maybe words of encouragement