jags2bowl27 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 So yesterday was the birthday... had been thinking a lot the last week or so if I was going to get the text from the ex.... stressed out and sure enough at lunch time I got the text wishing me a happy birthday and she hoped all is well. At that moment I said to myself... should I just ignore it or do i want to answer. I decided it had been 2 months, I didnt hear one word from her, but I wanted to be a HUMAN and say thank you. I texted back, "Thank you, I hope all is well." Nothing more nothing less... she responded with 'Thank you, i hope your birthday is a good one." and i didnt reply back. I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO, KEEP MOVING FORWARD... I KNOW IT MEANS NOTHING, but i STILL analyze it. I just wanted to TOUGH LOVE from my fellow friends here. I obviously still love this girl. 6 months broken up, 2 months NC and she still texts me... What does it all mean. Any advice is appreciated.... I just want to get through this, with or without her. The only thing I keep doing is making the excuse that she is young Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 I wouldn't read too much into it other than she still thinks of you fondly and wanted to wish you a happy birthday. That was nice of her. But it means no more and no less than a nice gesture on her part. Let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 It was just a birthday wish. Move on. The thing with dumpers is that they don't analyze a birthday wish, because it's just a birthday wish to them. A nice gesture that they would like to extend. Don't read into it. If she had more to say, it would have come through. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jags2bowl27 Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 Don't read into it. If she had more to say, it would have come through. This makes sense... if she really was "missing" or "having a hard time," wouldnt she have said it then instead of just a birthday wish. I cant let myself fade back to where i was... i sent a message to her on the 1st of Jan that i need to move on, she agreed but then texts me 2 months later to just say happy bday. makes no sense Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 This makes sense... if she really was "missing" or "having a hard time," wouldnt she have said it then instead of just a birthday wish. I cant let myself fade back to where i was... i sent a message to her on the 1st of Jan that i need to move on, she agreed but then texts me 2 months later to just say happy bday. makes no sense Dumpers don't comprehend the emotional difficulties we go through when trying to move on. As I said, a birthday wish to them, is just a birthday wish. They can't relate it to being a set back for us because they're detached and unemotional. Two months later she is most likely thinking you're okay and moving ahead. A birthday text would be a nice gesture. So she sends. No big deal. She's not thinking, "I want to wish him but I know he said he wants to move forward. I can't send him a text because then he'll think it's a crumb and will wonder if I'm thinking of getting back together. I hope he doesn't post on LS and read too much into it. Maybe I can just send the text and he'll..." They don't ponder or analyze because it is no sweat off their back. You are someone she knows, remembers and had a past with. The nice thing to do would be to wish you. They're just being cordial without ever considering that "cordial" may in fact be too much for us to handle. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jags2bowl27 Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 Dumpers don't comprehend the emotional difficulties we go through when trying to move on. As I said, a birthday wish to them, is just a birthday wish. They can't relate it to being a set back for us because they're detached and unemotional. Two months later she is most likely thinking you're okay and moving ahead. A birthday text would be a nice gesture. So she sends. No big deal. She's not thinking, "I want to wish him but I know he said he wants to move forward. I can't send him a text because then he'll think it's a crumb and will wonder if I'm thinking of getting back together. I hope he doesn't post on LS and read too much into it. Maybe I can just send the text and he'll..." They don't ponder or analyze because it is no sweat off their back. You are someone she knows, remembers and had a past with. The nice thing to do would be to wish you. They're just being cordial without ever considering that "cordial" may in fact be too much for us to handle. makes sense... well maybe she will get the hint when i dont say anything for her birthday next month Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 makes sense... well maybe she will get the hint when i dont say anything for her birthday next month She may or she may not. NC is yours to make what you wish of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Sososad Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 I swear our exs our send to try us! If they knew the mileage we get out of a simple text analyzing it they'd be flattered .. I think it means she cares about you still and it's nice she took the time To think of you shows you cross her mind too But sadly it might mean just that and nothing more Noone here can tell you but her ... Hey happy birthday hope u have a good one !! Link to post Share on other sites
ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 I wouldn't read to much into it. I know its hard not to analyze the text but it was only meant as a thoughtful bday wish. Think of it this way...if she missed you and wanted you to come back to her she would have stated it on her text. The bday text was just that...a bday text. You were an important part of her life once and she just wanted to "honor" that. I know its hard because I remember those days when I analyzed everything my ex sent me. Keep with NC and the more distance you get from this situation the more you will not care anymore. Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Nuna Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 It was just a birthday wish. Move on. The thing with dumpers is that they don't analyze a birthday wish, because it's just a birthday wish to them. A nice gesture that they would like to extend. Don't read into it. If she had more to say, it would have come through. I agree with this. It was just a birthday message. My ex even sent me a present on my birthday. He said I mean a lot to him and he couldn't just pretend I don't exist...I asked him not to talk to me again and he just switched to being rude and inconsiderate. If it hurts you seeing messages, you should ask her to stop messaging you. I realised it really makes me take 10 steps back from my healing having even news from my ex, so avoid it completely...Hope you'll feel better soon x Link to post Share on other sites
Coping Vortex Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 My birthday is coming up too. I'm curious if my ex will send me a Happy Birthday text. Up until two weeks ago she would bread crumb me here and there. But since then she has gone NC. So I doubt I'll get a birthday text. But what burns me is I gave her a $100 worth of flowers on her birthday a few months ago. She doesn't owe me anything but no reason not to be nice even though its over. We were in love for years before the BU. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jags2bowl27 Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 the hardest part is when they do text you, i wish she hadn't... now i have 2 months of NC go by the waste side. The good thing is i replied out of being nice, not wanting her back. I think if she came to me and said i think i made a huge mistake and i would like to try it again i would CONSIDER it.... but like the previosu posts said, she didnt. all she did was say happy bday and leave it at that. clearly shows she doesnt want back. she said in December that she thinks it worth a shot just not right now... then i told her off and said i wont be someone elses second option. Guess that is still what I am to her Link to post Share on other sites
Coping Vortex Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 the hardest part is when they do text you, i wish she hadn't... now i have 2 months of NC go by the waste side. The good thing is i replied out of being nice, not wanting her back. I think if she came to me and said i think i made a huge mistake and i would like to try it again i would CONSIDER it.... but like the previosu posts said, she didnt. all she did was say happy bday and leave it at that. clearly shows she doesnt want back. she said in December that she thinks it worth a shot just not right now... then i told her off and said i wont be someone elses second option. Guess that is still what I am to her I am the second option as well. At least I guess I was, now I don't even know if I'm even that now. So weird. One day you are both in love the next no. Link to post Share on other sites
SinceYou'veBeenGone Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 (edited) Just curious... whats so wrong with replying Edited March 7, 2013 by SinceYou'veBeenGone Link to post Share on other sites
Sososad Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Replying to what people deem breadcrumbs Can be very tricky and set you back Depending on how strong you are. When you reply you can spend the next week watching Your phone hoping for her response (Which may never come ) You may get info back on her life your not Quite ready to hear (set u back also) Or she could be just rude !! Not many positives I can see What some say the "rule" is to only Reply to a proper apology asking for a full reconciliation Or close not just breezy casual texts! I got two off my ex deleted them both but still Messed with my mind for days thinking about them!! Link to post Share on other sites
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