She Ended It Out Of The Blue

[Krew]

Hey

So I am 20 and she’s 18 we have been dating for just over a year and both live with our families but spend weekends together. We basically went from i love you on the Sunday to her asking for a break on the Wednesday and then ending it (she couldn't even manage to say it i had to and she just nodded) on the Saturday morning.

She’s had a lot of guys hurt her and use her in the past and she has done the same as well in that she has only been in a relationship because she was lonely. After she ended it she wanted me to sit next to her and was going to give me a hug and i think talk about it but i couldn't deal with being there without breaking down so i got up and i went to my car and then gave her back her stuff she had left at mine (I had collected together just in case) and gave it back to her rather quickly before leaving her house with all of my things minus a jumper and ring and drove home and broke down. I later text her asking why and what i had done and she basically said that i had done nothing wrong that i could have carried her around like a princess and she still would have ended it and after some coercion told me that she had never loved me and that she had only ever been trying, this hurt me more than i can express and i simply don't believe that after being together for a year (And not to be up myself doing nearly everything right by her and for her including picking her up at 2-4 am after she went out to always looking after her) that she hadn't ever loved me. After this conversation we i started to talk to one of her friends who i trusted and who liked me being with her ( she only has 3 real friends) about what she knew and what she thought of it all and we pieced together from our joint knowledge that she thought it was a mutual agreement and that i dint want to be with her either so with this information ( which was wrong) i broke the no contact rule and asked to talk to her face to face which she agreed to and so i drove to her house and poured my heart out to her and told her that i loved her that i always had and that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. To which she responded by saying i don't want to say anything because i don't want to hurt you anymore. So again i left and went home to fall apart all over again after this i talked to her friend a lot about what i thought i needed to do and what i wanted to do and came to the conclusion that over time she would realize what she had done and that she would come back to me. I Then decided that i wanted to get another opinion of what she had done so against my better judgement i talked to one of her friends that i didn't trust and politely asked if i could talk to her about my ex which she said she didn't want to so i didn't press the issue and thanked her for being honest with me. After which my ex broke the NC rule and text me asking me to stop talking to her friends which i replied with that i didn't mean to upset her and that i would that i was simply trying to get other peoples points of view on the situation, the conversation quickly turned into her accusing me of trying to turn her only friends against her which i wasn't and told her so and finally into her telling me that i didn't need to change anything about myself and that i was fine exactly how i was and that someone else would love me for who i am but that she doesn't and doesn't want to be with me which i refused and told her straight out that i was doing this for her and this now leads to where i am now that was 2 days ago and so it’s been 8 days since we started our "break", 6 days since she ended it and 2 days since she broke NC and I am still thinking about her every moment I am not busy doing something else and even when i am and all i want to do is get her back and i don't know what to do. Advice? Thoughts? Do you think i could get her back? How?

I should probably mention that her mum and bf both left for bali the Monday before this all started and that her brother and sister and their partners left on the following Tuesday leaving her home alone and I believe that she did this on purpose so that no one would question her decision.

Edited March 7, 2013 by Krew

[TaraMaiden]

Hey

So I am 20 and she’s 18 we have been dating for just over a year and both live with our families but spend weekends together. We basically went from i love you on the Sunday to her asking for a break on the Wednesday and then ending it (she couldn't even manage to say it i had to and she just nodded) on the Saturday morning.

 

She’s had a lot of guys hurt her and use her in the past and she has done the same as well in that she has only been in a relationship because she was lonely.

 

After she ended it she wanted me to sit next to her and was going to give me a hug and i think talk about it but i couldn't deal with being there without breaking down so i got up and i went to my car and then gave her back her stuff she had left at mine (I had collected together just in case) and gave it back to her rather quickly before leaving her house with all of my things minus a jumper and ring and drove home and broke down.

 

I later text her asking why and what i had done and she basically said that i had done nothing wrong that i could have carried her around like a princess and she still would have ended it

 

and after some coercion told me that she had never loved me and that she had only ever been trying, this hurt me more than i can express and i simply don't believe that after being together for a year (And not to be up myself doing nearly everything right by her and for her including picking her up at 2-4 am after she went out to always looking after her) that she hadn't ever loved me.

 

After this conversation we i started to talk to one of her friends who i trusted and who liked me being with her ( she only has 3 real friends) about what she knew and what she thought of it all and we pieced together from our joint knowledge that she thought it was a mutual agreement and that i dint want to be with her either

 

so with this information ( which was wrong) i broke the no contact rule and asked to talk to her face to face which she agreed to and so i drove to her house and poured my heart out to her and told her that i loved her that i always had and that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

 

To which she responded by saying i don't want to say anything because i don't want to hurt you anymore.

 

So again i left and went home to fall apart all over again after this i talked to her friend a lot about what i thought i needed to do and what i wanted to do and came to the conclusion that over time she would realize what she had done and that she would come back to me.

 

I Then decided that i wanted to get another opinion of what she had done so against my better judgement i talked to one of her friends that i didn't trust and politely asked if i could talk to her about my ex which she said she didn't want to so i didn't press the issue and thanked her for being honest with me.

 

After which my ex broke the NC rule and text me asking me to stop talking to her friends which i replied with that i didn't mean to upset her and that i would that i was simply trying to get other peoples points of view on the situation,

 

the conversation quickly turned into her accusing me of trying to turn her only friends against her which i wasn't and told her so and finally into her telling me that i didn't need to change anything about myself and that i was fine exactly how i was and that someone else would love me for who i am but that she doesn't and doesn't want to be with me which i refused

and told her straight out that i was doing this for her and this now leads to where i am now.

 

that was 2 days ago and so it’s been 8 days since we started our "break", 6 days since she ended it and 2 days since she broke NC and I am still thinking about her every moment I am not busy doing something else and even when i am and all i want to do is get her back and i don't know what to do.

 

Advice? Thoughts?

 

Do you think i could get her back? How?

 

I should probably mention that her mum and bf both left for bali the Monday before this all started and that her brother and sister and their partners left on the following Tuesday leaving her home alone and I believe that she did this on purpose so that no one would question her decision.

 

I broke your post up into manageable chunks, because it was impossible to read as a solid block of text. (But you really need to punctuate.)

 

I hate to break it to you, but don't go all clingy/needy and beg any more.

 

She's made it quite clear. Her friend made it quite clear.

She doesn't 'feel' it, and 'it' can't be manufactured or created.

 

You either have 'it' or you don't.

 

And this is dead in the water.

 

One, can't make it all up for 'two'.

If something is lacking, you alone cannot compensate.

 

I'm sorry.

It's Full No Contact.

 

Read the Guide in my signature.

 

Time to start adjusting, putting one foot in front of the other, healing and moving on.

 

She's said 'No'.

 

Don't make her end up hating you by insisting on 'Yes'.