When does No Contact get easier??

[Barr82]

My story is long, intense, and i cant believe its my life.....

 

I ran into my ex girlfriend on st patricks day 2 years ago, we went to middle school and high school together but i never really talked to her. I do know now she had a crush on me since 6th grade. At the time of meeting she was married (unhappy though) with 2 small kids. The boy was 3 and the girl was 18 months. At the time i was living out my 20's, being a "playboy" no real commitments i had an on and off girlfriend but nothing special. The night we met was intense, we were drunk and talked very inappropriately, no physical contact but it was wrong. The next day i left for my yearly vacation with my boys to Vegas. I talked to her the whole week i was there, i even was well behaved, unlike how i usually am there. The next weekend i came back, we met up and talked in my car for 3 hours, then we both went out to the same bar, but at separate times, and separately. That night her husband showed up, as planned i knew he was coming, i had a weird feeling of jealously, she cried in the bathroom because she felt bad, but not for him, for me. He left early, and her and i talked all night. The next day i get a phone call, she was leaving her husband.....

 

So after leaving him we started hanging out, usually every 3 days because thats when he would have the kids. I like this girl so much, i turned her down for sex the 1st time she tried, i had a special connection to her, the first time ever i felt that way. Things went on, her ex would harass her, use the kids as pawns, the divorce was ugly and drawn out. At one point he tried to kill himself, it was bad. After he did that he had no access to the kids, and she had the kids all the time. Instead of taking things slow with meeting the kids she said "**** it, just come meet them" i did and i fell in love with them too. During this time i was still talking to my ex, not seeing her, not hooking up but i lied about it. After only 4 months we talked about moving in with each other. She found a place, she moved in, i got nervous and didnt, i was there everyday though. We had rough times, she was stressed and didnt trust me because of my dating history. This was my first real relationship, i made mistakes.... Fast forward to Thanksgiving everything was great, we were a family, i had a place close by her and visited them everyday, spent most nights there too. Then my former gf called her and told her lies about me. that i was still hooking up with her etc. And to be honest, i never did, but she believed her.. it sucked.

 

After a month of back and forth fighting she broke up with me. I was devastated. I laid in bed all day, didnt eat or drink. (which is a horrible idea because i got kidney stones horrible experience) I lost my job, i was on a downward spiral. She on the other hand was hanging out with her ex husband, spending the night there. (because it was to hard to stay in her apartment without me, so she said) They took the kids to Disney on ice together. i was a wreck. She changed her phone number, i thought i lost her forever. Her ex husband even convinced her to go to the police so i would leave her be, she did. So i let her be and in 5 days she was emailing me. We got back together. This time it was hot and heavy, i thought we were great, it lasted a month. She just couldnt trust me... Same deal went back to her ex husband, this time i find out she even hooked up with him. I was in the same boat a miserable wreck. This time is lasted 4 months and when her ex husband got mean, i was back in the picture. This time i was going to do it right, build up slow. Everything was great, i was back in her life and the kids. We were back for 6 months this time, it started off great, went to weddings together, did everything as a family. Then her trust issues came back. She wouldnt let me hang out with my friends, and it was right to work and then back for me. She controlled me. I did everything for her, she makes very little money. I paid bills, bought the kids christmas presents birthday presents. EVERYTHING. She thought i was lying to her, i wasnt. The last straw for her: My best friend got engaged and she asked if i was going to go to the wedding. (this friend of mine his future wife was friends with my ex who caused us problems) I said yes. It was over. That was a little over a month ago. This time she doesnt have her ex to go back to. But after 2 weeks of being broken up she was spending the night with some new guy. She told me she was dating him and from what i hear he is already around the kids, he took my place. Im a little over 2 weeks of no contact. Its so hard. Does it get better? How can she do this? The kids were like my own, i saw her in public with the kids she dragged them away when they ran up to me, like i was the devil. How can she move on so quick.... i dont even want her back, i just miss the idea of the family life and the kids... someone tell me it will get better. I hear from my family and friends this is the best thing for me, because she has issues. But i need an outsider view....

[The Tallest One]

Having recently come out of a roller coaster relationship where my ex kept ending things only to return, then after time split and then repeat, I would say run, run, run! You don't need this kind of crazy in your life. Spare yourself tons of more hurt and just move on! It's clear she has issues and you don't need that in your life! I know it's hard, especially when kids are involved but seriously, think of you and what's best for you!

[Barr82]

Yea i kind of came to that conclusion... Im in the process of bettering my life, doing things i wanted to do when i was with her and she frowned upon it. Like taking the LSAT and going to law school, i work out everyday now, and i get to go out with my friends again which is great. Im at that point where i miss the relationship, the kids, her family and the life i had with her and the future, but i dont miss her. She has issues and she emotionally abused me. Im just trying to stay strong and not contact her....