lemonlegs Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 The rule of thumb, rightfully so, seems to be maintain NC. Naturally, this is the best option when fresh out of a relationship, as there are still some new wounds that need healing. But, what about 2 years down the road? When both of you are in new relationships? I see my ex quite a bit just because one of my good friends is roommates with him, but mostly we ignore each other or just have small talk. My boyfriend on the other hand, hasn't even run into his ex, at least since being with me, and therefore there has been almost no contact. Obviously if someone cheated or did the other person wrong, then it seems to me that forgetting that person existed makes sense, but what about 'amiable' breaks up, or at least break ups that both parties heal from eventually? Do you still just pretend that the other person fell off the face of the earth? Weird... Curious to hear you guys' thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
Thunderchild Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I'm astonished by this fascination to maintain some kind of contact with exes or this fetish to be on good terms. Real life isn't like the Hollywoood Rom-Com chickflicks. I can't think of one of my exes who I would want to see again (tbqh) let alone want to speak to them. They're gone, they're done and dusted, ancient history. Move on! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sheilalou008 Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 The rule of thumb, rightfully so, seems to be maintain NC. Naturally, this is the best option when fresh out of a relationship, as there are still some new wounds that need healing. But, what about 2 years down the road? When both of you are in new relationships? I see my ex quite a bit just because one of my good friends is roommates with him, but mostly we ignore each other or just have small talk. My boyfriend on the other hand, hasn't even run into his ex, at least since being with me, and therefore there has been almost no contact. Obviously if someone cheated or did the other person wrong, then it seems to me that forgetting that person existed makes sense, but what about 'amiable' breaks up, or at least break ups that both parties heal from eventually? Do you still just pretend that the other person fell off the face of the earth? Weird... Curious to hear you guys' thoughts. I maintain a relationship with my ex, who I happen to share a child with. We have no choice and things are ok as they can be. We have been broken up for over 10 years. If he wasn't who he happens to be we probably would have never spoke again. My ex I dumped 2 years ago have hung out recently and have fun as friends. At first he wanted nothing to do with me, which I respected. I did contact him first to test the waters. He was more than happy to hear from me. We were friends for many years before we dated. I do have one ex that I refuse to speak with. He was horrible to me and put me through hell for a long time. Thank god, we have never seen each other since. When I was done, I was done. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I am in contact with only one of my exes. He was my first love from over 11 years ago. We talk occasionally. I never see him since he lives 8 hours away but we are still on friendly terms, which I am happy about. I don't talk to my most recent ex, he cheated on me and lied more times than I probably even know about. I walked out of his house the day he dumped me and he never saw me again, and he never will. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lemonlegs Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 I'm astonished by this fascination to maintain some kind of contact with exes or this fetish to be on good terms. Real life isn't like the Hollywoood Rom-Com chickflicks. I can't think of one of my exes who I would want to see again (tbqh) let alone want to speak to them. They're gone, they're done and dusted, ancient history. Move on! I agree with you to an extent. My first boyfriend, who cheated on me and treated me like crap, I haven't spoke to him since I called him a piece of s___, and I intend to keep it that way. Just because he's not a good person at all. However, my most recent ex, aside from acting like a 15-year-old when he drinks, is a nice enough guy. I am not the type that would ever want to "be friends" with my ex, as in hang out all the time, but it is a bit strange to have someone that close to you at some point never have ANY contact with them for the rest of your life? I guess it just seems weird. Not saying it should be the case, but it's strange. Link to post Share on other sites
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